I Need Advise On How To Bring My Wife Back To Our Bedroom

Good day Eya,
I am a follower of your blog, I fell in love with the level of intelligence on your blog. People give advise like they are talking to family members. I agree you have intelligent bloggers on that blog and want to use this opportunity to learn from their advise.

I have been married to my beautiful wife for 7 years, we have gotten so used to each other that
we sometimes live like siblings. That spark is still there but the Romantic nature? I'm not sure. My kids love to struggle our bedroom with their mom, in the past, she lets them sleep in our bedroom, when they fall asleep, they are taken to their rooms. 

However, recently I noticed all that has changed. She started enjoying sleeping in her room a lot. She stopped taking the sleeping kids to their room and would rather go sleep in her room and tell me the following day that she sleeps better and more comfortably in her room. 

 She is not in a hurry to stop this habit and the kids are not in a hurry to leave my room alone. What can I do to make her interested in my room again? 
When I complain, she tells me to come sleep in her room instead. I am so used to my bed, I can't sleep well in her room. I know my late night television watching disturbs her sleep but I am not good sleeper and as such use those awake moments to watch my Man U matches or some Breaking  News. 

I can't even watch in the sitting room at night because I have to lie down comfortably, watch and put myself to sleep.  Now I need her to show interest in our room again. Her attitude is making me feel old. Please people, what do you advise me do?


  1. hehehehehehe am sorry,but couldn't help but laugh.
    av heard of occupy Wall Street,occupy Tahir square,occupy Nigeria. av never heard of occupy Matrimonial bed.
    abi Ahdaisy this one needs prayer? anyway married people over to u.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    1. Lol...prayer ke? No oh! Dis is a very very simple matter. COMPROMISE!

      Separate bedrooms is a no no. It's better to have a gigantic matrimonial bed than have separate bedrooms. For all the years I've known my parents, they never slept apart. Except one of them was not around.

      So Sir, either ditch the late night television or enjoy your sofa, or buy a small mattress that you can carry with you to the sitting room. Or you enjoy her room. Your wife must need sleep so bad that she left your room. Pity her.

      Or take over some of her chores so that she can sleep during the day and stay up late with you. :-) :-) :-)

    2. Anonymous4/27/2013

      I don't blame the man's wife o. All my life I enjoyed sleeping alone till I got married nw my hubby won't lemme sleep in the guest room n our bed is not big enuf fo me to roll over like I want thereby making me perch in one angle till morning and aching all over and in addition, he snores so much I have to slap him like 10 times bf I fall asleep. Mayb his wife is like me that enjoys her bed space sometimes. Either way mr anony, go to her room, twont hurt u to

    3. Anonymous4/27/2013

      I think she didn't want to compete with your football and quietly moved out to avoid disagreements. Had that issue with my hubby too who is so in love with his matches. I would advice to totally remove the TV from the room cos you might be tempted to watch highlights and end up watching a whole season.

  2. Queen Bee4/27/2013

    First of all,everyone having his/her room was the beginning of the problem,it only leads to such things,well of course except its a polygamous home.
    Now all u need to do is to try lure her afresh(as in ur dating days),and make the room less noisy and more condusive for her.cos u pple have gently turned ur room to kids room,so the kids too should be taught How to sleep in their rooms and respect others' privacy(they are growing so they need to understand that.)
    Then encourage every private discussion in that room so she could get used to it.

    1. Anonymous10/28/2014

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  3. Anonymous4/27/2013

    I believe you should ask her why she no longer likes the room if itd domething you can change then you change to get her back but wait for the married to come tell you their own.funny story anyway

  4. Anonymous4/27/2013

    Eya n see me,if TV isn't on too I can't sleep,guess your wife isn't like dat,u av 2compromise.reduce the noise,send the kids back 2deir room.give her space in d room,she shud av her own corner.den 1ce in while surprise her with kinky stuffs in d bedroom.

  5. For starters:
    1) couples having different bedrooms is something i dont subscribe to. if there is an arguments it could take longer for it to be resolved because each person would retire to their rooms at the end of the day,
    2) she enjoys sleeping in her room and u enjoy ur bed too. no one is ready to compromise. in marriage you should be ready to dialogue, compromise and show understanding. you two should be ready to meet mid-way.
    3) the kids HAVE to sleep in their room. keep taking them to their room when they sleep in mummy's room till they get the message. you can only achieve this if you and your wife are ready to work together.

    Have a word with your wife, tell her how u feel about both of u sleeping in different bedrooms. u can alternate who sleeps in whose room. maybe 3 nights in your room and 3 nights in her room.

    All the best!

  6. Johnson4/27/2013

    My understanding of separate rooms for mummy and daddy is to give enough room for the woman to hang her cloths and display her shoes… separate room should not be allowed to turn to separate beds – this is error number 1. The only time you sleep separately is when the wife is nursing and the mother in-law is around for omuguo. Even then, you look for opportunity for a ‘quick one’.
    Na for only Naija I see parents not allowing the children to sleep in the children’s room. We tend to let them get use to sleeping in mummy/daddy’s room and later carried to their room. This is error number 2. When we realize our mistake, mummy goes to the children’s room and tries to put them to sleep before retiring back to her room -in your case mummy got use to sleeping there and you allowed her. Error number 3! Seems you were comfortable with it initially, and then it became the norm…
    How do we remedy this situation?
    1. Stop your Man U match watching in the room. I perceive mummy is not into football. The TV in the room is meant for programs that mummy and daddy enjoy watching together. Imagine your children having different interest on TV and one of them decides to monopolize the TV – the other one will either just sleep away or simply leave the room.
    2. Let madam know you’re missing her in the room… You need to sound convincing cos I imagine how on earth you could allow your wife to sleep on a separate bed for some time and you were able to sleep comfortably! When she comes back, make sure body dey touch body when sleeping; it creates better bonding.
    3. Make sure you only watch TV programs she enjoys at night in the room. Might be the punishment for ‘chasing’ her out with the football watching – watch your football in the sitting room and try not to stay there late.
    However, I am sure you know that love making for a woman starts way before bedtime… Start teasing her able how sexy she looks before you get into the room. A little touching here and there to spice up the night… Make her desire you (remember women are like electric cooker that take pretty long time to heat up). Turn the electric heater knob on earlier in the day!
    It is a dangerous thing to allow the fire to go down – you need to act immediately!

  7. Anonymous4/27/2013

    I enjoy sleeping in my room too. Can't sleep if being held and cuddled.

    1. Anonymous4/27/2013

      Hahaha, my hubby can snore o, me, I sleep better and comfortably in the sitting room.

  8. kendra4/27/2013


    1.The number one error was having seperate room which shouldn't be allowed in the marriage... There should be parents room,kids room and guest room(s) not daddy's room,mommy's room,kids room and guest room(s)

    2. Its best to put children to bed in there rooms instead of ur own room.. That's why its good to have bed time for the kids,so that once its that time,u take all of them to there room and do ur family prayer if u do that,put them to bed either by. Reading there fav. Stories,sing songs for them or whatever it is u do to make them sleep.. That way,no one comes to disturb monmy and daddy in there room cos they would be fast asleep

    So now,what u have to do is sit down with wifey and talk to her.. Tell her how much u miss her in the room and how u want her back to the room..

    Give up the watching of footballs in the room unless she's fast asleep but u have to mute it,thankGod football is something u can understand and even enjoy with or without volume

    Kids should be put to bed in there rooms. And lastly,finf the spark again in ur relationship.. Its good when couples feel like they ve gotten to the stage where they are brothers and sisters but don't loose the. Spark,that's where the problem is.. Look for nice things to do,surprise her,take her breath away,woo her again and all

  9. chikoko4/27/2013

    Johnson I love ur comment,u ve said it all

  10. Anonymous4/27/2013

    Typing 4rm ma room rite now coz am angry with ma huby truth is ma room is just for ma Huge ward rope not for sleeping,m I can't imagine sleeping without ma huzy s warmth.

  11. The only way to bring her back is to tell her you want her back...

    If she raises objection(s), try to know why if you can compromise smfin to brin ger back or she's the one who needs to compromise.

    Just face it head on. No two ways, no tactics, just the plain man and wife convo!

  12. Anonymous4/27/2013

    Me I enjoy sleeping on d bed alone, I don't lik anybody on d bed with me while am asleep. Hubby don ccomplain tire! When he comes into d room, I spread my mattress on d floor n leave d bed for him!
    Am so use to sleeping alone dat if anybody sits on my bed while assleep, I wake up immediately! Don't know wat to do o! Cos its becoming an issue but I can't help it!

    Mr poster since ur wife use to sleep in ur room den u can still cconvince her to comee back. Rem, no football!!

  13. Anonymous4/28/2013

    Sir,try to compromise .please gett that Tv out of your bedroom asap(it affecting the romance in ur marriage).show her how much you are willing to giv up ...wld it be easy ?no but please try.your marriage is worth this.talk to her abt it as well ...look for other ways to fall asleep#all the best#

  14. Johnson has said it all!

    1. Anonymous4/28/2013

      Johnson has highlighted very salient points that would address this situation.

  15. your post is just all about 'I,I,I' all the way.you are only thinking about yourself,highly self centered.Proly you dont compromise,its all about what you want and like,highly autocratic.I sense she most times doesnt have a say in d house.She's using this one to get back at you.Oga @ d top,bend a little.


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