RELATED STORIES

I Need Help, Should I Become A Second Wife?

Good morning Aunty Eya,
I am in a big problem right now and I need help. I don't know how to put it so that people understand me. I am pregnant for a family friend and he wants the baby. Please aunty Eya beg your bloggers to
forgive me. I am very sorry about everything. I didn't know it would get to this. 

My family is very poor, my dad just managed, with the help of a rich man I dated ( he later married a girl from a rich family like himself), I managed to graduate from the University. After my youth service, I moved to Abuja in search of a job. There I met a senior friend who took me in and was very good. She is a single parent (lost her husband while pregnant) and we use to get a lot of visitors both male and female. There are other women too squatting in her apartment so we are many staying with her and her son in her big apartment. This is how I came to meet my manfriend.

He is a friend of my aunt ( the lady I stay with) and comes to visit and hang out with us regularly. From getting close, I got to know that he has been married for 9 years without a child. He complained to my aunt that he just discovered his wife can't have kids and she never told him. She has been like a pillar. She is the backbone of his successful business and he doesn't know what to do.

With his visits, we became close and before I knew it, we started dating. I don't know why but I started feeling pity for him and let him sleep with me. Last month I discovered was pregnant and told him. I told him because I am just managing a private school as a teacher and cannot afford to sponsor a D and C. I asked him for money to enable me go for a D and C and he refused that he wanted the baby. Last week, he told my aunt and told her that I may not live with her any longer because he has already paid for an apartment for me and wants to meet my parents.

All this he is doing in private , he doesn't want his wife to know. I have never met her, but she is a woman like me and I feel so bad but cannot help myself. This man loves his wife so much that I foresee him abandoning me after his baby is born. I don't want to be anybody's baby making machine, I don't even want to keep this pregnancy but cannot afford to do anything on my own. He says he has told his father about me and his dad wants to meet me. Right now I feel so bad. I have tried to borrow money from my aunty but she won't give because he is her friend and she feels like I should keep the baby.

I have never felt this bad in my life, I lived my life hating on young girls who follow married men around and live off them. I never wanted to make friends with ladies who get other women's husbands to rent apartments for them. This is something I so condemn, right now it is about to happen to me. I know he can never love me like his wife, he is just desperate for a child. If only I can do something about it, I will have nothing to do with him again. He has been financially very helpful, but I can manage my life and live within my means. I am so worried, I can hardly sleep these days.
Please I need help. What can I do? Should I move into the new apartment or just continue to stay with my aunty?
Is there anything I can take to get my periods back? Please help me.

Comments

  1. Anonymous4/21/2013

    U re a thief!dats all I can tell u,who re u telling dat nonsense dat u felt pity on him,wat re u expecting us to tell u,to move,thief!cos u kw he was married

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmoa @ all the married women's comment, u ladies are harsh, ths lady's story is pitiful, pls no D and C, give the man and hs wife the child n moVe on with ur life.
      Plenty of us here have secrets that we can neva share, so if some1 has shared hers, pls let's not throw stones#cos no body holy pass#

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/22/2013

      Biko'm madam eya, where is the link for edikaikong soup?

      Oh as for the lady. The solution is simple. Ask the man to set up a meeting with you and his wife after he has told her everything first oh. Apologise to her, ask them to set you up somewhere and take care of all you need for the pregnancy until you have the baby. Then give them the child after you put to bed and move on with your life. Just look at it like an abortion but after nine months. Cheers!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/29/2013

      I am a Black American woman and married to a Nigerian man, here in the United States... there is no question that what you did...is wrong in every way! There are no answers for you.. you have created a child out of a "hot mess", what future will there be for that child. What you did is selfish, and you will pay...but that child will pay the ultimate price. What is wrong with you "loose" women... where are your values and your morals? I think married women (excuse for making this statement) should start beating you down, every time they see girls like you looking at their husbands. I bet you will think twice the next time!!! And where is your family... they need to knock some sense into you!!!

      Delete
  2. Anonymous4/21/2013

    Dear Op! Thunder fire u! U have a special room in hell waiting for u, for causing another woman such problem, God will judge u! Such guts u have! I leave u with ur conscience! Anu mpama!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4/21/2013

    Ur worried??? U can't sleep??? U haven't seen anything yet! As uve taken sleep from another so will it b far from u. God help u o if d wife is d praying type!!!! Ur underestimating d power of a praying wife, esp one who has never committed adultery! For ur period, pls go and take it back from d dustbin where u dumped it. Ashewo oshi!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous4/21/2013

    Dnt call her a thief judge Judy. If she was a thief she won't b here tlkin. DandC is like 10k in Abj so u can't afford that??? That said y dnt u consider just giving birth n moving on wit ur life instead of thinkin abt bin a second wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/21/2013

      She knows wat she wants sweetheart, she is here to solicit ur pity, support and justification for wat she did! Of cus she cn afford that but she is tinted towards bein a second wife. The question is? Ru in support dat she marries d man? Leave all dose bullocks she erite. And yes! The do called judge judy is write, she is a thief! It's not enuf she is eating wat belongs to another, but she now wants to acquire it for hersef to permanent deny the real owner access to it.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/21/2013

      *silly phone! Typo
      The so called judge judy is right..,

      Delete
  5. Anonymous4/21/2013

    My dear, d deed has already been done, why are u crying over split milk? Common move in, live in luxury, ride in flashy car n neva abort d pregnancy. B'cos if u wantd u wud hav termited it without asking. Just watch ur back cos d wife is aware n they cud be after d baby. If truly u're so remorseful, hand over d baby to them since u sounded as such abi! Just my opinon, pls no hating. Most cases we see it coming n stil pretend all b'cos of poverty. Wot do u think u wll get, by being involvd wth a married man? Search ur conscience very well.. Pls single ladies out there don't capitalise on one's vunerability, God wl give evry single ladies their husbands.
    EIS

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well you knew he was married before you slept with him abi? There are some decisions that can make or mar your life forever. That already said, the did has be done. My honest advice is dat u shldnt marry him. It's bad enough dat u hv started breaking his home just don't go further by marrying him. What God has joined together let no man put asunder.
    Don't go about trying to get pity from people a lot of people are poor so it's what u choose to do with it. It can serve as a motivator for success or failure but just know that your background does not hv any ryt to put your back to the ground except you let it. You managed to finish university yh? Do something with it! Acquire skills, try to get a better job etc. You allowed the thought process to enter your head that is why you ended like this. You had it in mind! You wanted a way out. Proverb says guard your heart with all deligience for out of it flows the issues of life. Start fillinf your head with more positive thoughts. Make arrangements on how you'll share custody of the child and do something with your life! Don't just sit around.

    Outta here#

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous4/21/2013

    Hmmm nawa! The cane used to flog the 1st wife is behind the door, waiting to be used on u!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous4/21/2013

    D deed has been don, i wnt condem u, bt u have to take responsibily for ur 'pity' sorry action. Becomin a second wife is totaly out of it, aborting dat child, No way. Dnt u dare do dat. U have to face d full concequences for ur actions, or u'll only be doubling ur trouble.
    Pity shld neva b an xcuse for any relationship. Now see wat pity has caused u. Go beg God for mercy thats all i can say. U also need d wife's forgiveness, cos u just took her husbands hope frm her, took away d fact dat she shld b d only mother of his children. He may have lied about her condition u know. What were u even thinking, didnt u for once stop to think of ur actions b4 now? No single lady have d right to b invold with or b dat close to a married man, no mater d picture he tries to paint, marriage is for beta for worse, if d problem was his, would he b happy if his wife went out to get pregnant, will he tell her he has a problem, wunt he just do anything to make his wife stay even if its her d whole world abuses for not bearin children. He is selfish, and u only made urself a tool. Remeba, wat God has joind togethr let no man come between. As for ur period, xpect it after nine months.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous4/21/2013

    I suggest u don't marry d man n don't abort d baby either,come 2 an arrangement wif him,u can choose 2 b a single mom n share custody wif him or u can try n acquire skills so u can b an independent single mom bt no matter wot happens,do nt move in as a 2nd wife,leave ur options open bkos d man may b gud 2 u as a mistress bt u dnt knw hw it'll b wen he marries u n as u also sed he loves his wife so b sure he wants ur baby n nt u. Also stop blaming poverty,rich pple also make wrong decisions so jst tek responsiblity of ur act n focus on hw 2 lead a better life. Goodluck #Ugo#

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous4/21/2013

    First start a prayer and fasting session for mercy and deliverance, because you have sinned against God

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/21/2013

      #GBAM n pray no b woman like me u try dis with.I wud av poured u acid b4 thinkin of d consequences.betta tell d man2kip his father n all he wants2b doin,get ur lazy ass out n hustle hard.hissss

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/21/2013

      All of you running your mouth ba ba ba ba he who is without sin let him cast the first stone. Some of you can do worse deed

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/18/2015

      Anyone can make mistakes lonelness is a disease people always looking for a cure. The man is to blame he is the head of all relationships , get it macho man. Men convince us to get what they want use us move on he's a dog. Greedy. Instead we have to learn hard way. Tell him to kick rocks !! 😆 give him the baby Nigerian custom daddy's baby mommy's maybe

      Delete
    4. Anonymous5/18/2015

      Ok

      Delete
  11. kendra4/21/2013

    The deed has been done.. U made the whole mistake! U were not a nice person at all.. Why would u get close to a married man? Why would u even date him? What kinda pity are u talking about? U didn't pity him anything! U saw a rich man who can take care of u since u weren't paid enough so u grabbed the opportunity. U an just an opportunist..

    So now face the consequences. No abortion. If u feel really bad,don't move in to the appartment he rented for u,stay were u are.. Manage the salary u get and take care of ur antenantal dues.. Give birth and share custody with the man while u try get ur own husband. Cos u can't deny the man his child

    But do not marry another woman's husband and do not even enjoy any luxury from the man if u are indeed sorry. Do not let the wrath of God fall on u.. U didn't even stop to think at all. What if he knews since that his wife couldn't give birth? But u were so eager to be his second wife and u decided to sleep with him to see if u would get pregnant for him. Now u want us to pity u? Which pity... This is so annoying

    ReplyDelete
  12. I just hate that this lady is here seeking for pity, do u think we are stupid? You feel no remorse, u just want to see if some women will help make u feel better about ur act. U're not even honest, how then do u expect to get pity? U said u slept with another woman's husband out of pity. This is a man who u said is very inlove with his wife so what did u pity him for? Was he sex starved or love starved? U sleept with him for ur selfish reasons and u intionally allowed that pregnancy. Even married women have several ways to prevent pregnancy, how much more u sleeping with a married man? U know what u did and what ure after so stop the pretence

    ReplyDelete
  13. Pray to God to forgive u! Den pls n pls don't abort that child. The child doesn't belong to u, but to God. The bible says children are inheritance frm God, they are arrows and will answer the enemy at the Gate. Meaning your breakthru is from ur child. U can never tell if this will be your one and only, so pls keep the baby. Secondly the man is already married, any sexual relationship u have with him is adultery for him and fornication for your, it doesn't matter if he pays bride price, weds u in a chc or mosque or in the court of law. It is still not right, don't be a second wife. Let the wife know the situation and be remorseful okay. Rejoice with those that rejoice, mourn with those that mourn,it won't be easy but don't let the fact that you have a child and she doesn't be a thing thing to mock her, don't use this situation to ridicule her. Ultimately you need Jesus in your life! Because u have left Gods will for you, pray let God restore peace in your life and let this situation work for good to all parties!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nne, biko, that your “Aunty" that is housing women like that... Are you sure she is not a pimp? How do we know that you are not one of those 'escorts' who give their bodies away for financial favors? Your story get K-leg and u are contradicting yourself in every paragraph.

    You are asking if you should be a second wife yet you don't want to break the marriage. The man 'loves' his wife like you claim, yet here you are with his baby... I reject dat kain love in Jesus' Name!

    Nne, since you are just knowing that you can survive on your own, keep the baby, move back to where you moved to Abuja from, severe all ties with the man and train ur child like a single Mom. That is the right thing to do if you are truly sorry.

    But who am I kidding? You probably typed this in ur new apartment with the man beside you rubbing your tommy and telling you how you are a real woman while his wife is a man... SMH!!!!

    This world eh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/21/2013

      Lmao!!!!! Walai! This is one of d best comments u hv made

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/21/2013

      I tell u,yeye dey smell!am sre she's already done d deed

      Delete
    3. Hm...I even have a feeling she wants to speed up things by posting this here. She might be hoping the wife would read this and of course she'll decode that it's her husband involved. Then they'll quarrel and miss poster can come in and take over... Dnt be surprised. It could be her aim! Since she said the man wants to do it secretly and doesn't want to leave his wife.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous4/22/2013

      D last paragraphs struck me o, so she knew she cud cope financially on her own yet has bn hanging in with him for financial gains........ Greeeeed!
      U claim d man really loves his wife, is dat how U want to b loved?
      U had unprotected sex with a married man who I bet U dnt know much abt, how are U sure U r d only one pregnant for him??
      D guy had plans sha n mayb U too.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous4/21/2013

    Ashawo kobo kobo. Dats how some of these abuja gals go around looking for who to devour. Your trap has caught a big fish; isn't dat what u wanted, if not how can you sleep with a married man without protection even after d sex u still did not take any contraceptive dat shows u've bn planning this all along.

    U never finish telling us d story. I guess d man must hv told her all he needs is d child nd thereafter he will settle u. So ur plan didnt work as planned. U want to reap where u did not sow "THIEF".

    How I wish d man's wife will lay her hand on you nd lets see how pity ur useless ass will be. Home breaker.

    My advice leave d man alone. If u felt pity for d man as u claimed u should hv advice him to go for an IVF since he can afford it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Gloria4/21/2013

    U're really funny you know?! Imagine! What got me pissed is ur excuse of poverty. I live in Abuja,I don't have a job,I just live from collecting goods from pple who are pitying me and reselling. Maximum profit I make per month is like 12k.and u need 2 see me hawking @ fed secretariat under sun! And I be graduate with 2.1. Don't I have married toasters? I do! U're just greedy and u don't ve d fear of God! Pity to sleep with someone else's husband? And if u really didn't want the baby,why didn't u just abort it witout telling him? U slept with a married man witout condom? Of cos u wanted his baby! See,don't come here looking for pity or justification! Say I'm judging u 4m now till 2moro,yes I am judging u! Ole! Olojukokoro,lazy girl looking for easy way out. Don't tink u'll escape free,cos karma no dey 4get! U know wat u want now,which advice are u looking for? I'm so pissed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sis well done. God will surly reward u

      Delete
  17. Anonymous4/21/2013

    U made a big mistake bringing that problem here this women r pples wives n won't advise u o,they will insult u today get ready

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/21/2013

      She deserves the insult. If na u nko. Which woman will be happy knowing dat d home she had built for good 9yrs is about to collapse because of one top abuja whore.

      Delete
    2. The man wont leave his wife n she sef knws. Hes just lookin 4 a baby mkin machine.

      Delete
  18. Wow! I didn't even want to comment cos ur story just sounds so fake,with this ur yeye remorse. But I just wonder at you sha. you're even saying his wife has problem and can't conceive. For ur mouth! May God forgive us all.
    You slept with a married man without thinking of protection and u said u didn't want this? How silly are you? I have no advise to give because it will not make any difference to you. You know what u want. Just remember that in life,you reap what you sow,if not now, later in future.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous4/21/2013

    Aunty Eya. Pls mind d kind of post u bring here seeking for advice.

    This one definitely dnt need our advice because she knows what she is doing.

    A private school in abuja salary is upto 50k per month depending on d school, some even pay as high as 100k to 150k and u dont pay for accommodation. U need our pity sorry u re not getting any cos u re an ass hole.


    ReplyDelete
  20. The devil was looking for where to sow a seed and you volunteered! Your circle of friends (aunty, etc) must be terrible people - birds of the same feather flock together. I think you’re trying to discredit this blog by your posting – what advice are you expecting? It’s like the devil asking what he needs to do to be saved!
    As you have knowingly allowed yourself to be a tool in the hand of the devil, be ready for the consequences. The innocent child should not be made to ‘suffer’ for your sins. For you to be free, the truth must be said:
    1. The father of your child confesses to his wife.
    2. You give your life to Jesus – look for a bible believing church
    3. Share your story with the pastor and get ready to restitute…
    The bible says God’s mercy endureth forever – there’s still hope for you...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And to answer your question – please don’t marry this man. Having his child is bad enough, marrying him is going too far - nemesis could catch up with you. Imagine: you marry him, God forbid you lose the pregnancy, his business collapse, your marriage become a living hell, … the situation could be worse!

      Delete
  21. Please stop judging people. Yeah the girl has done something horrible and you need God's mercy but no one should judge abeg. For the poster....hmmmm Go and ask God for forgiveness. He hates home breakers and if the wife is a praying woman, mehn...it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of God! i pray God will open her womb and bless her with children. As for you, remember that Hagar never got the blessing. Sarah did. Good thing you say he used you as a tool to have a baby. My suggestion is do not marry a married man. have your baby. thats one sin enough. marrying him is sin 2. d and c sin 3. dont fasttrack your ticket to hell while you have God's mercy still available. move on, repent, severe ties with him. stop looking for an encouragement to do what is wrong cos am sure in your conscience you know the right thing!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jazmyn4/21/2013

    Bonario, Ace and Johnson, where are you guys? why are you suddenly silent? Chai African men, they are all the same #sigh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/21/2013

      LOL

      Delete
    2. Johnson4/22/2013

      I am wise enough to know when a woman needs an advice versus she just wants to be heard… In this situation, what can I say but hmmmm, okayyyy, is that soooo, wonderful,
      All the people involved in this saga (the lady, man, his wife, aunty, co-tenants,) acting out a well planned script that will end up in disaster!
      My young lady you:
      1. Should not marry this man, or any other married man (except if the wife is late)
      2. Have the baby – the child is innocent and should not suffer for your sins
      3.Get on your knees and beg Baba God for mercy – that’s if you come to accept the wrongs you have done
      Dear bloggers – I can appreciate the annoyance (even me dey vex!). In all, let us try to proffer solutions to the best of our understanding…

      Delete
  23. MizOsa4/21/2013

    Hmmmmmm dis babe sha. Its obvious u and ur so call aunt sleep with peoples husband 2 mak ur leaving.Smh. U want pity,u dnt want him 2 see u as a baby making machine.Biko can u hear urslf?Are u God?who tld u dat lady has a problem and can't gv birth?men and der lies.u can't afford a D n C yet u work and d man has been giving u money b4 now. I jst hate dis ur post. U are nt a good person. U better leave dat peaceful marriage cus u dnt belong der.dnt boder seeing d mans father.*Lie Lie gist*Am so angry..yeye geh.Ole husband.2nd wife dats how u girls go arround spoiling marriaages.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous4/21/2013

    If na movie b dis, abeg e no sweet. NEXT!! Mary

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi Aunty Eya, thank you for posting my story. I didn't know it'll turn out this way. The way those women are abusing me, only God knows I don't ask for their pity. I am in a dilemma and can even do something to myself because the confusion is too much in my head. Some women are ready to pour acid on me. Good thing they don't even know me. I have read and am still reading all their comments and I sure that most of them talking are not even better than me. Some of them condemning me are not the first wives of their husbands and just because I came to them for advise, they are heaping abuses instead. Thank you Aunty Eya, I wanted to know what other people will say. And if there is any one talking who is worse than me, may their wishes return back to sender.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/21/2013

      Lol. The wishes re returning bk to you. U wnt to reap where u did not sow. This blog is not d place to get such advice from. U want us to applaud you. Oya take am :-*.


      3 advice for u. born d pikin, give to the man, get paid nd flee. Lwkmd

      Delete
    2. Mrs Dayo4/21/2013

      See me see this yeye girl. Instead of being sorry for yourself you still sent Aunty Eya another mail? If I had a cane and can reach you I will flog that your yeye tommy.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous4/21/2013

      I swear,she isn't remorseful,dis1 don marry d man finish bt she go mit am 4 4rnt.

      Delete
    4. Abegi! Make we hear word! U dint come here when he started toasting you...you dint come when you felt pressure or 'pity' to date him... U dint come when you started sleeping with him... When you had enjoyed him very well and you got pregnant, that's when you remembered Aunty Eya. What do you expect WIVES to tell you about what you are doing to a fellow wife?

      Oya come make we cook better soup give you! Well done. Go ahead and marry him. Get pregnant again. Move into his house. Dnt accept any apartment. Tell the wife to shift for you on their bed. Mscheeuw!

      Delete
    5. Anonymous4/22/2013

      Nwa bu ezigbo Idiot a zuro ya azu chacha........can U imagine????
      Anyway no b today U begin do akwuna work!!!!!!

      Delete
  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  27. He who is without sin should cast the first stone...

    Life is not 1+1=2, life can come to you in any shade so stop acting as if it's inhuman to make a mistake, many of the fast fingers here have probably done crazy things somehow, it might not be necessarily what she has done...

    Have you all come across the story of Abraham and Hagar, David and Bethseba, Solomon and even mohammed; they are all men of God ooooo!

    But for Nigerians, why is it that all we love to dois accuse others while claiming to be perfect?

    MY ADVICE.... My dear sister, like those examples above I took from the holy books, they all married the men involved, "MARRY HIM" you've committed no harm or sin besides the fact that you did it outa wed luck, pray and be somber to recompense.

    Nuff!
    Bye

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/22/2013

      This ignorance is a disease o! Abraham did not marry Hagar! He f* her and she got preg. As was d practice those days, the wife can tell d maid to go in with her husband! Abraham did, and u didt finish it, the child of promise didt come from her, she was sent away with her child. David committed adultery with Bathsheba. Didt u read d part of prophet Nathan's prophesy???? What happened to that child??? What did David do afterwards???? King Solomon was David and Bathsheba 's son, God has mercy on whom He wants to have mercy on! David became a man after God's own heart, God blessing his descendants. I dnt know abt the last person u mentioned. Pls oga read ur bible well before uttering rubbish! Why I'm I even replying u sef? U have a sister dnt u? Karma is a bitch!

      Delete
    2. Mrs Anon3/22/2014

      Hiannnn.... Ace ! Which kind advice be dis??? What is her future with somebody's husband? If it was your sister that was the man's wife would you tell her to marry him?? After sleeping with someone's husband and getting pregnant?? How much pain do u want that woman to bear please... David married bathsheba only because the husband was dead. Abraham sent away the "bondwoman" Hagar as God instructed. Stop misquoting the Bible biko.

      Delete
  28. Mr. Ace, pls dont be a cause of obstruction in somebody's life o. dont lead her to calamity in life and beyond. your advice no follow at all sir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leave @ Ace to continue to turn the bible upside down to suit his myopic thinking.

      Delete
  29. Anonymous4/22/2013

    Mr Ace,pls dnt preach what u don't kw o,biko,n 4 u iyawo wanna be,ur problem is waiting 4 u @ d front

    ReplyDelete
  30. I feel terrible. I can't even leave a comment. What if we advised this lady like you would advise a younger sister.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/22/2013

      Eya drop ur own advise as her mother too....

      Delete
  31. When we see a man trying to jump from a 10 storey building, do we try our possible best to save a life OR help push him down because he wanted to take his life?

    ReplyDelete
  32. When I read this ur sorry ass story,I so knew u weren't feeling bad about what u did! U're pathetic girl! Oya,marry him now! No be wetin u wan hear be that? See,later in life,people will start running around for deliverance cos curse is on dr head as dr mum broke a home,or u never see? Just cos of ur selfishness and not thinking about d future of ur unborn child.

    If u marry that man,which mouth u wan take pray to God over that child without ur conscience pricking u? People ve been kind enough to advice u. Do what u will! Yeye dey smell!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous4/22/2013

    The fact is,the deed has been done,it's d solution that mata's right now,my uncle didn't ve a child 4 close 2 13yrs,he had children outside wedlock,he even adopted,but that adopted child wasn't treated as a normal child until his wife gave birth,wen his wife gave birth,d naming ceremony was like a trad marriage ceremony,in essense I will advise u e ve ur baby,don't drop ur baby 4 his wife not mata how remorseful u are,cuz she'll neva take care of ur child d way u would unless she's extra o-ordinarily nice,God will provide if u humbly seek his face

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous4/22/2013

    Poster what did you have in mind when you came to a WIVES blog for advice? But you all that are insulting her should remember that no one is witout sin.. I just pray u ask God 4 forgiveness and do what's right.. Stop evry contact with the man and don't break up a marriage...I sunderstand that most of us on this blog are wives and we will be so sentimental about this story that our sense of reasoning will be clouded to give her any form of meaningful advice.. Even Ahdaisy got so sentimental she just had to insult her.. Please we are all humans and are bound to make mistakes. Let's try not to judge... Poster raise ur child as a single mom and leave that man and his family alone.. God is not a man, if you repent HE will not condemn you but wipe ur slate and give you a new life...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah! No use Ah Daisy as example o. I used to looooove her comments on this blog and I even read her "diary f a pleasant heart" until that fight with sting. It brought out another side of her that we have never seen. I then checked her google plus and that was when I saw her true colours. There's a photo where there are many comments. See how she insults Muslims just because one man was rude to her. As a christian, I was so embarrassed. My heart was broken. I really didn't expect that from a fellow sister in christ especially one like ahdaisy who comes accross as a beautiful soul. So yeah, I don't think Ahdaisy is a saint like people on this blog say she is. She's actually human and can get spiteful like all of us.

      Delete
  35. Hmmmmm this is really pathetic. I'm sure uve learnt ur lesson with all these plenty insults u've recieved. If ure really remorseful, as u said u are, u must demand to see the man's wife and ask for her forgiveness, and afterwards,have d child and disappear from their lives.Being a single mum isnt easy. According to u, ure broke! Hw are u gonna raise a child? .. U must agree with him dt woteva ure doing about dat baby must be done in d open! In d open meaning his wife must knw! No secrecy... In secrecy, thrives evil. This is d only way ur conscience would be clear and u'd also have GOd's mercy. Tell him this and stand by ur words. Tkr of u :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. @all, I stand firm on my points, won't be shaken... You all can place an advert on all form of media to bar any woman from marrying me, Nka gbasara gi ooo.

    Atleast sarah gave hagar to her husband can any of you try that owing to the circumstance? Never! That didn't happen in Sangoville, it happened in the bible.

    The 1st child between David & Bethseba was taken away by God becos David killed Uriah and coveted his wife, My Question, has this girl and the said man done that much?

    Lastly, Solomon and Mohammed, 2 men of God had so many wives and was documented by 2 different holy books so what's the hecking fuss about this story that you all just wanna crucify the poor girl. For the lady that spoke of karma & ma sister, do you wanna tell me that ur family is so holy that no 1 can be found making such mistakes as this lady?

    Pls sister, Mary him GOOD, Hold him tight and never leave him a second.

    Nuff'Said
    Good Mornin blog'fam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ace u have succeed in confusing me ooo so the Bible now encourages polygamy?

      Delete
  37. Anonymous4/22/2013

    U have always lived off rich men from ur story, U earn a living, this guy was also helping U financially, U no dey pay rent so apparently U v bn living very much above ur means.
    With ur very bad mouth, its obviois U wanted ds, abi U can eat ur cake n e go still remain for plate?

    ReplyDelete
  38. In my point of view the deed has already been done and there really is no use crying over spilled milk. The first mistake you made was to have sex with a married man, now ur pregnant! I guess u really have just 2 options, you can go ahead and live a lie by being a secret second wife like ur man friend wants to do just to get his baby. Or on the other hand you can come clean to his present wife and face whatever consequence this may bring cos after all you brought this on yourself. As a woman i think you should try to put yourself in his wife's shoes and come clean to everyone. Before you make your decision consider the fact that you will have to live with it for the rest of ur life and also have to account to God in the end. I judge you not cos we all make mistakes but I sincerely pray you make the right decision.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I was wondering if you could forward this message for me to the OP of that post from last night. I would leave a comment on your blog but I am not sure if she will see it seeing as the topic has changed, the responses have been quite underwhelming to read. Also your readers can be quite aggressive/ passionate :)

    Dear OP,
    I don't have much advice or help to offer, but I am also not judging you. I has already happened, I wanted to tell you that if you dont want the baby maybe you should have it, I don't care what religion says bringing a child into this world that you don't want/love and seeing that child everyday reminding you of the mistake you made ... you may end up resenting that baby or yourself. you know how we can spread rumours and hold grudges in Naija.

    I'm saying this because my father did not want me, took him 8 years to finally abandon me but he did and he tells me now that he has never been happier. I don't hate him (a lot), I thank God for his intervention because I am so much better off.

    Since you said you "don't want to be is baby making machine" have you considered giving the baby up for adoption? Finding a family/ parent that needs a child cant be that hard in Nigeria. You have also mentioned that you can live within your means you don't really need to depend on the man. May be disappear for a while, moving with a colleague from your job while you have the baby. I don't think you want your child living with your mistakes and I believe you will eventually want to settle down at some point with someone, you don't want what you did to that man's wife to come and haunt you. May be this is a way to "absolve" everyone?

    May be for the baby's sake you can make this big sacrifice of giving him/her up? I am sorry this message is all over the place, I hope you find something useful from all the nonsense I have said.

    Best wishes
    Oluchi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs Anon3/22/2014

      Oluchi u haven't said nonsense. But do you really think that man is ready to give up the child that is finally proof his "manhood"??? I think the answer is lai lai.

      Delete
  40. Mzfash4/22/2013

    Good morning Aunty Eya, this lady in question already knows what she
    wants to do o, virtually every good looking single lady has one
    married man or the other pursuing are, I wrote a course 4 times
    because I refused to date my lecturer when I was in school,at the end
    of the day he let me oFf the hook after lots of prayer and fasting,I
    am a Corper serving in ... and pls I dnt wanna
    mention names of married men that are ready to be at my beck and call
    if I allow them but I will never do that because I believe that if I
    date them,when I get married too,my husband will also date a girl much
    younger and I will then feel the kind of pain their wives will feel if
    I date them. I can say it to her face that she is a greedy human
    being,saying she dated this man out of pity is a big lie#mtcheeeeeew#
    that man just want her to be a baby making factory for him and his
    wife. If he gives are #100,he would have given his wife 1m, Because it
    is so obvious that he loves and has the fear of his wife at heart.
    When I was in school,my friend also dated married men,now she is
    married,am scared for her and I put are in my prayer. SINGLE LADIES BE
    CONTENTED WITH WHAT YOU HAVE AND SAY NO TO MARRIED MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!.
    Have a splendid week my big aunties and mummies.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous4/22/2013

    I really pray this goes bc my internet has bn misbehaving.
    1. I won't lash out @ U, u v gotten enough of it.
    2. Marriage is a scared institution and shld be monogamous.
    3. Apart from money, why else do U want to be wt this man.
    4. Abortion to me has always bn a no-go area 4 me. Think of all the childless couple.
    5. What to do? Why don't u meet the man's father and tell him that u don't want to marry the man (his son).
    6. Also meet the wife, ask her forgiveness (pls be really repentant) and beg her if she wld take ur child as her own. If she wld, pls hand over the child after birth to her. It's same as having ur child adopted.
    7. To make amends, can u really promise urself and God that u wld steer clear of married men and of pre-marital sex. Enter a covenant wt God and he will bless U wt ur heart desire.
    8. If the house u staying in and its occupants isn't adding anytg good to ur life, pls move to self-contained and maintain ur sanity. I don't like the idea of single ladies and single mother cohabiting. We tend to be low on morals sth if there is no one to guard or caution us.
    9. Ur aunt(y) or sister is a bad adviser and person too. Bc she knew(supposedly) when all the hanging out was happening. And she did nothing to stop it. My assumptions.

    Hope my lil advise helps
    Luchi

    ReplyDelete
  42. Anonymous4/22/2013

    Oya let's B real here if U re a lady N all tru Ur life U neva slept wit a Man for one favour or d other or add something to do with a married Man pls raise ur Hand, see U re wrong as in Totally wrong but if u were my sis I won't murder U, move to D house, NO abortion, Don't give ur baby away pls don't, Don't marry him 2 just take kia of ur child till u find ur own MAN, good LUCK. Tokunbo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs Anon3/22/2014

      Enhh?? My two hands are raised pls. Can someone borrow me extra hand pls?? I NEVER did and I have sisters and plenty friends who NEVER did my dear. And btw we were managing in school too so say something else pls.

      Delete
  43. Anonymous4/23/2013

    OMG!!! see insults!!!!
    While i am not in support of what dis poster did...i dont think we have any right to crucify her like this.yes..we can point to her the many mistakes she made..not everyone is perfect...even those who are saying they have never dated married men...i am sure too, will have other areas they too have fallen short of.
    To the poster...NEVER give up ur baby as nobody is sentimental enof to take care of your child than u.let this man give u enough mony to rent a place by yourself and then cut urself off.if he wants to be involved ..u dont have to see him..let him put a fixed amt into ur acct for the child s upkeep if he wants.raise ur baby and pray for ur own man. you must not be responsible for dividing a home .

    ReplyDelete
  44. God, dis insult is 2much, God said do not judge anyone, d lady asked 4 an advive and if all u insulters and judges can't advice her den don't comment cos u guys are just making urselves look like kids.
    Imagine if ur sister had come to u askin u 4 help privately, will u insult her? No! We all ve our own dark secrets.
    My advice 4 d lady:
    (1)Pray to God for forgiveness and fast for three days askin God to reveal to u if he is ur destined husband or not.
    (2) And if he is, tell him to fix a date 4 u to meet his wife and ask 4 forgiveness from her and who knows mayb she can just get preg tru dis.
    (3) If he is not urs, have d baby, don't marry d man bt he shud always be der for his kid and take care of u guys and always pray to God to send ur own man to u.
    NB: all things happens for a reason and God knows y dey happen. Lady prayer is very important pls, may God help and see u tru.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs Anon3/22/2014

      Pls which of the God is she to pray to ask if a married man, anoda womans HUSBAND is hers abeg? Hope not God of the Bible, Almighty Jehovah?? Wonders shall never cease... Wo I don tire Sef, Poster u know what you've done wrong and you also know what to do amend your ways from all the advice here, I don't judge you. the choice is yours to make and u live with the consequences, finish.

      Delete
    2. Mary ojeifo.I won't be surprised if you are the same poster aunts that encourage her into these mess.Just remember that what goes around,comes around.As for you poster,I hate ladies that sleep with married men for whatever reason.I'm not yet married,but I kept on praying that may God almighty never allowed me to face situation that will make me cheat on my future wife,is very bad thing to do.My dad cheat on my mum when i was growing up,and i saw the pains and agony my mum went through and i promised my God and myself that I will not cheat on my future wife.

      Delete
  45. Anonymous5/18/2015

    Anyone can make a mistake . Some men are greedy users. It's his fault! MEN ARE THE HEAD AR NY THEY?😆 lonelness and pity is a disease people always looking for a cure. Nigerian law daddy's baby mommy's maybe . Give him the baby and tell him to kick rocks !

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Click on the pictures to make them bigger.
Feel free to email us with comments, suggestions, recipe ideas, or pretty much anything!
Contact Email: cuulme@gmail.com

Most comments are by other blog readers. Always seek Professional Help First.
“As an Amazon Associate I earn a little commission when you shop from links placed on this blog.”

SHARE THIS POST

RELATED

SHOP HERE