Are We Compatible? I Need Help

Aunty Eya,

Abeg help me share this story, I am so confused. I rather remain anonymous as well.

I've just got into a weird situation and need help.

So there's this guy I always ran into at church and kinda admired from afar, all we exchanged

were smiles and actually never spoke.

When he was moving back to naija he asked for my pin and when he got back he added me and we kept in touch, phone calls and messages. I was fond of him as a friend and when I visited we hung out and eventually started dating.

I returned after 2 weeks and its been long distance. Now he seems to be everything I don't want in a guy, he's nt secure in himself, makes no effort in communication, tells a lot of people our issues, he also nags and complains like a woman, he also doesn't know how to talk and one funny thing with all his qualifications he can neither spell properly nor speak fluent English, doesn't know what is a joke and what isn't.

An example is how he always says he wants a virgin and how he's never disvirgined a girl, knowing full well I'm not one and he even sometimes talks dirty about how he wants 2 make me sweat and how good he is at sex all that.

I've tried to talk to him about it and it just causes arguments and the last time he asked me if I still wanted the relationship? Any time he does something that's not nice I've noticed he stays away and doesn't communicate before I will go out of my way to patch stuff even when I shouldn't and I have stopped now and sometimes we won't talk for days.

It's all so different from who I am because I'm so laid back and secure in myself and make an effort into any relationship I'm in. Like its obviously long distance and I'm a student and I recently couldn't afford the phone bills(I was the one doing most of the calling) because I've been quite broke and he hasn't been very frequent with communication unless its free? (His friend's phone, his uncle's phone, bbm, email and recently asked me to download viber).

All this stingy behaviour makes me laugh coming from someone who was making mouth about how he sponsored his ex to come to the UK and how much he spent on her feeding,shopping bla bla.

I thank God for my parents so I do not make any financial demands on him in any way or form but he can't even buy 500 naira credit to call me? When I complained he asked me if I know how much two bedroom flat is? Wetin concern agbero with overload? I have ceased to complain and I don't think there is any point again.

I have prayed about it and it seems my eyes are opened to more things about him which make me feel we are not compatible. And he was saying he wants 2 marry me? I don run abeg.

I feel like I can't continue its not worth it. What do you think?

Thanks!!
Expecting your response.
------------------

Comments

  1. ****Mufasa Said4/30/2013

    My dear leave this guy!!!

    He wil make ur life miserable in d end. Me sef have seen people lik this!. You are seeing this becoz this proves that God really wants us to get to know our to-be husbands before marrying them! WALK AWAY!!!

    I always tell people, u can marry a blind man, a lame man, a dwarf but NEVER EVER marry a stingy man! he will frustrate ua nd ur kids till eternity!!!

    ****Mufasa Said

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/30/2013

      Thirded!

      Delete
    2. 'fourthed' biko!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous4/30/2013

      Fifthed LOL

      Delete
    4. Johnson4/30/2013

      Sixthed...
      Run!, run!!, except he runs after you and is able to catch-up (which means he turns a new-leaf, increases his speed to correct his attitude, and chases after you...)

      Delete
    5. Seventhed...catchup ke?a stingy man is a stingy man,marriage changes nothing.he cn only pretend n get worse after marriage.so keep running n dnt allow him t catch up wt u cos u no b tomatoe ketchup

      Delete
    6. Anonymous4/30/2013

      Eighthed......I think by this number you should know the most appropriate thing to do. Comot before motor jam you. GBAM.

      Delete
    7. Anonymous4/30/2013

      ninethed oo.. stingy kwa? mba... infact put ur two hands for ur head comot ur shoes fold ur trouser and run 440 oya..

      Delete
    8. Anonymous4/30/2013

      FIFTHED!!!, LWKM THIS BLOG IS SOMETHING ELSE, my supposed fiance is such a stingy man, if i start my own gist eehhh, you won't believe it, i'm dumping his ass on my birthday (3rd may), ladies pleaseeeeee run from stingy guys, they will tie you down for life, Na the same people dey admire better dressed women before their wives and na them jealous pass, please don't remind me of my funny experiencesssssssss.

      Delete
    9. Anonymous4/30/2013

      lool...my dear stingyness lets nt go there ooh, i av learnt my share of lessons in that regards!!!

      Delete
    10. @Anon3:51. Plz don't dump him on that day ... That day is precious to me, so dont do something rash on a day like that.

      Apparently we share the same birthday!

      Delete
  2. My dear this is not rocket science,its so obvious like today being the 30th day of April,that he's not the type of guy u need in your life.
    A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage. KA CHINEKE MEZIE OKWU.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh! Ace ur bday mate wt my one and only bro...ok nw I love u

      Delete
    2. @Alero, love u too! He'll sure be a nice bloc #ur brother! Ma regards plz.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous4/30/2013

    Run girl, becos he's got NOTHING to offer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear, I like the last statement you made "I don run abeg". Take 5! :)

    Thank God you have done that. You have done the right thing. The odds are just too much. The "negatives" he displays are just too off for someone anyone should be a considering as a life partner and a future head.

    This guy is not responsible. He is not yet mature. I don't care his age but he isn't. You should be with a man who will love you as Christ loved the church and laid His life for her. He should love you more than you love him. He should want you more than you want him. He should be more committed to see the LDR work if he is serious. If he truly wants you then he must act as the head, not you. You are not the head.

    Not all men act as heads. But that is what God wants for you in a husband. Not a leech. He already leaves communication to you "a broke student". The guys is not serious jare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Best Comment!like I wrote it.
      BTW where's Sting?I misssss uuuuu,please come back,don't let the naysayers drive u out.
      Ur opinion just mirrors mine.
      If u reading this,could pls HI back?

      Delete
  5. Anonymous4/30/2013

    If u know a man is an 'AKA GUM'(stingy) while dating, if u go ahead and marry him, u are DOOMED for life. That is the worst thing about a man for me. Tufia!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was that all u saw? What if he's a great planner and resource manager! Lolz

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/30/2013

      Ace Bently.. u sabi say na scope be that one naa.. great planner kwa gini? na so dem go talk.. baby lets minimize cost by buying okirika instead of goin 2 boutique cos dey sell same thing.. park well my brother stingykoko is stingykoko..lolz

      Delete
  6. Anonymous4/30/2013

    My dear run for ur life

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can't say anything based on this one sided story. I'm sure if the guy has to say something about u he'll probably say a whole lot about u that u haven't mentioned. One thing that I couldn't help noticing is that u don't write so well. Yet u're complaining about ur bf's inability to express himself despite all the qualifications he has. Girl, I think it's time for u to check yourself too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/30/2013

      Shattap! There's nothing wrong with the way she writes. Don't hate. Abi you be the guy sef?

      Delete
  8. My comment....

    I dey speechless like Michael Jackson

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't know why some pple have concluded that the guy is stingy. The young lady hasn't told us if the guy is working or not so it's wrong to assume he's stingy. Bearing in mind the guy just relocated back to 9ja. It's not easy settling in and I think the lady should show more understanding and talk to her man about her feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous4/30/2013

    Hi Tope, thanks for your feedback. First, I was in a hurry when I sent the mail so pardon me. Trust me I can express myself very well.

    Also, for now he is staying with his family for now and working at a proper high brow company on the island.

    Finally, as I said in the mail he never takes on board my worries but I always take his on board. It seems all a bit one sided.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ok...if he's working and can't load his phone to call then u've made the right decision by walking out.

    All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Run make ur legs touch the back of ur head sis, marry ko, marry ni. If u marry tat guy ready to become d man of d house cos he will never run short of excuses.

    ReplyDelete
  13. chubby ELLA4/30/2013

    EYA ooooooooooo,dese ur blog pple no go killl me oooooooo,I don laugh tire sotey my belle don dey pain me. Abeg wch one b thirded,fourthed,fifthed....... OMG. Me my own na twentisixted. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous5/01/2013

    My bf prefers communicating through only bbm, he calls like once a month. When I complain, he says "it's cheaper"

    ReplyDelete
  15. eji mi5/03/2013

    *laughs*omg.....dis is soooo funny bt really my dear,open ur eyes & think well.Lobatan

    ReplyDelete

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