What Can I Get My Wife That Will Make A Difference?

Hi madam Eya,
Thank God for you and for all the wonderful, beautiful people on the blog. I just discovered
this loving family last week. I'm so happy to be a part of the family even though not used to leaving comments on blogs. I will try to change that now I know how helpful a comment can be.
Eya please, I am sending you this mail to help me publish, worried about what to give my wife that she will truly really honestly appreciate. We have been married for two years and I have a feeling she doesn't really like the things I get for her.

I travel a lot and  each time I'm out of the country, I shop for her, but when I return, the kind of thank you  get makes me feel she doesn't really appreciate whet I give her. Last year I bought her a ladies wrist watch which she rejected that she prefers big Strap watches. Well, I kept it safe somewhere to re present to her on her birthday when she is in a good mood. I look at things, I love them and want to see her wear those but when I give to her she doesn't feel happy although sometimes she smiles but I know it isn't from her heart. 

I remember once she told me that she would prefer to shop for herself because I don't buy things she loves. I opposed because the way she put it was that if I intend spending a hundred dollars on her when I travel, I should rather give her that money before I leave to enable her go do the shopping herself. but,Thing is I travel most times during sales and these things I get are in very very cheap prices. If I give her that naira equivalent, she won't be able to get much. When these things are imported here, their prices skyrocket.  what is wrong with me gettng more at a cheaper rate over there?

Any way,Our Marriage Anniversary is in two months, I'd like to surprise her. I want to get her a gift and I need the ladies in the house to please help suggest the kind of gifts that Nigerian women love. A car is out of it please, she has a very good posh car. What can I get her that she will love?
Women in the house, and even dear experienced men, pls help with suggestions.
Thank you you all.
 Desmond.

Comments

  1. Anonymous4/26/2013

    One shld appreciate a gift no matter wot it is and ur wife shld learn dt. Will come back when I rem wot u can get her! I got pissed reading dis. *rme*

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    Replies
    1. Me too,got really pissed. hmmm plz ooo any one she rejects again contact Eya so she can give it to me. am a size 10 but 8 won't be bad! i wish ur wife reads my comment and starts learning how to say thank you. Buy her what you will love on her and if she puts up an attitude,take a break on getting her stuff. So pissed rite now sending you dis

      Delete
    2. Not necessarily. A gift shouldn't just be "anything". People tend not to appreciate people that just give "anything at all". If you want to really get someone a gift, don't just get them anything. Get them what they'd love and appreciate. If I hate dogs and you get me a dog as a gift, should I now be happy with you cos its a gift when I know I wouldn't use it for anything?

      Delete
    3. Plz Jay I beg to differ,I had to even lookup the deifinition of gift in my dictionary,so I won't be commenting outta context.
      What matters is the intent,gift is something received incidentally without charge. Even if u hate dogs and u gifted a dog look around and u'll fond someone who needs a dog and will pray for you if u give him the dog.
      Must we try to place value in everything,the thought or intention behind a gift is priceless.

      ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    4. Bonario do you know a lot of people will get offended if you re-gift something they had given to you as a gift?

      A lot of people will get offended at that.
      If someone knows you are giving them something just because its useless to you some people will think you think less of them.

      Bottom line, be mindful of people's feeling when giving out gifts.

      Do you give a less privileged person tattered clothes just cos its a gift and expect the person to smile and jump and hug you? Some will do that. Some wouldn't do that. They will feel you really think less of them. Just be mindful. Period.

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    5. Anonymous4/26/2013

      Bonario, I disagree with you. A husband shouldn't give his wife what shell end up giving away. He shd give what she needs.

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    6. I TOTALLY agree with ur wife Mr.Desmond! U can't buy her what she won't use or like, I think u shld allow ur wife look online , u can tell her the shops closet to u, she will send u pictures of the things she wants to guide u, then u can also add one or 2things u love to the pile, seek her opinon stylishly before buying her a gift, I also don't like thin strapped watches, so if u gift me one I might not be quick to wear it, but she shld be appriciative but I totally side with her. Pls u both can sit down to discuss ths. U want to give her an anniversary gift, why not take her to paris for shopping or to d uk in june to shop, france is a beautiful country am sure she wld love that.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous4/26/2013

    No matter how lil a gift is one shld appreciate it well maybe u shld ask her wat she wld luv to have

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  3. Mehnnn...different strokes for different folks o... Some women will feel like they are married to an angel if they have men like you. For me, a gift is what it is..A GIFT. I can choose when I request for my normal money for shopping but when it's a gift, I look more at the thought than the item cos if you did not give me that gift, no one will flog you.

    That said, Sir, pls write he a check of the amount of money you want to spend on the gift. Put it in a lovely well worded card and present it to her while at a lovely restaurant.

    Or buy her a new wedding ring (probably a more expensive prettier one). Renew your vows to her and give it to her.

    But I feel my first option is better. Just look for non-material things to make the day more special so that you can both focus less on material stuffs.

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  4. Anonymous4/26/2013

    jus prepare on day nd take her out 2 anywhere she want nd ask her 2 choose wat ever she want den u paid hw abt dat

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  5. My brother just like the first anon said,gifts are meant to be appreciated first and foremost. Its a gift coz u aint paying her for a service rendered so she ought to be grateful no matter what. From her reaction,seems ur wife is the money conscious type and u'll be surprised she may not even buy anything or will go for something lesser u give her the money.
    Try to surprise her and at the same time give her what she'll appreciate,I'll advice u wittingly chip in the things she would love to av if given an option or what she would av loved to shop for. Sometimes even women are confused when it comes to what she wants and what she needs. I guess u've been shopping for what she needs but thats not what she wants.
    I used to ask my sisters what a girl will love for Valentine and her bday,believe me its always hard for them to even tell and I endup going for my prior intended gift .
    If these options don't work,next time wrap the money with a sheet and give it to her.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/26/2013

      Bonario I totally disagree wit ur statement 'seems ur wife is the money conscious type and u'll be surprised she may not even buy anything or will go for something lesser u give her the money'. Dats someone's wife, u dnt knw her so y judge her? She's not an opportunist dat should jump at everything called a gift and she's got choices. It doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate dem,jst dat d 'thk u' tone will be low compared to wen d hubby gets her a gift dat triggers her. Wen I was growing up my mum always got me clothes I didn't love wen she noticed my appreciation tone was low and I always complained she had to start giving me cash to sort myself out and everybody is happy now. Its unfortunate hubby doesn't knw wifey's taste so hubby pls always give her d little u have, she will appreciate it more ***kimmy says so***

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    2. Anonymous4/26/2013

      LOLLLLLLL@wrap d money wit a sheet n give her!!!!!!!
      bona u are too funny walai!

      Delete
  6. I agree with Ahdaisy, just give her the amount you intend to spend, then you can follow her when she goes shopping, or better still u can include her in your next trip and let her pick what she wants, that way you can learn the type of things she likes and doesn't.

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    Replies
    1. Yes o...cos if his wife were to say her own side of the story, we might understand her better. Cos in as much as a gift is a gift, if you keep getting something you won't use, it's not good for you and the person who bought it.

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    2. blexin4/26/2013

      personally I do appreciate watever my man buys for me and I always respect it cos it is not easy for someone to remember you, talk more of getting u a gift. Sir, stop buying gifts for her first den check her reactions.

      Delete
  7. Perhaps you should try and make the trip with her abroad during sales if it's possible and take her shopping with you. Make her buy what she wants.

    Or rather, if you really want her to be happy, you shouldn't really be that bothered about it being "cheap". It's your wife and her happiness that are on the line if you ask me.

    Or better still, let her list what she'll want you to buy for her. Pay attention to her interests. We women like leaving you men with clues to things we'd love you to buy for us in our normal conversations. So try and pay attention to her interests.

    Is there anything she keeps talking about? Or is there something she says she wishes she had or her friend or colleague got and she'd love to get one too. Just pay attention sha.

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  8. Hmmmmm guess your wife and i are in the same boat for me its not that i don't appreciate the gift but whats the use of buying a gift that i wouldn't use everbody has their taste and things they like and know what would suit them well i always prefer the money so i can buy the things i like as they say different strokes for different folks

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  9. Anonymous4/26/2013

    I feel that maybe u always buy evrything for her n don't evn allow her 2 shop 4 herself,some women don't like it,they prefer 2 shop for themselve n I also feel she needs the money for some personal needs which u tend 2 neglet somtimes so its a matter of sitting her down n finding out wot d issue is bkos like u sed u r alwez traveling n may have less time 2 spend with her so maybe its time u 4get abt item gifts n give her ur time n attention bkos in this case.....Gift isn't evrything. #Ugo#

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  10. I can really relate with this cos I have the same issue with my husband. Not that he doesn't get me good things but he does not know my taste and I think ur wife feels that way too. I'll tell u what worked for me. I go online with my hubby and I show him the sort of things I like that gave him an idea of what to get for me. U can also give her a gift card to get what she wants (I don't know if that works in 9ja but giving her a cheque like Ahdaisy suggested isn't a bad idea. Also, u can never go wrong with perfumes, buy a a few diff fragrances. Marriage is a learning curve, u've been married for 2 years. Gradually u'll get to know the things she likes.

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  11. Anonymous4/26/2013

    Its good u try to find out wat she likes..i love big face wrist watches buh my bf of less dan a month got me a small face wrist and i was so happy, at least he doesn't really no wat i like and it was evn a kind gesture for him to get me a gift and dat wristwatch has been on ma wrist since den.like Ada said, if he doesn't get d gift nobori will flog him ooo...
    Some ple don't no aw to appreciate gifts anyway...cos to me its d act of giving not d gift itsef dat matas...
    Just ask her or give her d money ....or betta stl take her on one of ur trips.

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  12. all i can say is that Desmond is a nice man!! :)

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  13. Aww... you are such a gentleman. I suggest you look for ways to send her out of the house all day and get someone to redecorate the house with lovely flowers and place cold bubbly champagne in an ice bucket. Then when she comes in, she'll be surprised and then, you give her a long kiss and tell her how special she is to you. Most times, material things aren't all that matters.
    All the best dear.

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  14. Lurvemj4/26/2013

    Buy her a car! You'll get the reaction your're looking for!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/26/2013

      She has a great car.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous4/26/2013

    @Bonario, if he continues to give what she doesn'need, who will then give her what she needs?

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    Replies
    1. I wonder. Thank you Anon 12.35

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  16. Anonymous4/26/2013

    A candle light dinner will be magical. When she's away you could cook yourself if you are a good cook,or buy the food.make it a 3 course meal,with candles ,romantic music in the background,a well dressed table.both of you should be well dressed ,you in a suit,her in a gown.u could use ur sitting room,bedroom,dining-if the table is not too big! @ the end of it all,it should be the night of your lives. You could also let her in on the plan so you can cook together and prepare together. Cheers :)

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  17. Anonymous4/26/2013

    Candles too! Afterall its a candle light dinner.afterwards u could still give her a lil gift.she'll love this addendum (hopefully)

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  18. Anonymous4/26/2013

    Adaeze Ibechukwu has given u d most romantic advice.pls take that.
    Subsequently,if u want to get her a gift, u can have her shop online, pick somthing of her choice at a store u can easily access when u travel and u pay n pick it up for her. I just hope she'll b considerate in her options. That's another way to go abt it.
    As for myself, I accept wholeheartedly wateva gift(s) my husband gives me,whether I lik it or not. The intent is wat makes me smile, not d gift.

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  19. Anonymous4/26/2013

    Why don't u try to find out her tastes.
    Try to speak with her sister or cls friend.
    She may even not be interested in gifts like me.
    Pple have different love languages.
    Since u travel a lot buy the 5 love languages either d book or audio tape.
    I ve it on my phone and listen to it evrytime.
    Its by Gary Chapman.
    Its wonderful and eyeopening and I recommend it to all my friends.
    The languages are acts of service, quite time/ attention, physical touch (sex), gift giving and word of affirmation.
    There are different dialects but these are d primary ones.
    If u study them very well trust me u wld thank me, I keep recommending this to pple nd evry1 is impressed.
    For all u know, ur wife may jst want ur constant words of praise nd compliments, or she may want u to spend time quality time with her or help her mre arnd the hse and u r busy buying gifts.
    Not that its wrong to buy gifts.
    Humans are different, with different tastes.

    All the best and God bless.

    Karen

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  20. Anonymous4/26/2013

    It doesn't mean u shldnt buy gifts o, but try to speak her primary love language, the rest na jara.

    Karen

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/26/2013

      Karen Igho?

      Delete
  21. Johnson4/26/2013

    Make effort to find out, from your wife, the things she REALLY loves… You will be amazed that your wife’s love language is not necessarily gifts. We all have different love languages and should strive to meet the other party at the point of need.
    My wife loves gifts, especially wrist watches, trinkets, designer makeup kits, perfumes, lovely bedspreads, beautify underwear, bags. I know she always loves travelling… Sweetheart, I’m sure you’ll let me know if something new has come up that was not mentioned (she knows when I writes…)
    Some other person’s love language is spending time with them in the kitchen, going out to watch movies together, etc. My point is “if gift is not your wife’s love language, you might not get (see) the excitement you expect by buying her gifts, even though she’ll appreciate the gifts”.
    However, reading through your post, I would recommend you do the following:
    1. Take your wife on the next trip with you and let her do the shopping personally. But sha, buy her something special (not necessarily on sales!) while on the trip.
    2. Know what her love language is and just do it!
    When this is done, the reward will pleasantly surprise you.

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  22. Anonymous4/26/2013

    Different strokes for different folks! Na wa o. Give her a break of gift n watch wen next u travel n return. Some women are lookin 4 a single gift wtout gettin. Women wth wahala sef. If d man change now, na d same would come as unknown beggin 4 advice.

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  23. Fehintoluwa4/26/2013

    choi. eni to lori o ni fila. eni to ni fila o lori. smh.

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  24. Karen just lifted the words off me.

    Are U sure what she wants is to be spoiled with gifts?

    Maybe all she wants is to be chatted up in the kitchen, or given compliments or touched.

    B4 we can conclude that really the gifts are her issue, we need to rule out the fact that she is okay with the love you show her.

    After then we can now decide about the gifts.

    Another way the gifts can be sorted is to carry her along when shopping. Take a picture of the items, let her decide then buy.

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  25. My thought exactly!

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    Replies
    1. @ Fehintoluwa

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  26. kendra4/26/2013

    First of all,I'd say u are a gentleman,not all men buy gifts for there wives or even think of it atall... So for u to be doing it,that means u are nice and caring and know how to show it.

    That been said,I think a gift is something that should be appreciated,if the things u buy for her doesn't get to her,try finding out the things she likes and get those for her instead... Stop buying things she wouldn't be needing,buy the things she would love

    Throw questions at her occassionally so that u will know what she likes,then get those things... I don't think u should give her money as gift for ur wedding anniversary... When u giving money,it should be that u giving her to buy what she wants and not as gift...

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  27. If you give her money, the moment she gets the money it's seen as hers and when she buy's anythin with it, it's her using her money to buy herself smfin.

    You simply nEed to get her a gift that is credited to ur name... How can you do that? Put your hears down, listen to her; in ur many conversations you can hear her talk about what she truly fancies, all women fancy smfin all the time, women are made with fantasies and choices.

    Mr. Des, the Onus is on you. Keep trying till you hit the spot, after all life is all about experiments.

    Nuff'Said!
    HML

    ReplyDelete

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