Holidaying With Ex One Week Before Our Wedding

Leather briefcase
Leather briefcase (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Good Morning Aunty Eya, 
Atlast, I am also writing my story after reading from other ladies on your blog. I need to share mine too. I am not writing because I need advise, I am not depressed at all and I won't let my feeble self be. I am writing because I can't trust any of my friends. Can't confide in them, they might betray me. After reading
your blog for this long, I am beginning to feel with you the freedom one feels around a close elder sister. 

Aunty Eya, my Traditional wedding took place last week Thursday. Last night while looking for spare keys in my husband's brief case, I bumped into an envelope of lovely pictures he took with his ex at the Ranch just a week to our traditional marriage. The same time he went to see his sick friend.

The Church and Registry weddings have been fixed, I am 35 and won't be daft enough to make any trouble. I will not give myself the trouble of confrontation ( That happens only on Cheaters).  I am going to majestically wed him and then deal with him. He doesn't know who he is playing with. After giving my all. I am no longer interested in love, all I want with him now is to have kids. I don't want to have my children out of wedlock. I don't want to remain childless or to later get pregnant for a married man because of desperation.

One week to my traditional marriage, My fiance asked to go visit a sick friend who just got back from treatment abroad and is recuperating at the Obudu Cattle Ranch in Cross River State. He travelled, spent two days with his sick friend and returned back. We continue to plan for our traditional wedding. We plan on a tight budget because I really didn't want him to feel pressured or go through stress with his finances. I cut down on a lot of things and even did away with some. I am not proud of the shoe I wore on my wedding day. My Best Friend wore even more expensive shoes than me the bride. When my girlfriend changed for the evening, I felt embarrassed for myself. I was so bent on saving costs, so much so that I didn't realize I actually bought cheap shoes, a cheap bag and cheap jewelry for my special day. 

He was so happy on the wedding day, made me feel special and all but now I know all na wash. When you are faithful, and someone begins to make the fool of you, God has a way of revealing things to you. I have never searched that briefcase, nothing would have made me suspect that he still sees the widow he claims is older than him with a child in Secondary School. When I started dating Frank, I saw that he and this woman were close, he explained that there was nothing between them, he said they were just plain friends with nothing attached and went further to ask what on earth makes me think  he will have something to do with a widow older than him. I never saw her again until this fateful day I see pictures in his briefcase.

The pictures are so revealing. They took turns taking the pics on the green grass of the ranch. They sat together and took, they hugged and took. How can a man planning to wed the next week be so careless as to take such pics and even go ahead to hide them in his briefcase. 

While I was here busy running up and down to get things set, my dear fiance was having a two day holiday at the Ranch. The pictures taken with the two pair of dresses he travelled with. The recent bruise beside his right ear and the pair of shoe he bought just a day before travelling. Those pictures couldn't have been old ones.

He has never taken me out  to spend even a weekend in a hotel and have fun. All we do is watch Tv and play games. When we go out, it's just to visit friends and nothing like spending to take me somewhere special. I never even craved for any such treatments till I saw these pics. He wants me to manage everything and I wasn't complaining. I felt like being able to manage resources is an attribute of every African wife. I try as much as possible to live a simple life and help him save, here he is at the expensive Cattle Ranch on a two day vacation with an old lover.

His sick friend cannot deny not knowing about that relationship. I won't bother asking any of them. What I have done is dump my love for him in the ocean. My heart is now very cold towards him. I like that I am an excellent pretender. I still make him feel loved, BUT, that's not the real me. I can't even believe that this man lying down in that room  cheated on me just a week to our wedding, not just small cheating, travelling to holiday and have fun with a woman while planning our wedding. If a prophet or an angel told me, I won't believe. How come we misplaced his keys and I had to check in his briefcase? I hate him with a passion but I will go on with the church and Registry, settle down and have my lovely kids, and even raise them in their father's house. I won't be stupid, I won't call off the wedding. How am I sure the next one will be better. I will marry him with the wicked side of me.

Now he thinks he is smart. We shall see who is smarter. At 35, he cannot push me to go and start dating again, no way. I won't cheat on him. I will deal with him. The animalistic part of me he has never seen, will be experienced after marriage. I won't nag, I won't give him reasons to complain about me to anyone.  I will only make sure he is miserable. I am not really asking for advise cos my mind is already made up. It will take only God's divine intervention. A woman scorned...

Comments

  1. hmmmmmmmmmmm, na wa! I can't shout. I know some people will come now with stories of forgiveness. So sorry, I will do SAME. Or maybe I won't who knows?

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  2. young awesome mum3/25/2013

    Wow! I seriously don't knw what to say. Men nd their ways *smh* This's really heart breaking, this post brought tears to my eyes...

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  3. I want to believe that he loves you for him to chose to marry you. But what kind of love is that? Gush.

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  4. Hmmmm dis is really serious.
    My dear to be frank with u,something inside me ironically supports dis ur attempt at getting ur pound of flesh. I hate cheats,I detest them so much.
    I feel ur pain coz some situations leaves u more strong hearted,instead of being sober.it leaves u with no room for love.
    Had a taste of betrayal,which made me shutout my heart from love,and because I know I can't love for now and I don't want to subject any girl to what I experienced,I always try not to fall or make anyone fall for me.

    But my dear,av always been a proponent of TWO WRONGS CANNEVER MAKE A RIGHT. So in d light of dat I advice u not to enter ur marriage with the wrong impression,believe ur seeing the pics ainta coincedence,but devine providence. And if dats d case what do u think God wants of u in this situation.
    U may endup loosung twice if u don't approach the issue with care,confront him and if he shows sincere remorse plz forgive him.
    Plz don't be selfish in ur approach,coz family is madeup of father,mother and children. U can't isolate that father figure. Don't loose hope u're in for the most blissful marriedlife.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    1. Anonymous3/26/2013

      Bona sorry to ask o, but what's ur age range? And ru married?

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    2. Was born on d 15th of feb,on a wednesday.
      Nah am not married.

      ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    3. Anonymous3/26/2013

      Sorry to ask o, r u interested in Bona?

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    4. Anonymous3/26/2013

      Hahahahahahaha! U guys ar funny!
      Sorry to ask too o #seriouly Bona ar u single tell us na,want to know before I leave Lagos begin come Abuja o! Cos me I won't take no for an answer if u ar single!
      Bona dear don't worry about d age range me lik wat I see!
      Lolz
      Aunty Eya weldone o!

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    5. Anonymous3/26/2013

      He is taken! Infact im wearing his ring. Thank u for appreciating my guy, moving on
      Mrs Bonario

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    6. Leave Bona alone o
      I don tell u my own

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  5. Jeez, I was just getting goosebumps as I read. Babe, I know you are strong, and that is OK, but that does not mean you should be unforgiving either, or wicked. These things may be emotional, but with time, they begin to eat into your physical, and affect your health and sanity.

    I'm not saying you should leave him, no way, but think of the good times you had in the past, think of the children you'll have together in future, and forgive him. For your own physical and mental health, let it go. If it will help, after the wedding, let him know you know, and talk it out. It is well.

    Romance Meets Life

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    1. Anonymous3/26/2013

      Good one myne, i so like dis advice especially the part of this whole scenario affecting her health n sanity. very true. Girl u r the one filled wt so much anger n maybe hate but truth be told u r the one more endangered than him cos u will be the carrier of all this killer emotions.

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  6. Barbie3/26/2013

    My dear, you are not alone. When I had my first son, a lady came to see me after we were discharged from the hospital. Sje walked in with my husband. He introduced her as a friend who just came into town. YTrue she just came in cos she lives in anothet town.
    This fine looking slim lady brought me a gift. A wrapper material I already sewed into a lovely dress and started using before finding out that she is/was my husband's lover.

    I confronted him and do you know what he said? that the woman needs to be thanked for helping him settle down, because she always advised him to get serious with a girl and settle down.

    She gave him an ultimatum to get married fast because he was not getting any younger. I later learnt the woman is a widow with four kids/his lover.

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  7. Anonymous3/26/2013

    Hmmmmm so speechless, I think I like your decision 100%. Am in a similar position and I just think I have found the perfect way τ̲̅ȍ deal with him, ♍γ̲̣̣̥ wedding į̸̸̨Ƨ̷ in a couple of months. LOVE? Plsss dat word doesn't exist anymore.

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    1. In as much as I love these una ideas,has it occured to u dat God allowed u to catch him for a reason...mebbe if u enter d marriage,u myt lose ur life or mebbe ur just meant to forgive.women der r wonderful men out there,stop being of the opinion dat bcos of ur age u won't find a man to love u,u will,and stop thinking dat if ur child is raised in a single home he won't turn out to be wonderful,he will with d help of God.sorry to both of u bt am nt just impressed jor

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    2. exactly!!!! GOD may have wanted you to see these things for a reason... hmmmmm warning signs ..heed to them... its very hard to do..but if i was in ur shoes, i would frigging call off that wedding!!! i'm not gonna be in a marriage were i'm managing it instead of enjoying it.. ure making these plans of dealing with him ..what if he also has plans that might make u lose ur sanity or even lead to death. omo!! marriage isnt compulsory o..haaa! CALL OFF WEDDING TILL HE'S READY! AND IF GOD SAYS HE ISNT THE ONE,THEN SO BE IT!

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  8. Think, think and think again before going ahead with your plan. You declared that you don't want advise and you cannot start dating again, so consider a lot of things before you begin your 'show-down'

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    1. Anonymous3/26/2013

      My dear all I have to say is that I am facing a similar situation like you...I've been married to an INGRATE for the last 1 year and I even have a son for him..So I ain't going no where...I will stay and pretend like everything is ok but deep down all I feel pure HATRED and DISGUST for my husband who I used to love soooo dearly that I could have given my life for him...He will definitely feel the hurt I feel now....Not now but sometime in the future he will suffer much more because I must pay back #Heaven has no rage like love turned to hatred and Hell hath no fury like a woman SCORNED..I don talk my own

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    2. *sigh* unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. plz and plz forgive your husband.. nobody is great enough to make u go to hell. wot if u die in that unforgiveness state, wot happens.. please pray about it too.. prayer works wonders..talk to him about it too... an eye for an eye would only leave the world blind. thanks and God's grace in your marriage.

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  9. Pray and confront him ...this man will be living his life normally while you may come up with high bb or stroke and at the end how will you enjoy your children?Talk to him now!!

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  10. Rachael3/26/2013

    Like u said,you aren't asking for advice but I'll give mine anyway.

    For d sake of d love you once had,CONFRONT him in a subtle manner after d wedding.it'll send chills down his spine,I don't know him but the fear of a woman scorned should scare any man cos it's usually compared to hell cos @ this rate,u may have so much bottled up&u won't know when u'll just kill him or something.......
    Really Sorry about the situation,if he indeed is apologetic,forgive him....I blame d strange woman too not just the man...Useless woman

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  11. There are a lotta of 'angry' &scorned women around!so much vexation in their heart,don't even know what to say.hmmm
    @Barbie ur husband is very 'brave' oo,so by implication,he didn't marry u for love or bcos u were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with,he married u for convenience.wow!.
    The stories u hear....

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    1. Shayor3/26/2013

      Who is dis Abena or Ribena? Why r u so judgemental. What makes u think ur own man married you for love? (I wonder how he married u with dis attitude sef). Trust me, with dis attitude of urs, u may be comin back here with ur tale of woes sooner than u think if u don't change. The only tin is that would pain me is dt u would come as an anonymous. Pls take heed lest you fall. Mtcheeeew!

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    2. Some people just wanna be cyber bullys!I now know how Bonario felt for all those who constantly abused him on LIB for no particular reason: INDIFFERENCE!On a tuesday morning like this u want to hav heart attack because of me?hai,kp3l3 ooo.
      And ever heard of simple deduction?that's what I did wth Barbie's comment,did u even read &understand it?She clearly said it herself so how then do I judge?
      And what attitude?he knows my Idiosyncrasies &likes it that,one thing for sure about me is what u see is what u get.I'm arrogantly confident so there u have it,that might be my flaw.
      So my dear Shayor,learn to be tolerant of other people's opinion.

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    3. Shayor3/26/2013

      Oh good! U know ur are 'arrongantly confident'? That settles it den! Enjoy it till you learn!

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    4. Shayor3/26/2013

      *Typos*

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    5. I dislike this abeena lady so much.she shouldn't be here!

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    6. Anonymous3/26/2013

      aunty shayo and abena make una no use paracetamol for another woamn headache na?? haba!*walks away befor i get a slap**

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    7. Anonymous3/26/2013

      woman**

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    8. Anonymous3/26/2013

      Abena I pity you!
      Married a man 10years your senior and you come here to talk! He has a skeleton in his cupboard! Be deceiving yourself!
      Hope he was not your sugar daddy when you where in school? Before he married you?
      With Christains like you and Chi around, people would rather stay with a brood of vipers! If jesus was like both of you, mary magdelene would not have had a chance!
      Leave Bona and LIB out of this!

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    9. Errrrm, abeg, wat did chi do ooo?

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    10. @Anon: when did i say i married someone 10yrs older than me?seriously u guys like to take the micky out of people!sugar daddy k3?what business do i have with those lecherous old men?i take care of my business,always being an industrious person,hustling my way thru when nobody gave me a dog chance!
      i dont rely on men for handout so yes i am arrogantly confident,my self esteem is this high,i keep developing myself and the real man in my life appreciates such a woman so what the heck is your problem?

      and to the person who says he/she hates me,seriously u have got MAJOR issues,go see a shrink,would foot the bill for u.how u gonna hate a faceless person on the internet?someone u have never met before?jeeezzzz!u are such a sulky child,grow up.Thank God the world doesnt revolve around u so i get to express my opinion.

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  12. Each post reveals the state of mind of other readers. One lesson I just learnt is that a lot of women are walking around with broken hearts and hatred, ready to explode. My heart goes out to you all. No one deserves to live life that way and above is someone about to enter that kind of life on permanently level.

    I wnt advice you, I'll only tell you what will happen. You have a choice now, but once married, you dnt have a choice. Your going into marriage with him shows that you are telling GOD and man that Frank is your HEAD and you will be submissive. I dnt want to know about his own vows, cos it's you we are dealing with. So this is what might happen.

    1. You will go into marriage with the aim to deal with him, but you will end up dealing with yourself.

    2. Probability that after marriage you will not be able to pretend is high. Forget that thing, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. When someone is bitter, they cant hide it for too long. Their emotions must betray them sooner than expected.

    3. You will regret marrying him.

    4. Becos you are bitter, when you finally lash out, he will see it as a reason to go back to cheating...

    5. After lashing out, you will feel better and maybe forgive him. But by that time, he would av cheated again...and the cycle continues.

    6. God forbid, but what happens if the kids don't start popping out soon after marriage? Hm, I fear for the monster that you will turn you into. But God forbid!

    7. You'll hate him, love him, hate yourself, feel sorry for yourself, try to make it work, try to scatter it.... You will be a mess!

    SO.... Pls, remember the scripture that says What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul. In ur case, you wnt gain the whole world and you will lose your soul. Most of what will take ppl to hell is not sin, its unforgiveness, hatred, Anger, bitterness, selfishness and wickedness.

    So if you think, you will make him suffer, think again. Dnt shoot urslf in the foot to scratch an itch.

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    1. I cant help myself, I must advise you. Pls, pls, pls, confront him and ask him why. Resolve your issues before marriage. Pls, I am begging you. It might be that he just wanted to do one last runs before getting hitched. Since you have decided to marry him, decide to forgive him. Let go...let go of the pain and hurt. It is also a decision to let go. Those feelings dnt just fly out, you have to make a conscious effort to let go. Forgive. He has also chosen to marry you, so lemme believe there is a measure of love there.

      It's not easy. I am by no means saying it is easy. But try. Tell God about your sorrows. He alone can console you and mend your broken heart. Dedicate urself to a worthy godly cause and you'll just find yourself letting go. Bitterness hurts the carrier more. It's like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

      Marriage can be suffocating, you dnt need to add hatred to that. Liberate yourself my Sister, and other sisters here. Liberate yourselves! It is the devil that is specifically attacking women cos he knows we run the world! We do! That's why he wants to destroy women, s that it will be easier to destroy mankind! Those who look at the sun, do not see shadows. Look unto Jesus and those pains will disappear.

      I am typing all these cos I care. I really genuinely care so no one shud feel I am just talking cos its not happening to me. Although I dnt have any bad marriage stories, I have seen enough and heard enough to know that you are making the wrong decision. Thank you.

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    2. MizOsa3/26/2013

      Woke up are read dis touching story. Den Ahdaisy had n commented I decided 2 re check cus I know she is alwz on point. Nice advise . Pls u have 2 4gv ur hubby.cus its for better 4 worse till death do u part.Ahdaisy u need an award Ooº°˚ as best commentator on Aunt Eya's blog

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    3. had thought of so many things to say to you, but ahdaisy had said then all, so i will only add and comment on you trying to manage money, please a wedding is a once in a lifetime affair, why will you want to go and buy cheap things on your traditional wedding day, please get the best for the white wedding, dont settle for less,marriage has Gods blessing and surely he will provide for you. meanwhile after you carry out your plan, what gives you the assurance that you will have kids, and if you do have kids one day they will go to school and subsequently get married. so what happens to the marriage then, please just forgive you, marriage is serious hardwork oooo,

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  13. Bottled-up anger may end up in disaster oooo! Even if you don't want to forgive him, I still think you should confront him...let him know that you know. And then he'll live in uncertainty, since he won't know what you have in mind. If you keep it all bottled up inside you, believe me u are hurting yourself 'cos the man would be busy living his life normally, while you will be drowning in anger and hate. Let him know that you know.

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  14. My heart really goes out to the poster...That is a really dreadful place to be in.

    This is not an advise but PLEASE rethink your resolution to go ahead with the marriage and punish him thereafter...please because you might actually end up punishing yourself and your unborn kids. No child deserves to be brought up in a loveless marriage. Please if for nothing else, just think about the kids.
    My sincere prayer is for God to help you make the right decision and heal your heart.

    www.biolaleye.blogspot.com

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  15. Hmmm, i can feel ur pains. My dear, pls hv a hrt to hrt talk wt him.

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  16. Pls my sister I don't want to sound like ITK,but I will assure u dt u feel ds way cos u've not started living with him yet as a wife.Men! Dy can be so annoying to live with,he'll not send u after a while if he sees u're uptight he'll find happiness in another woman's arms.And ds bitterness and unforgiveness will only hurt u and make u look old and sad.U can't afford it with or without kids.Confront him!I believe its d best option in marriages.Tell him u know,u have nothing 2 lose.Always communicate with ur spouse.With time,if u allow God,he'll make d pain go away.Ur marriage can be a beautiful tin u'll still enjoy if u want to.It'll surprise u wat some women forgive men of! God will take d pain&hurt away dear.

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    1. Funke, na so o! Men can be really annoying. If you follow them the way they behave you will just become old and kill yourself. As sweet as my marriage is, sometimes I feel like putting my husband in a bottle and flinging it into the sea! :-) . When we argue, I will be left angry, sweating, with red eyes and dry throat while he will be there fresh-faced, toothy smile and relaxed. And he will still be making his point without accepting mine. Ah, it burns me! Lol.

      Men are so not like we women, so what she is thinking will hurt him might end up giving him a good excuse to live like a single man... and chics are ever available!

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    2. Honestly!I learnt in my marriage o.I feel like banging his head with a brick at times.Lol. Seriously,dy don't get all emotional like we women.If marriage is to be enjoyed;women must realise this.

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  17. Pls, you said u dont want any advise but as long as u post on this blog o, we'll definetely advise u cos most of us feel ur pain. Ahdaisy is so on point & pray, pray about it(we (women) sometimes forget God answers us most especially on our knees). Good luck dear!

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  18. Anonymous3/26/2013

    lmao
    I am really sorry for this man. That is exactly what i would have done to him. Marry him, have my kids, drain him dry and then leave him. Go on girl. i am in support.

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  19. Anonymous3/26/2013

    Deep sigh.....the kinda stories I hear*shivering* marriage is not for the faint hearted ohhhh.....GOD help us women

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    1. Anonymous3/26/2013

      @ kiky u mean???? OH Jesus d man must be dead alive now..

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  20. My sister don't give ursef High BP. Just confront hm gently & get over wit it. Most men r HE GOATS, so confront him & let it go. Make him pay, by him feeling guity. Use d opportunity & demand 4 things u need LOL

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  21. Anonymous3/26/2013

    Good day Anty Eya, You have not met me and likewise just a great lover of this blog, a consistent follower, etc
    I have tôt about loads of tins to make my life better once again and i just decided to take this bold step who knows i might be lucky.
    I am engaged to a nice guy, he is doing well and i love him. I use to have lot of friends before i met him and i was equally happy but somehow somehow, no friends anymore. When we met, we do hang out a whole lot of times togeda and even travelled out of the country together and so on because we both have cash and things were smooth for the both parties.
    I am a Graduate of UI, i studied computer science and was working but he made me stoped and i agreed because he foot my bills and we were all fine and i could still boast of my own money but since my money was exhausted things took another turn and he started misbehaving, keeping late and all. He does things i cant dare half with me and we were all fine after apology. He has this notion i have no where to go due to my financial status nd my parent cant set me up cos they are managing their little and i dont want to stress them with my problem cos they warned me when i wanted to stop work but i said all is well. He spends so much outside that people do envy me so much to be in my shoe cos of my Packaging. He now hang out with his friends, buy the most expensive Gold chain, rings, handchanin etc when i ask for money he flare up and say why am i not considerate or why dont i know when to ask him for money after spending so much but i know he has he simply want me to be asking him for little money all the time so he would be my demi-god. So many things i cant type on here cos of space.
    I have caught him over 3times cheating but i forgot it after apology and i forgive him from the depth of my heart.
    I am not sweet talking or trying to paint him bad cos he tried he is human and cant be perfect too but i know what i need for my voice to be heard and respected once again just as it was.
    All i ask is a financial assistance from you to start a Shawarma business somewhere, pick up myself again and concentrate on my life and when i make little money on my own maybe he will respect me due to the fact dt i made it without him and we wud be all fine if God says he wud still be the one.
    My sisters on here, i have never felt much love the way i feel love on here simply the way people pour out their darkest part and the way sisters here gives advises and care so much like we are all relatives including the only man in the house Bona. Please everyone I need your assistance to stand on my feet again, i am not lying and i am not irresponsible pls think about my write up and help a sister here, i summoned great courage doing this because nowhere to turn to and i wish this suffering and slavery stop.

    Anty Eya please post this for me, i dont want to exploit anyone, i only need help to better my life.

    Biodun

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    1. Anonymous3/26/2013

      U can't b serious,ao can a man u re not married to tell u to quit ur job n u did, without a bizness or sometin.U must b kidding me.

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    2. Tangerine3/26/2013

      Very funny!

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    3. Hawtness3/27/2013

      Biodun I am seriously trying my best not to insult u...U say he buys gold chain, gold wrist watch abi? What stops u from selling those stuffs to start ur business. U are a graduate and not even married to d guy and u agreed to stop work in dis country. U must be a serious learner. Even if I had all the money in d world I would not contribute a dime to 'help' you.

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    4. Anonymous3/27/2013

      If I insult her now, Aunty Eya and Ahdaisy will crucify me. Eating my homemade ice cream patiently waiting for Ahdaisy's sermon... Be patient and pray...lol.
      N.B Aunty Eya, soon we will stop visiting this blog o if this is what we r subjected to read. Afi "help"!

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    5. emma boo4/16/2013

      Biodun, youre funny. Are you sure you went to UI? as in really? a mere boyfriend?????? and you quit your job? hian. I posted a general comment at the bottom of this page so you can look at it.

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  22. Anonymous3/26/2013

    Biodun, r u a baby? U r asking for help to go spend with that clown of yours? Leave him

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  23. Anonymous3/26/2013

    Come, Biodun, you mean a boyfriend asked you to leave your job and you did?

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    1. Anonymous3/26/2013

      Biodun, kindly leave Aunty Eya out of this. Do u no hw much she spends to run this blog? Internet subscription and fueling is enough headache in Naija.
      My 2 cents.

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  24. Goodness me! The sudden realisation that people are going through alot... This is sad but hatred is not the answer, i will go with myne on this one!

    God see you through!

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  25. Anonymous3/26/2013

    I accept all blames, i knew i made a lot of mistakes but God will help me.

    Biodun

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    1. kendra3/26/2013

      And u say u are a graduate? What stops u from job hunting? Even if it is a job thatwouldnt pay as much as ur last job? What stops u from leaving ur fiance? U are not even married to him and u. Taking all this trash? And quiting ur job for. A man u not ordained 2geda by God?if this story is true, Please,dump his ass,move back to ur parents house or with a friend and get a job. Start dating again and u might meet the right guy... Oh well,u know what's best for u.

      Delete
    2. Say whaaaaattttt?this actually made me laugh soo much!herh so girl's of ur type exist in this world?i swear u passed thru University and u didnt allow the University to pass thru u!
      who makes such a stupid and uninformed decision like that?and i am assuming u are living with him right?when he hasnt paid your dowry?what kinda message are u giving him?that u are very easy and available? ooo my dear ladies,when are we ever gonna learn?this girl just makes me sad.SMDH!!!!!

      Delete
  26. Anonymous3/26/2013

    babe, i feel dat since u jave decided u need no advice u may not want to come back here to read comments so as not to bump into wat d oda good part of ur heart as been wispering to u, bt i pray dat God will make u so curious u'll come back and read.
    pls, pls, and pls listen to ahdaishe(sorry if i miss splet) and oda good ppl here has said, forgive, dialouge and set ur heart free. Its hard but u have to. Forgiveness is not for d oda person dear, its for u, always for u and no one else. Dnt kindle into flame d fire dat unforgiveness brings or else it will get so much u wnt b able to quenche cos by den d devil would have taken ova frm were u stoped and make sure dat fire consumes u. Dere has neva been anythin good dat comes out of hate, and dere neva will be, its d hater dat gets tired.

    ReplyDelete
  27. My dear lady, I know you think you have it all figured out, but I plead with you in the name of God not to go ahead with the marriage without sorting out the issue with your fiance first. Take it from someone who has lived in a loveless marriage for 15 years. Hardly a week goes by that I don't regret marrying my husband. Trust me marriage is a different kettle of fish. For how long can you pretend? When I see other women discussing with their husbands I envy them. My husband finds it difficult to talk to our kids and myself. The worst part is that I knew I was making a mistake a week to my wedding, but I didn't have the guts to call it off, cos I didn't want my family disgraced. Do you know how many times I've dreamt about how my life may have turned out, if I hadn't married him? So many things I wish I could tell you. Please marry someone you love and who loves you, don't be hasty. Remember get married in a hurry and repent at leisure. I'm still repenting.

    ReplyDelete
  28. please my sister God will only help those that obey him.

    1. You are not suppose to be living with him cos has not paid ur bride price so leave his house at once back to ur parent's house.

    2. He is tired of ur liability and also for the fact that u r not his wife, he is not ready to spend much on u.

    3. Go back to God, ask for forgiveness and His direction.

    4. Start looking for a job and i blive u will get one soon.

    Please single ladies don't ever make the mistake of managing a relationship especially when ur boyfriend cheat on u cos he will surely do it wen u both r married. Don't even think that a man will change after he his married to u, it is only the Holy Spirit that can change a man.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous3/29/2013

    Pls confront him and hear him out. Then decide whether you really want to continue with the wedding. Marriage is trying enough without you adding your own agenda, believe me you'll end up hurting yourself more.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous4/01/2013

    Mehn , wen I hear wat pple go tru in dia marriages, it sends shivers down my spine, deres nuffing wrong if u get to trash dis issue out wit ur man b4 d wedding, I wonda y u still want to keep mute until afta ur wedding, or is it bcos u are 35 n u are probably thinking dat if u lose him , u mite not get anoda man? or u are scared of d embarrassment it wld cause ur family? U aint even bothered abt d future of your kids, abi, how are u supposed to raise kids wit such hatred built up in ur mind, meanwhile d guy is still flexing himself out dere,am a temperamental person too, but don't allow it av acertain control over me, u go jus get high bp for no jus cause.

    Then as for d lady who commented abt leaving her job bcos of one Mumu boyfriend, I wld say I lack words to describe ur actions, u blew up ur cash on him, while he ad his saved up, wat were u expecting wen u went to ask him for money?d one wey pain me pass, u leave ur job even wen ur parents advised u against it, and worst of all, if u eventually get to make money again, n e comes begging, u mite take him back. My dear love no exist like dat again, even as a married woman sef, u still need to work, cos u don't know when ur man will take u by surprise.

    Ladies shld learn to have some secret savings sumwia for the rainy days o. I wish all of us d best.#jussaying# mystic

    ReplyDelete
  31. Dear Poster, I realise that this post might be late, but I would like to add my 2 cents. I think you should confront him, but not with bitter words. Maybe when you give him his meal, serve the meal with the pictures by the side. Don't say a word! Let his reaction tell you all you need to know. I know it seems difficult to hold yourself, but please do. His reaction will tell you all you need to know.
    I also want you to realise that, as you are not perfect, no man is perfect. You only have to decide if you want to continue with him, or not. You can come to this decision based on his reaction. Please, do not enter marriage with anger and bitterness in your heart. Your kids will sense it in the future, and I'm sure you don't want them brought up like that. If you can't forgive him and move on, please end it now.

    ReplyDelete
  32. emma boo4/16/2013

    To the first lady, i believe its safer for you to discuss with the man before your marry. That you are 35 and single does not mean you should punish yourself in a loveless and hatefilled marriage. Marriage has its ups and downs and trust me, you wont want your marriage to be filled with downs all through.


    To Biodun, you are funny. You finished from a university...UI for that matter not all these fake unis in the middle of nowhere. My dear, you should be sharper than that. I dint go to an enlightening a university as UI and i cannot fall my hand like you just did. How will a mere boyfriend tell you to quit your job and you too will go like a lamb to the slaughter and quit your job. Ah!

    Instead of begging for money (cos i dont think anyone in his/her right mind will hear this your story and wanna invest in you...at least, i know i wont), why dont you look for a job. Go back to your parents, beg them. They will take you back. As for that silly boyfriend of yours, leave his house, leave him, delete his numbers from your phone. Cut all sort of cintact with him so you can move on.

    Finally, any boyfriend, fiance or husband that says you should not work...abeg, no answer am.

    ReplyDelete
  33. how cute, lovely pictures, will certainly kip these in brain, if u wanna kip in stroke, follow me on my blog and i will go behind right back.....winks

    leather briefcase

    ReplyDelete
  34. I can't help it but advice you, firstly pray and ask God for direction concerning this issue, gently confront him tell him he betrayed the trust you have for him. Man can only see a means to and end, but God sees several. Be strong my sister.

    ReplyDelete

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