How Do I Get Out Of This Relationship?

Aunty Eya, how are you doing. I appreciate the work you do on this blog it has really helped a lot of us. Pls I've kept this to myself for long but I need help now.

Av being dating this guy 4 almost a year. I know premarital sex is wrong but

am into it. I observe my boyfriend has premature ejaculation. It's so bad dat he comes when we are kissing. D best e can do in sex is less than a minute.

 I cry cos I love him but I have prior experience and I know I might cheat if we are married. He said he wants us to get married this year but he's not ready to seek medical attention. Saying am only asking 4 too much. I really wanna get out of this relationship. What can I do?

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  1. Hmmmmmm. If u ask me na who I go ask.if u know its no something u can bear den u leave him. But I dnt attach much importance 2 dat. Maybe u are very sexually active. Cus some pperson pray 4 dem 2 come quick so he or she can rest. Lol. Is dat d only reason y u wanna leave him?is he good in other areas? Well jst tink well sha and mak ur decision.

    1. I do love to advice, but I hate to read, so I believe a lot of pple are like me, so I shall be replying the first comments always.
      My dear, plenty men come in less than 5mins, I hate long sex, if u are not tru in 6mins infact am ready to get up. Most men come under 5mins, Ur bf's problem is simple Anxiety, he is too anxious n just comes immediately, obviously he gets excited easily, sexual satisfaction doesn't have to come from penetration, pls oral sex works wonders, he can go down on u, when u come then he can come, as long as u get that satisfaction and ths is not a problem unless u make it one, once he starts to have sex regularly or frequently hs level of anxiety will reduce, pls take it from me I know a lil bout every thing.

  2. Anonymous4/15/2013

    I believe sexual incapabilities can b worked out,he can give u oral sex till u come b4 d real deal(dats if he's into dat)just mek sure its somfin u can't compromise n dat u really can't deal wifout it. Gudluck

  3. Anonymous4/15/2013

    My dear if he's not willing to seek medical attention nd u knw u won't be able to cope with him even in marriage then leave him, My hubby has d same issue nd its really really annoyin now tot it'll get better cuz he lasts sometimes but it isn't nd he's always strong headed to seek medical attention.

  4. Anonymous4/15/2013

    ! Dnt compromise at all! Bad sex is not fun oooo, it doesn't get better in marriage! What u see is wat u get. If he sees it as a problem and wants u, he shld deal with it first!

  5. Hawtness4/15/2013

    hmmmmm....can he please u in other ways like sucking, or fingering u? Is sex very important to you? If it is, then talk to him again to seek medical attention and tell him how important sex is to you. If he refuses and u think u can't cope without the sex, u leave him. Else like u have already predicated, u may cheat on him when u eventually get married

  6. Young Awesome Mum4/15/2013

    Keep talkin to him abt seekin medical attention since u love him, if he really loves u he'll definitely give in soon. Meanwhile u can read up abt premature ejaculation nd natural ways to control it on google nd talk to him abt wat u read nd also help him out. But if things don't get better nd u knw sex is important to u then i think u shld leave him to avoid cheating on him when u both get married cuz u already hv the thought of cheating.

  7. I do not think pre-marital sex should be condoned or encouraged but premature ejaculation is not the end of the world sex-wise. Like Young Awesome Mum pointed out, there are several natural ways it can be treated and it could be just as simple as changing his diet. If you really love him and would stay with him but for the bad sex, then you may need to arm yourself with knowledge. Also try letting him know that the bad sex is a very serious issue for you. I am sure that when you go for pre-marital counselling if you do decide to get married, this will come up. Weigh the pros and cons of getting married to this man. I would say that though sex is very important in a marriage, it is not a reason to get married or to not get married. What if you had good sex before you got married and your husband suddenly starts having premature ejaculation. Would you cheat on him, wouldn't you try to work things out and see how to fix things? We need to stop thinking of marriage as a destination or as something we can discard when things don't work out. There is this popular picture about a married old couple saying that the reason they are still together after several years is because they grew up in a time where if something doesn't work you don't throw it away but fix it.

  8. My dear try get him to see reasons with you,he shouldn't be that selfish. Putting into consideration the number of infidelity associated with low ejaculation,I wouldn't advice u put urself in such precarious situation,its even better u got to know beforehand.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

  9. Anonymous4/15/2013

    If u both don't mind, he shd wear a condom for sex; that reduces d sensitivity of his penis n also delay d ejaculation. Sex is stil pleasurable even with a condom. Enjoying sex is a thing of d mind.I hope this helps you.xxJ

  10. Anonymous4/15/2013

    My ex used 2 last 4 ova an hour,not kidding.I used 2 b so sore after d whole sweet experience but now my husband last jux lyk 5mins but I swear I prefer it.lyk odas said,make do wth fingering n sucking.there are other things to enjoy in marriage apart from sex though sex is important too*smiles*

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  13. Hi sis,

    He needs no medical attention on this except you want him to engage in the use of viagra which has countless side effects.

    He needs to engage in at LEAST 30 Minutes foreplay, this will help him reduce initial sexual anxiety. NOTE: the longer your arousal via foreplay the sooner your climax after thrusting.

    He must drink a lot of water, this helps to boost his body water and blood, which is needed to fill his JT.

    He should eat a lot of nuts (all kinds)

    Here is my personal afrodisiac (this is responsible for the hausa male sexual prowess) eat a lot of suya or (ginger & garlic) mixture, hausas av those in almost all their meals and appetizers, even zobo and kunu, this is the basic condiment of the powder used to serve suya, when I buy suya I request a lot of that.

    He needs a lot of patience in carry out the above and most importantly he needs discipline.

    Lastly, you need to sit him down and talk sense into him and also be his help, ask bianca how she helped Ojukwu solve his, lolz. NOTE: the next guy might be worse. You can also find more useful materials online.

    Note: Doctors are never known to have solved any erectile dysfunction issue you'll just feel foolish after visiting them.

    Thank me later!

  14. Anonymous4/16/2013

    Some of u don't get it.she said evn wen he's kissn her he is alrdy ejaculating.30mins of foreplay won't work for dis guy.bcos he wud hv ejaculatd within 2mins xcept he decides to hold on and continue wit d foreplay just to satisfy least wen a man penetrates he shud b able to ride for some few minutes bfor releasing not just penetratn n imediatly praaaaaaa.Lolol and also if d sperm is watery he shud see a doc asap and shud also work on his psychs.

  15. Anonymous4/16/2013

    My dear sister,Do not leave him ooo. I experienced the same thing when i was dating my wife. But miraculously everything change during our honeymoon. Please follow the advise of Ace bentley you will be back with testimony...

  16. Anonymous4/17/2013

    Please sex is important in a marriage. I have made up my mind no premarital sex,and this is where I'm believing God that he is going to show himself strong in my life by giving me someone that I'm sexually compatible with,without me "testing". :)

    I used to have sex altho not very often because guilty conscience(believing I have failed God when I do premarital sex) never allowed me to be comfortable with the act. After a while I stopped altogether.

    But I have discovered that I love sex,and 5mins is not even enough for foreplay for me.I believe Sex is very important in marriage,well except the husband and wife are not highly sexed. I have asked around(married friends,counsellors,etc) and they all say the same thing. Sex was Meant for Marriage,And it is Important.

    It is a relationship,not marriage. If u can't cope with it now you still have the option of walking out.he's not even ready to seek medical attention(probably out of pride),and u already say u don't wanna cheat.

    Don't deceive yourself. Don't think he will change after marriage,u will have to live with it in marriage,and Yes U will have to stay with him,without sexual satisfaction. So think very well. If he's not ready to accept that he might have a problem,and start looking for solution NOW,abeg take a walk. My 2cents.

    Anty eya I love your blog. God bless u. Please visit this blog for a good laugh. :)

  17. I can totally relate with you @ Anon April 17 8.13am. I am trusting God to give me a man who will surpass my sexual expectations because I will not be engaging in pre-marital sex. There must be some chemistry and spark. Isn't that part of the attraction to engage in a relationship? In fact, having read the stories and posts recently on this blog, I am adding it to my prayer points for my future husband. However, I still think the poster's dilemma can be remedied and she need not leave if bad sex is the only thing that's wrong with her man. God help us all.

  18. Anonymous4/17/2013

    Amen adele. I only said she should leave cus it seems like the guy is not even taking her concerns seriosly,and it seems selfish to me.

    He should be thinking of how to sexually please his fiance,not wave it away. If he's not concerned now,there is no guarantee he will be concerned in future.

    I'm saying walk so she doesn't cheat or live as a sexually frustrated married woman.Like you said,God help us all.

  19. I tnk ur guy is being selfish,sex is not d ultimate in marriage,bt it is d engine room in marriage,cos a marriage witout sex is lyk a phone witout network..good sex make u appricite and bond with ur parner d more. Lyk I always say,d 3gr8test in a womans lyf,is Love,Sex and Money. If he can't last now and doesn't want to seek help,wat makes u tink it will change after marriage? A woman witout gud sex is lyk a wild beast in a home,dnt start wat u can't handle so u won't end up being an unfaithful married woman,an adultress. Pray 4 Gods direction.


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