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I Need Advice Please: Just Gained Admission, Two Months Pregnant

 Good day aunty eya and other bloggers, thanks for this opportunity of sharing thoughts and problems. Please,I'll love to leave my identity hidden. 

I'm 24years old girl.let me start by saying I'm supposed to be a graduate by now cos I gained my first admission in 2007 but
I dropped out in my third year in the uni due to some challenges that led to a low academic performance. My dad was really disappointed because he loves education so much,he didn't talk to me for about four months and I understand his pain.

Recently,I just gained admission into a polytechnic,tho' going to a polytechnic is not my choice,I just had to go to school cos I'm tired of staying at home without doing anything since I left uni in 2010. 

However the main problem here is I discovered yesterday that I'm 7wks1day pregnant for my bf.he is 35yrs old and very caring.he however begged me not to abort as he is ready to settle down.I'm sorry for my long story please.I have done abortion in the past but not for him,the last one I did,I bled for 5wks non stop.

the problem is I don't know how to face my parents and tell them I'm pregnant,I don't want to go for abortion as I am scared of complications that could arise from it.my bf said he can come meet my mum to explain things to her but I feel that's quite rude.how do I go about it? Please help.I need urgent advice...

Comments

  1. My dear u're really too young to be feeling this old.
    Who said u can't pursue ur education being pregnant,u've played so much Ludo with ur life that u can't afford to do so again,so even if he said nada,where u planning to snuff life out the holy innocent again?
    Better late than never,try secure ur future by going to school and tell him to come and meet ur parents as soon as possible.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    1. best comment ever. Babe, you can still go to school and be pregnant. I know it's hard but you can. Don't let the pregnancy be an excuse of ur non-progression. And I also feel you need to adjust urself when it comes to life and the decisions u make.

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  2. U shd first of all tell ur mum abt the situation of things,let her see reasons wit u that u hav decided to b responsible that's why u both want to do d right thing by keeping d pregnancy and get married. She will help u relay d message to ur dad. Or u can go directly to ur dad n tell him. U b d judge of that. I know ur parents 1st reaction wld b of disappointmnt n anger, but trust me it will all die down. And u can all sit n plan ur wedding. U must however continue wit ur education. I do hope ur bf is working though.

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  3. Anonymous4/30/2013

    35yrs,hmmm I hope he's single o.lol,ok my dear pls dnt drop out o,it won't b easy goin2schl with belle bt u nid 2do sumthin with ur life.call ur mum early in d morning(its wat I did) n confess 2her den she wud know how2break the news2ur father.afta dat ur boo can go c dem,u re nt too young 2marry,u can @least do traditional n church blessing bt u shud know 4rm der on ur education is ur hubby's responsibility.

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  4. Anonymous4/30/2013

    Where is Ahdaisy naa? I haven't seen her today. Daizy hope u r Ok?

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  6. Anonymous4/30/2013

    Eya,
    I stumbled on this blog last week and hardly does a day pass without my visiting it.please my people i need your sincere advice.I met the father of my children {3} of them in 1996 as a student in school, while he too was leaving for his youth service.We started a relation and i got pregnant in 2001 and wanted to terminate the pregnancy but he would not allow me and so he went straight to tell my parents.Thinking that this man will pay the Bride price.He has always come up with promises every year that he will,but has financial constrain.I had to make us go to the registry in 2004 when i was pregnant for my second child and my organization wanted me a have a change of name, in order not to loose my job i sponsored everything cos he was not having money. We lived together with the hope that things would work out fine some day even when he hadn't money. He was staying in what was more like a three rooms apartment not a flat.With my hard work, prayers and dedication, i got a job and later got a better job and i felt i have to change the status of the family, with his consent i rented a three bedroom flat all en suit,it became a family topic cos he was not willing to assist with the rent and as such denied i never carried him along.he was back to his face me i face you apartment for two years while i paid the rent for fours years alone,i furnished the house and bought all that a family would need to leave comfortably all for the sake of the children.I tell u this he has not bought even a transistor radio since he came to Lagos.I received abuses that would have made me leave my places of work but i never did cos of the kids, whereas he could not work in any organization for three months, always having issues with his bosses and does not keep to work ethics.To cut matters short,ever since i met him, i have paid the rent even before i move house,i pay the school fees till date,do the fueling of the generators, my car all alone even if he drives in it,all the bills in the house i pick them all.If he spends in a month, it has never been up to ten thousand, deliberately he comes with excuses and always complain he is hustling.I work in a corporate organization,even when i try to let him understand how to package his materials for presentation he would argue and argue and he is very clumsy.Recently he packed out of the house saying the house expenses was much even when i pick all the monthly bills only because my mum advised him to be supportive, as such he wasn't comfortable with her presence in the house.He visits the house when he feels like and does not give money for the children up keep.Ever since i met this man he has not spent more than two thousand of his own money on me and i have been dependent on what i can do for myself.Before now i have told him about landed property so we can start building our own place but he was never financially ready he never has money even when he lives alone and does nothing for the family.I had told him recently that i was collecting some amount from my office to be deducted from my monthly salary to enable us acquire a land and that he should try and get some money too.but he promised to support in two months time but insisted to know whose name would be on the papers.with all i do he never believes i can be broke as a salary earner.I have told him several times that he is pushing me to want to do what i would not want to do as he is not supportive financially, materially, emotionally.With all this burden and pains i am sharing this today for the first time.People i am tied of this man who has turned me into a man while i take all step to make the family succeed.

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    Replies
    1. Pack your bags and leave. I won't even go into why I think you brought all this on yourself. I'm sure you SAW all these signs in the beginning, yet chose to ignore them. This man clearly does not make you happy. Please leave and focus on your kids. Nothing will change him clearly, not even his own parents.

      Having said that, if there's one thing I've learnt from this blog, it is to never compromise on whom I choose to go into a relationship with. I have my own issues myself, d least I want is to be handling someone else's. If he doesn't make me happy in general despite his flaws, NO THANK YOU!

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    2. Anonymous4/30/2013

      One word! There is something intrinsically wrong when d woman is d sole giver and provider in the home! 1 Timothy 5:8. That man is worse than an infidel! Olaedo

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    3. Anonymous4/30/2013

      May d'LORD lead u out of this storm

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    4. Change your locks and prepare to file for divorce. If you have plans to do anything like buying land, do it alone. The relationship you have with him is parasitic, get rid of the parasite fast.

      However, if you are a christian, remember the bible says not to remarry after divorce until the other party dies.

      I have told you what I would do anyways. The Lord is your strength.

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    5. I don't pity u one bit!all this wahala was brought on by u!
      The foundation for ur 'marriage' was soo wrong &u kept on doing the wrong things over and over again!
      Women pls let's keep our legs closed till marriage!if u get pregnant &hurriedly maRry,just know that u have slashed ur self worth by half!and marrying because of pregnancy never guaranteed a succesful marriage,pls check the stats!
      It obvious the guy doesn't wanna be married,he isn't matured spiritually,emotionally &mentally to be a responsible father and husband.
      Biko he hasn't even paid ur bride price &u were staying with him?as a what?as a common law girlfriend prior to 2004!so it was a situation that compelled u to at least do things 'right'.
      And with this behaviour of his,u kept popping babies for him?are u a baby making machine?u are very selfish!how could u even think abt rearing children in this hostile environment?
      Peeps need to realize that children must be born in the most conducive environment as much as possible!its a huge responsibility bcos training them to b responsible &responsive citizens in society behoves on the parents!
      What kinda message are u giving to ur kids?I'm soo upset!all these pple breed dysfuctional kids for society.
      And yes u are emotionally/financially abused and u are in turn abusing ur kids!
      I talk my own finish!

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    6. Anonymous5/21/2013

      this is too much. to the did as been done we do not need to crucify her all she needs now is for us to suggest and pray for solution guidance on her behalf not to condemn her that some of us didn't go through this, does not mean we are better than her it was just by HIS Grace that was sufficient for us could have happened to anyone

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  8. Anonymous4/30/2013

    go to the ttc (trying to concieve) thread on nairaland, then come back and ask

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  10. felicia4/30/2013

    Well said my sister, as if u read my mind. Woman abeg search urself and u'll see its all ur fault. The brother no wickedness no be new tin, u see am b4 u enter. Next story pls.

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  11. It is clear he won't change so y bother with him. Y does a man keep packing out as he pleases anytime he is not happy with anything, dat indeed is not a man. There is nothing wrong wit a woman beig d breadwinner however if d man doesn't make an effort to contribute financially and emotionally as d head of his home then his wife n kids will get tired and soon start to disrespect him. I feel he is very relaxed now n has dat confidence dat his wife will sort out the family finances n bills, he has also become very lazy and spoilt that he can't keep a job or look for flimsy excuses to quit a job. I'll advise to u stop having babies n look after the 3 you have, as for ur hubby seat him down, explain things to him and specify how long u are giving him to see changes if not please end it. God forbid but I can assure u dat if u lose ur job and can't pick up d bills anymore ur man will leave n never return until u are financially capable again, so tell me wat d use of such man is?

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    1. Anonymous4/30/2013

      "There is nothing wrong wit a woman beig d breadwinner ".... Everything is done! Check previous reply!!!!! A man is designed to b d provider, thou a woman complements him!! That is a foundational prob!m

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    2. Anonymous4/30/2013

      Typo * everything is wrong!

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    3. Anonymous4/30/2013

      oh! really? nothing wrong with a woman being the bread winner? please and please, the man is the head and he should be the BREAD WINNER, the woman is only an HELP MATE. being a help mate means the woman assists the man not that she takes over the responsibility of the man.

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  12. Pregnant anon, if u love urself please do not abort. God has given u many chances already wit d previous abortions, u might not be so lucky if u attempt it again.
    Accept that offer to poly and I'm sure u'll come accross preggy ladies studing there as well. As for ur bf is he ready to sponsor ur education? Like someone already mentioned u can do trad wedding n registry but don't force him, let it come naturally from him becoz he loves u n wants to spend d rest of his life with u. Seat down and discuss all this with him and seriously pray about this and direction from God on wat to do.

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  13. Dear, you need to go ahead with school and the pregnancy, do not abort, do not halt your education again. You can buy a ring to shut pple up if you need to. And as for your boyfriend, let him meet your parents but don't rush into marriage because you are pregant.

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  14. Anonymous5/01/2013

    If u are not married wat are u doing with pregnancy ????
    Young girls should learn to respect themselves jare!
    At 24 u have so many baggaages !
    God will help U, just pray that the Man love as u said not d baby u are carrying! For ur sake,make sure u continue ur education!

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  15. Anonymous5/01/2013

    Dear, pls n pls dont tamper with d pregnancy, Jesus loves u. But can u really cope wth it while in sch? 'cos' it neva easy. When i was in unvrsty, some ladies got pregnt but not all came back wth their babies, reason d stress! Am not trying to scare u, just concentrate on ur baby 4 now pls. Will suggest dat u have ur baby first n let ur wud be hubby assist u wth part- time programme or betterstill, wait 4anothr admisson. Schools will always be open 4 students not same can be said 4 pregnancy!
    EIS.

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  16. Anonymous5/01/2013

    Thank you all for your advice. I don't plan to drop out of school.I'll leave d pregnancy and face the consequence.God bless you all

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/21/2013

      my dearest i congratulate you for wearing the courage gown that no matter what, how and when you will go thru this cos am sure you will share your testimonies of courage and determination see you at the top. Always remember even in the time of storms that God loves you

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  17. Dear Poster, please let's know the outcome, thanks!

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  18. Hi everyone ,pls i need ur advise,have neva being pregnant and since d last 6 yrs av been@ home now d@ i just gained admission i became pregnant by mistake cs it has happened b4 i discovered d guy was on a bet to get me, pls help me i cant bear to face my parents with this,my mum would surely go into comma

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