Teach Your Son To Be Good Husband And Good Father By Victoria

Hello Eya, how are you and your family?  Please I would like you to post this on your blog I would love to get a

Feedback from other readers:

 ...If only our men were taught to be good husbands and fathers, the family unit will be a better place. I am deep in thoughts about why so many Marriages
collapse these days and whose fault it is. 

I know that a lot Of blame is placed on the woman if there is a breakup. If her husband Cheats on her she is blamed for it and expected to forgive him, if she Cheats on her husband, she is blamed and probably sent packing without Any forgiveness from the husband and if the husband forgives her he never Forgets and the home is never the same again. She is blamed if the children don't
Turn upright, but if they do the husband receives the kudos.

  This has made me think that if only our men were taught to be good husbands and fathers and not just men, then our home will be a Better place. There will be less discord in families.

 For instance at an early age, the girl child is taught to be a woman, a wife to her husband, a mother to her children a care giver, she is taught to be humble to her husband and be tolerant and patient towards her husband's short comings. To accept whatever she sees in her marriage as part of the marriage package. 

She is taught to be submissive 'to the point of being a doormat'. She is taught how to cook, wash, care, provide, iron and take care of her home. 
All these are good but my question is, who trains the man or boy?   
Right from an early age, the boy child is taught to be strong, to be a 'man', a provider, the head or the boss of his home.
But one mistake that is made is that no one teaches him how to be a good husband', a good father, no one teaches him how to 'love' his wife just as d bible instructed, no one teaches him to be tolerant , be loving and understanding husband to their wives, to consider her feelings and accept whatever he sees in marriage as part of d package,
I think parents should start training their boys to become good husbands and fathers and not just on how to be a man 'FOR NOT  EVERY MAN CAN BE A GOOD HUSBAND ND FATHER BUT  EVERY GOOD HUSBAND AND FATHER


  1. opeoluwa4/16/2013

    Hmmm food for thought.

  2. I loved how you painted how a girl child is being trained, so true but not obtainable in recent time... Call me whatever, but look around you, even closer, this forum is a female one, if there was one for married men we'll probably have a lot flaws raised by men also. As a guy av seen so many I'll mannered girls, so badly trained that you can just puke at their ways and sight, I don't put the blame on parents, I put it on the society, technology & over secularization. Our african morals are totally dead!

    On training a male child to be a husband you need a chip or software that'll be programmed and installed into the male brain.

    #fact is, you can never tame a male, if you do you'll end up breeding a monster! Society is our tutor, we live by our external influences not family or by parents. Have you read "things fall apart" imagine the Okonkwo character and that of his father, men have always been who they are.


    You can all send in ur hate words, I need them now!

  3. Anonymous4/16/2013

    U rE just sick

  4. All I can say to this is that marriages collapse because couples dnt obey the word of God. So many people neglect God and dust Him out of the closet when they are in trouble. A man once told me that he can never cheat on his wife or maltreat her because he fears God more than he loves his wife. God told him to love his wife as Christ loves the church, so no matter how selfish he might want to be, he doesn't want to disobey God.

    Whatever God tells us to do whether in the commandments or in the new testament commandment of Love, all is for OUR own good. When He says dnt lie or cheat or fornicate, it does not remove anything from God rather if you disobey, it will only affect you or people around you. It does not make God less of who He is.

    So, the title of this post should, train your children to fear God, live His word and love. Whether male or female. Cos even well brought up men still mess up. Only the word of God can change a man for good.

  5. ****Mufasa Said4/17/2013

    Thank You dear, I will definately take note

    ****Mufasa Said

  6. Johnson4/17/2013

    ‘Train up a child to fear God’ - Hmmmm…. I will put it this way – train up a child to know & love God. Men that know and love God will fear (reverence) Him!
    I (we) have 3 boys and I know there is still a lot that needs to be done in bringing up boys to be responsible adults. The first thing having the right priorities right – God, Wife, Children, & others. Others include ministry, career, extended family, friends, etc. Children (boys or girls) will naturally learn from what they see (let your light shine for people to SEE…).
    I was raised by my mother and have no record of my father taking responsibility for me (the man no pay one kobo for my upbringing though he lived till I was a graduate and started working…). Everything I know about being a good husband I learnt from God – some credits to my mother: I learnt how to do (& love to do) house chores from her. The earlier part of my marriage was more challenging and God started dealing with me as my desire to please Him as a husband and a father grew. Two key things to learn are ‘dos/don’ts’. I believe I am a better husband today and I know that tomorrow will be better than today.
    I know our children are watching very keenly how I respect and treat their mother (including other women)… I also seek for opportunity to chat with them in order to understand their views on various subject matters. Where needed, the proper counsel is given…

    1. I totally agree withd points you have made. I am from a family of 4 girls and a boy who is d last born. We d girlss were basically the mothers and my brother was kind of spoilt mayb bcoz he was d only boy, d baby of d house and and a huge gap between d fourth child n him. He has turned out fine coz my dad treated my mum with respect andit was generally a loving home which I think we all watched andlearnt from and it has nurtured us into who we are today (although mybrother was and is not good with chores coz he had 4 big sisters to do all that at d time).

      I have 2 kids n soon to pop d 3rd one out. My 1st is a boy n he is very curiousn always asking questions, he is very good with cleaning, tidying up, making his bed and always wants to help me out in d kitcken. He watches his dad and also does d same n ibelieve he wants to b like his dad and therefore copies n put into practice what he observes. It is important to show love, a lil affection, mutual respect, bringing them up in d way of God helps them to b a better person as and when they grow up.

  7. Anonymous4/17/2013

    Hmmmmmm.@johnson. I really wish my hubby will read your comment.the fear of God is very good while love of God will propel a man to genuinely seek to obey him. Children look up to us and their behaviour are moulded most especially by our actions more than by our words.when we have cold war and don't talk to each other,my 7year old son goes around asking us why we aren't talking.the time a friend of mine was beaten by her hubby,their 3year old daoughter demonstrated it to everyone who cared to watch. Sometimes I wonder the kind of world we will eventually have. God have mercy....


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