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How Do I Overcome This Crushy Feeling?


Dear Aunty Eya.
Please I need your advise. My friend and her boyfriend had a misunderstanding, I stood in as their mediator and tried to make things work out
but it didn't work out. Although he is a good man, He tried his best to make her come back but she said she was OK with that relationship. When I saw that she was getting involved with another, I stopped mediation. 

During that period of talking with them back and forth, I developed a crush for him but kept it to myself. I  didn't know that he too developed some feelings for me but tried to fight it off. Right now, my friend is happily married and pregnant. 

My own boyfriend cheated in December and when I found out we broke up and he just continued with the other babe. The thing is, this my friend's ex came straight with a proposal. According to him, he didn't need to study me because during all that period he dated my friend and we were all close, that he already knows me. That he's tried in two years to fight that feeling off and it won't go. 

I know that it's wrong to date my friend's ex, but how do I fight this crush I already have on him? I sincerely want to do anything possible to overcome this feeling. The only time I feel happy is when I see him even though I pretend about it. Whenever I hear his voice asking the meguard if I'm in. I begin to like kind of shiver, my voice changes uncontrollably. I'm trying my best to hide my feelings. He wants to take me to meet his family and to come meet mine but I haven't accepted his proposal. My whole being wants him but I know it's wrong. How can I control this feeling please. I pray everyday about this. May God not let me fall into temptations.

Please honourable people on this blog, kindly help me with tips on how to kill a crazy crushy feeling. I need advice please. Help me.

Comments

  1. Aunty Eya, pls give me the link on how to make icecream @ home. Tnx.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/28/2013

      This comment made me laugh. I know it's not that funny but straight after reading this desperate call for help, you're asking for a recipe on ice cream. LOL! Sorry, I just had to put it out there. :)

      If you look on the right hand side of this blog, you'll see a search box called "Search This Blog". Type in ice cream, then click "search" and different recipes for ice cream that were put up on this blog will be there. It depends on what flavour you want. Hope this helps.

      Delete
    2. If you are using a mobile phone, you can check this link: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2013/03/pictorials-part-2-more-banana-and.html
      And THis one for vanilla and chocolatey and others: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2013/03/pictorials-part-2-more-banana-and.html

      Delete
  2. Anonymous4/28/2013

    BABE marry Him, good luck.

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  3. Go for him... He's ur man.

    Ur ex has moved on, his ex (ur friend) has also moved on. So what's the fuse?

    Plz follow up on him, show him you love him.

    Stop living by the affirmation of others, don't live by trying to satisfy others, getting approval from others before we live our life or just thinking what will she or they say is old-school.

    Have fun!

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  4. I don't get dear,if thats wrong then tell me whats right.
    Your whole being longs for him and u trying to suppress it. Good thing his ex has movedon,so home and dry.
    Am sure what u looking for is the mandate,u need to makeup your mind. Now u av the mandate,if u feel he's what u need in a husband,boo take him to your parents before another mediator comes.lolz
    I love this kind of stories,he wants to propose but I don't know on which finger he'll put d ring.
    Ehen plz send us the invitation via aunty Ojay.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/28/2013

      Lwkm @ another mediator, and u're right Bona.
      Babe, no dull yourself. If it will make u happy, tell your friend about it. I doubt that she'll care. Afterall u still had ur BF(now ex) at d tym dey broke up, so it's nt like u snatched him.
      Enjoy ur life biko.

      - Ms FT

      Delete
  5. Anonymous4/28/2013

    Babez why re u dulling? Dis is absolutely nothing wrong with u guys being 2geda! Afterall ur frnd who is his ex is happily married! Pls accept his proposal asap!

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  6. Go for him, u doing nothing wrong. U shd also let ur friend(his ex) know abt it.but pls don't tell her u started havin feelings for him right from wen they had issues o.... Goodluck dear.

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  7. I also think you should accept that proposal. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

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  8. Pls go for it jare! Which law says its wrong? Your friend is even married. Like anonymous said,don't dull yourself o. Ok,if you are still friends with his ex,you can just tell her of ur intention to accept his proposal,this is to avoid any awkwardness.
    If she's really a 'friend',she'll have no issue with it. And if she acts up,free her!
    Be happy!
    All the best.

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  9. Anonymous4/28/2013

    DO NOT DO IT. YOU WILL REGRET IT!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/28/2013

      Pls explain why u're so sure she will regret it.

      Delete
    2. Waiting for explanation, dearie...

      Delete
  10. Anonymous4/28/2013

    You are not the one that broke them up so she shouldnt have anything against you two being together. Just tell your friend what is happening. She should be able to give you her blessing. She is happy in her home. If not go ahead and be with your man jare. Life is too short. you deserve to be happy.

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  11. It's a dicey situation. You love him but don't want to marry your friend's ex. Hmm...
    You need to pray for God's direction. He never fails.

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  12. Babe dear. I knw it feels awkward bt ur friend is marid so ders nufin stoppin u. Tak d bull by d horns

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  13. Johnson4/28/2013

    This is a YES for me...
    Start this courtship immediately. Tell your pastor, if you're a Christian and go for marriage counseling. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've learnt and I'm learning that the most important confirmation you need about what's right or wrong is from God. Our opinions on this issue will count for nought and could cause you pain and regret, if it's at variance with God's will for you. I don't know your faith but if you could, go to God and ask Him for what His plan and purpose for this relationship is, I think you'll get the rest and peace you need on this matter. If God says this man is for you, regardless of the past relationship between him and your friend, it will work out well. Just ask God and listen to what He has to say. His word is final. His blessings make rich and add no sorrow. I wish I had confirmed from God before wasting 13 years of my life...All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :-(

      I dint want to comment before because I did not want to sound like a party pooper. But you just said my mind exactly. Even if 1000 people tell you to marry someone and everything is perfect, if it' not in accordance with God's will for your life, after marriage, everything will go down south so fast, that you will be dumbfounded.

      Sorry for 'wasting' 13 years but just know that God will restore all the years that the bugs have eaten. You will be so blessed that you won't even remember those years. Amen!

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    2. Thanks Ahdaisy Jayde. Amen! And God bless you and your family too.

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    3. @Adele, your later life shall be greater and sweeter than the former. Amen.

      Delete
    4. Amen. Thanks Eya.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous4/29/2013

    Crushy feeling is not enough to get married to someone. Is it the thrill of marrying your friends Ex that is pushing you? Love in marriage is different from crushy feelings. Think about it because the sound of a palm kernel is not always the taste of it. Another thing is to be careful,he may still have feelings for your friends and starts making comparism between both of you when the chips are down. Another thing is anytime he sees you,he will be reminded of her even though she is married. If he is actually over your friend,he will move out of her circle of friends. When the chips are down and you guys are married,he may start asking after your friend and if you have heard from her bla bla bla. Take your time and know his intentions if it is right. BLESSINGS

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  16. @Anon 8.04am.. Am sorry I don't agree with you concerning †ђξ 'leaving †ђξ cricle Ɣ making comnparism'
    A crusty feeling can grow to love from being fond of †ђξ person..its a step @ a time. All she need do is pray abt it, discuss it with Ɣ☺ΰя prayer partners or your pastor and even †ђξ guy.. What if †ђξ whole action of connecting Ɣ breaking up with her friend was for a purpose 4 them 2 be married.
    Please I believe in following of heart. Life is too short 4 serenrew

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  17. readin Bonario's comments all through this blog makes me happy! the guy's skull truly houses a big brain and i always agree with his posts. he's always right in thoughts. aunty Eya keep up the work

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  18. mrs anon3/25/2014

    I always said I can never have anything to do with any man that dated my sister or my friend. Even if all the men in the world have finished. But as life is not always black or white, if I were u I would pray seriously first. Tell d guy to wait first for u to think about it. Feelings are VERY deceptive and unreliable. It's not safe to marry out of feelings, from other people's stories on this blog we can learn a few things. Pray hard and seek counsel. Take your time, no hurry. be sure that the guy is coming after you for the right reasons and not just a rebound or emotional decision. If after all u feel convinced and have peace, go to your friend and seek her consent. Let her know things developed after her breakup and not before. If she's mature she 'll be happy for u. If she's not, prepare to forgo that friendship if u go ahead. In all, let God guide you. Blessings.

    ReplyDelete

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