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Dear Aunty Eya's Readers: Please help me with meaningful advise. Thanks.

Dear Aunty Eya,
Great job you are doing with your blog. Keep the flag flying high. Please i want you to help me post this on your blog for advice and advice me with a reply too.

I have been seeing this guy for about 8 months now and on the 30th of Dec, he told me that he has another girl he's been dating for 7 years. He said
the girl has been good to him and he knows she will make a good wife just the way he knows I will too but the problem is that she's not from the same tribe as him. He's Igbo which i am too and the other lady is Hausa and he wants to marry an igbo. The girl came to Nigeria  from UK to visit him and they went to his village together. He said that it means nothing and that he hasn't made up his mind to marry the girl cos he doesn't love her which i found very lame and silly. But one day i went through his chats with the girl and on three occasions, the girl told him "i love you" and he didn't respond. The girl in one of their chats told him that she knows he doesn't love her but that he should stop treating her the way he treats her.

On Sunday, we mistakenly exchange phones (we use the same phones) and i found out that they were calling each other hubby and wifey. He told her that he its not easy to marry an Hausa babe and they were already planning their lives together. I was not entirely shocked but i was mad at him for lying to me. I have been teasing and asking him to tell me if he has proposed to the girl and he kept telling me that he's not married to anybody. What hurts me most is that he made it look like both of us might still have a chance to be man and wife, One day i jokingly said his nephew will marry my future daughter and he replied sharply "what if i marry you?'

I've come to love this guy so much and whenever i imagine my marriage, it's him i always see as my hubby. he's got virtually all i want in a man. Our communication is almost perfect and we understand each other very well. 
He listens to me whenever i have anything to say even though he might not do what i want, he just listens and i like that.No matter how angry or upset i get him, he just keeps quiet and ignore me.He has never shown me any sign of violence, he tells me virtually everything. In my 8 months of dating him, i can say i know almost know every thing about him and he confirmed by telling me that no girl has ever gotten to know so much about him in a short period He told me that he could go on and on talking to me but with the other girl he's known for 7 years, they don't even talk up to an hour.

 Recently he said that if we don't end up together that he will be tempted to cheat on his wife with me and that if he has so much money, he will buy me a house, car and make me his forever so that i won't have to be with any other man. Then I asked him 'if you like me so much like this and i like you too, why can't we just be together forever?' and he couldn't answer.

Ok since after the Sunday incident, he hasn't called and i haven't either. I decided to seek the face of God (by praying and fasting) on the issue and even had to talk to a woman of God. She called me this morning and told me to pray that God should cause anyone holding what is mine to release it and she said that God confirmed to him that the guy is my husband and that the lady in question is a strange woman. I don't believe that one should go to a pastor to get revelation from God especially as regards marriage but because i'm in a very confused state, i had to go to the woman of God.

Please i need advice on what to do. I love this guy so much and won't want to loose him which it seems i have already. I have told God to give me a sign. Told him that if the guy is mine, let him call me before Sunday but if he isn't, he should should give me a clear sign and equally make me to accept the reality of loosing him. It took me more than 3 years to fall in love after my last relationship in 2009. My friend tells me that i'm too choosy and uptight, i tell her its not true that i simply know what i want and don't want to compromise. I grew up seeing my dad abuse my mom and that is not what i want to pass through so i'm very careful when it comes to men. This is the only guy that my heart opened up to and he broke down my defenses which i didn't have a problem with and now he's about to slip away from me. Aunty Eya please what do i do? Post it for your readers to advise me cos i'm lost. Thanks and God bless you.
Tessa.

Comments

  1. Anonymous3/14/2013

    Please, walk away with some pride left. It sounds like you are the other chick and are trying to break up a relationship of 7 years. The guy is being a typical guy wanting both of you and will marry the other lady. Dont you want your own man and not be in competition with someone else? Its never to late for God to give you the desires of your heart, if you have faith and patience.
    God has ask already spoken to your heart and you dont need to test him by asking for a sign. The devil can hear your prayers too and give you the sign your carnal mind is asking for. God will never give you something that belongs to another. Wisen up my sister and keep praying

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    1. As in ehn pls help me tell the babe oo.I don't wanna insult dis girl coz its obvious she's hurting but y don't u sit down and ask urself dat if the oda woman were to be the one writing this cry for help,wat do u think she would av said..my dear from the tone of ur writeup it seems u are desperate to marry dis man and d way am seeing u,u wud go to any length to marry him even if it means being fetish.but write dis down today,if u do dat u will only dig ur grave bcos I can bet my last kobo dat d guy wud cheat on u with dat girl,if nt impregnante her sef den u will see dat all dis sweet talk and love he's showing u will vanish.a word is enuf for d wise.walk away b4 its too late.God will give u ur own man who wud love u,don't be a home breaker coz dats wat I see u as.

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    2. me fetish and home breaker?? girl that was way out of line. if i wanted to be fetish, trust me you won't have read this post. pls mind the words you use on people especially people you don't know!!!

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    3. Ify dear, you can pass your message across without being that harsh and conclusive naa. A fetish person does not ask for advise from other women, she does her thing in the secrecy of her room and the babalawo and even the devil himself.
      Please be nice and kind, and chose words wisely. It doesn't pay to add hurt to hurt.

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    4. Anonymous3/16/2013

      Ify u re so not ok, did u bother to place ursef in her shoes?Is there any word like a home breaker in a relationship? @tessa dearie I know its difficult opting out of a cool relationship buh its better now dan later wen ur neck-deep, God bless u

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    5. ****Mufasa Said3/16/2013

      Ify I tink u shld shut it and stop being overly damatic. The lady simply asked 4 advise and ure here talkin trash. From all I read in ur comment u made no sense. The lady doesn't sound as desperate as u put it but is simply in love and is findn it hard to walk away.someone like u has obviously been in a troubling realtionship and is still search 4 a man rite nw. Nonsense girl! I dnt kw y we can't b sympathetic to eachoda! My Dear tessa eventually u might av to let go becoz men sometimes r sometin else. I av been in dat situation b4 and truth is even when he rili wanted 2 b wt me, there were odas tellin him dat I was being wicked 4 tryn 2 break an 8yr relationship and he shld b careful that I'm probably not 4 real. Eventually, one lil mistake I made made him walk out 4 good n no mata hw I tried 2 apologise dat was it.Mr man went back 2 Miss 8years.but I'm a happier wife nw and I kw everyting will also work out 4 ur good IJN, amen. No 2 scenarios r d same but I blve u shld seek God and nt blve dat d phone call thingy is d sign. Be more realistic my dear. May God help u

      ****Mufasa Said

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  2. Worried3/14/2013

    Dear Tessa, the pain i'm going thru in my own relationship this year is enough to make my comment biased. You brought tears to my eyes this evening becos I understand the dilemma u r in.

    Is he trying to play games with you two, so that later he settles with the one his family approves?
    He invited her down and took her home to meet his family, suddenly they now call themselves hubby and wifey?
    If he doesn't call you, please dear, don't throw yourself at him. She is long distance and he may just be using you due to her absence.

    Again, your presence here may give you an upper hand against her who is far away. But, come I gbo boys and their families eh? If his parents have given their blessings and urged them to go ahead, nothing you do can change him. Beware of prophetess o! Their statements are always ambiguous and mot times unreliable. I'll be praying for you Tessa.

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  3. He's not 4 u, beta make ursef available for love elsewhere. If possible be friends wit d guy & make him plan B, if u don't see a good guyout there.

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  4. Dear Tessa,

    Personally I would be wary of the guy in question. He tells you he has been dating her for 7 years, and also that she has been good to him so he knows she will make a good wife. Yet for the simple fact that she is Hausa he's looking for someone who is Igbo. There are two ways that can be interpreted..1) he is a time waster who is also likely to do same to you 2) he is lying to you.

    If a woman lives in the UK and came all the way to see him and go with him to his village ( despite your budding relationship with him) the handwriting is on the wall, wipe your tears, dry your eyes and read it.

    There is a very high probability that you are warming his bed in the absence of the woman he calls his wife already, she has after all met his family. He's still telling you 'what if I marry you?'

    The fact that you fell in love again after so long is a sign to you that it can happen again. However I would plead with you to walk away from this man because he has someone else. What goes around comes around.Dont try to steal his affections regardless of how much he encourages you. When your true husband comes you won't have to fight, everything would happen naturally.

    The longer you stay with him the longer you close the door against your real husband. It is hard but please pray to God for strength to go on.

    The prophetess told you what you wanted to hear, don't allow her confuse you. Walk away. If by any remote chance we are wrong and he really wants to marry you, giving him space would help him make an informed choice and come to you if he really thinks you're the one for him.

    I know how you must feel right now and I pray that God gives you the strength to do the right thing. May God hasten the steps of your true husband towards you, and heal your heart in readiness for him. Amen.

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  5. My dear u're in love with one of the smartest men around. Don't be fooled by him being to open with u when it comes to the other girl,its a proved fact ladies tend to fall easily in love with men who av something to say about their past and who tend to be quite open to u about their past relationships.
    I can tell a girl,infact I do tell girls at first meeting d day and how I lost ma innocence,and I'll not telk u howmany times I went dat way. But dat doesn't meab I av anything for u. Believe me if he's dating anoda lady asides the one u know he will keep dat a top notch secret.
    He's preparing a safe landing,he doesn't want to loose anything,he's planning his future at the expense of d ur confused state. He wants to gain on both sides,there's an option which am sure the other lady offers him which u don't,and there's something u offer which d oda lady can't. My dear don't be surprised it might be the mere fact dat u're Igbo just like him.
    I see more possiblity of him marrying d oda lady,tben cheating on her with u,and this he's planning so well by being very loving and good to u,so when d time comes,when he visits he will tell u a story of how close u were then,and u'll endup giving him sympathy sex.
    My dear the choice is your's to make its either he proposes to u,or u moveon. Ur 13Oclock is already approaching, unless u're prepared to play 2nd fiddle.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    1. Anonymous3/15/2013

      Well said Bona, your head is there!

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  6. Anonymous3/15/2013

    Tessa! Tessa! Tessa! Lift ur defences back up. That guy is deceiving u and he is a very indecisive person. Sounds like someone I might know. If his surname starts with O, hit the reply button!! Lool

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    1. Yes his surname starts with O and his dad owns a company.

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    2. Anonymous3/15/2013

      Everyone's dad cld own a company. If his first name starts with O, and his middle name starts with L, and the father's company strts with W, then he might be the person we all know. O can't publish such here abt his person if it is not directly related to u. But if u answer in d affirmative, then good, will tell u what u already know

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    3. OMG!! his middle name starts with L and his dad's coy starts with W. think we are talking about the same person. tell me more pls.lol

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    4. Anonymous3/15/2013

      God loves u my dear! Thank God. U wanted an answer, He has long given u a sign. it is not by my might at all. Still in doubt? His other name is Luke. Want to know more? Tell me d name of d coy then I will be sure it's same person.

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    5. Hm, tell me something. My amebo radar is up. Lemme go and make some popcorn, and grab my coke. BRB!

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    6. write me: tessawrites51@gmail.com if u want. this is a public place you know.

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    7. Shayor3/16/2013

      Nooooo! Spill the gist here now! Dis is getting interesting jor! *sadface* Anyways babes, before u even hear d gist, wt else do u need? D handwriting isn't only on d wall, its on d ceiling, in ur bath, everywhr! The guy is a player, he is cheating on a lady he's known for 7yrs!!! And u r still hopeful? Pls dear, RUN!!

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  7. Dear writer and how would you feel if you were dating someone for 7 years and he decides to marry someone he's been seeing for just 8 months??.. If you have a conscience and know what Karma is then you know what the right thing to do is..

    you even praying about it saying he is your man is very unfair haba! put yourself in her shoes..fine the man dint tell you initially but you just have to do the right thing

    Wish you all the best...

    And ladies if a guy has been dating you for over 3 years pounding you like no man's biz and he's not showing any sign of commitment well na you kno ohhh real men nowadays know what they want..they see it and go for it dont waste your time..

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  8. Sorry, I am gonna be kinda harsh with you. Since you are not married to him yet, you need to get some things into ur skull now so that later we will not have to comment on ur post-marriage problem here. Sorry :-) .

    You sound kinda desperate to be with this guy and babe, that is a bad sign. Once you become a desperado with someone who is not as desperate as you are, you end up hurting yourself.

    1. First of all, the guy is a cheat. You are the one he cheated on his girlfriend with.

    2. He is a liar. No Igbo boy goes to HIS VILLAGE with a girl he doesn't want to marry. I am Igbo so I know. Igbo boys find it hard to introduce non-igbo women to their families let alone carry her to his village.

    3. Your telling God to give you a physical sign is setting up yourself for failure. You have listed above several signs that God has given you to end the relationship, yet you are looking for an extra one. The devil will sharply take advantage of that. Trust me, HE WILL CALL YOU ON OR BEFORE SUNDAY. And you'll thank God for a sign which the devil has conveniently planted.

    4. 8 months to me is not enough to know everything about someone. Even people who have been married for donkey years do not completely know their spouses so dnt pride yourself on knowing him very well in such a short time. If you know him as well as you claim, you would know exactly what is going on with him and the girl.

    5. Your communication is not as perfect as you think. All those 'no answers' that he is giving you speak more than the answers he has given.

    6. Which one is a strange woman? One you have know for 7 years, not from your tribe but you can marry, or the one you have just known for just 8 months?

    Pls dnt become someone else's prayer point and testimony. “How God saved me from a woman who came to confuse my husband"!!!

    Since you are a Christian, if you are filled with the Holy Spirit, listen to your heart, your gut feeling, that tugging feeling at the back of your head, that's the Holy Spirit! Some times we drown His voice with our selfish fleshly thoughts and desires.

    In summary, my advice to you is, don't set yourself up for failure. If it feels wrong, it most likely is!

    *Passes the mic...* Lol


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    1. mizOsa3/15/2013

      @Ahdaisy jayde I love reading ur comment cus you alwz hit d nail on d head. U ae gifted joorr. Hav u ever thought of becoming a counselor??????

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    2. Hmm...now that you've said it, I think I just might! Is there money in it? Loolz, just kidding. Thanks.

      It's God o..and my parents sha. Cos if my Dad should counsel you eh, you go believe! Even ppl older than him come to him for advice and I love listening to him too.

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  9. Anonymous3/15/2013

    @Jayde, I love ur advice. You've said it all.

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  10. Thank you all for your advice, i'm drawing strength from them. well i've decided to let go and let God do his will. i've just been too scared to admit that i was used as a side chick. my pride and emotions won't let me think straight but i know better now. I've thought about the other girl and actually put myself in her shoes and i know letting go a 7 year relationship won't be easy for me. This has got to be the hardest decision i will make in a very long while but like the saying goes 'sometimes the hardest decisions are the best'. My own man is on the way i believe and when he shows up, there will be no drama.
    Thanks everyone, may God bless us all.

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    1. Anonymous3/15/2013

      Good Tessa u made that decision! Cus he is married. A marriage of convenience or circumstance, whatever it is, it's still marriage. Pls leave that man for that Babe. He will be an ingrate to leave her! And if u join, u cld carry a curse on ur head. No pretense, they all know. God bless u.

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  11. Anonymous3/15/2013

    dear pls walk away, d man wants to eat his cake and have it. Either u or d oda will loose. Even if he marries u, dere is no guarantee he wnt stop seeing her. I like it wen ppl get to be shown signs of how rong things can go if dey dnt make d rite decision. A man dnt have to be violent for him not to be a good hubby material, hard as it may be, pls walk away with pride. He has only shown dat he has d capability of fooling u. Trust me, if u walk away he just might b forced to choose. Bt dnt make him choose u. God bless and help u, always rememba dat only God can give u ur own and only Him can help u out of wat is not, open ur eyes and read btw d line

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  12. Anonymous3/15/2013

    Nice words Jayde,

    When I read through, I felt as if it was me writing. 4 years ago, I met a naval doctor just after school. We became close and started dating. After some months words like 'he wants to marry me', 'baby, see our picture we ll have 9s kids', 'my mom ll love u bc u r from her side' etc began to ring in my ears. I became so "in love" and tangled with him that all his superiors knew me.

    But deep down sth was wrong in my heart. We were from different religious backgrounds. While that won't mean much to pple, to me it meant a lot. But I was willingly to find a middle ground.

    Then one fateful day, I heard d mom asking him about his marriage rites, when they wld commence it........ He assured her it wld be soon. She even asked if he had seen sm1 else as they cld pause 4 him to be sure. He just said 'pray 4 me mom'. That ws wh he told me that he ws engaged to a lady in east b4 being to deployed to lag whr we met. And while preparing for the introduction, the lady lost her mother and they had to pause everytg till after the burial and mourning rites.

    Then he met me and became confused, bc he thinks I ll make a better wife. Going thro his phone, I saw plenty bluffs he has given the lady and the offhanded 'lv u too'.

    I thot abt it 4 long and decided it wasn't worth it. He once loved this girl dearly. This girl just lost her mother, I can't imagine if she loses her fiance again. He didn't cm out true to me initially, so hw can I trust him. Our faith differs.

    So I began to distance myself and even do things that I knew he disliked. Finally, I left d city, then he married he. I wasn't too happy bt I wasn't too sad also.

    Now, I'm happily married myself to a man I'm sure loves me more than I love him. He might nt be an officer but he has his own worth. And my heart is @ peace that what I have is mine. And we are expecting our first baby.

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  13. Anonymous3/15/2013

    Nice words Jayde,

    When I read through, I felt as if it was me writing. 4 years ago, I met a naval doctor just after school. We became close and started dating. After some months words like 'he wants to marry me', 'baby, see our picture we ll have 9s kids', 'my mom ll love u bc u r from her side' etc began to ring in my ears. I became so "in love" and tangled with him that all his superiors knew me.

    But deep down sth was wrong in my heart. We were from different religious backgrounds. While that won't mean much to pple, to me it meant a lot. But I was willingly to find a middle ground.

    Then one fateful day, I heard d mom asking him about his marriage rites, when they wld commence it........ He assured her it wld be soon. She even asked if he had seen sm1 else as they cld pause 4 him to be sure. He just said 'pray 4 me mom'. That ws wh he told me that he ws engaged to a lady in east b4 being to deployed to lag whr we met. And while preparing for the introduction, the lady lost her mother and they had to pause everytg till after the burial and mourning rites.

    Then he met me and became confused, bc he thinks I ll make a better wife. Going thro his phone, I saw plenty bluffs he has given the lady and the offhanded 'lv u too'.

    I thot abt it 4 long and decided it wasn't worth it. He once loved this girl dearly. This girl just lost her mother, I can't imagine if she loses her fiance again. He didn't cm out true to me initially, so hw can I trust him. Our faith differs.

    So I began to distance myself and even do things that I knew he disliked. Finally, I left d city, then he married he. I wasn't too happy bt I wasn't too sad also.

    Now, I'm happily married myself to a man I'm sure loves me more than I love him. He might nt be an officer but he has his own worth. And my heart is @ peace that what I have is mine. And we are expecting our first baby.

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    1. Anonymous3/15/2013

      Wow, God bless you for sharing this. I just learnt something.

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  14. Anonymous3/15/2013

    Aunty Eya, pls pardon me for writing here. I need advice ladies. Am a 30yrs old virgin, you can never know because am very open and stylish lol. I mistakenly told a friend about being a virgin and wanting to wait till I get married,since then she's been pressuring me and telling me stuffs that no guy will want to wait till the wedding nite. I've been into relationships but never anytin serious. I just want to know are there still guys out there who can wait and date a virgin? Tayo

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    1. Anonymous3/16/2013

      There are guys that would appreciate it ooo! Look, I wish I still had my virginity, can buy yours at any price...pls don't let ur frd deceive you, don't give ur virginity to just anybody. Your husband would cherish you forever if u give it to him, considering ur age, its very rare..so dear, don't listen to ur frd ok? Don't give ur pride to the dogs.

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  15. Anonymous3/16/2013

    Tessa! I will tell you a bit of my story which is similar to yours. I met my man and we dated for over one year next thing I know his friend tells me he has a serious babe I had never seen or heard of, he also said she was serving that's why I had never met her, I asked him and he said its true. Not long after I start seeing her around and I became the second babe (what we do for love) mind you am not that type of girl, I have a lot of self confidence and pride so you can imagine what this type of relationship was to me absolute HELL. My best friend knows am a fighter and she cheered me on.
    We quarreled for a year when I couldn't take it anymore and he was looking for me like he lost something precious meanwhile marriage wasn't on my mind so I was ready to move on. Eventually we made up and we are married for 15yrs and I must add HAPPILY.

    My advice to you, nothing good comes easy, stay and fight for your man, love him, care for him. But the minute he gets married to the other lady, avoid him, its over. He is not married so enjoy and hope for the best and I wish you LUCK.

    NB: be vigilant, its not what he says that matters but what he does.

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  16. Anonymous3/16/2013

    Didn't u read one of the previous replies from that Anon that he is married to that girl in the Uk?

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    1. Anonymous3/16/2013

      Sorry I don't have the time to read everybody comment and reply them all, of cause except its directed at me. Thanks for letting me know.
      I also said the minute the gets married she should avoid him.

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  17. Angeleyez3/16/2013

    Tessa honey, I just read your story today and I hope my contribution would help you or other ladies in similar predicaments.

    I can't emphasize enough the importance of building your marriage on the right foundation! For any marriage to endure the fiery darts of "life" ladies please marry a man who:1. Has the fear of God in his heart; 2. LOVES you like his life depends on it and; 3.is established enough to take care of himself and you, and a baby should that happen sooner than expected. I'm not saying you must marry a millionaire but marry a man who has attained enough to be a focused family oriented man. A man with bright prospects makes an excellent date, a man who has accomplished most of his goals makes a husband material(my opinion)

    As a lady you must have standards and your man must know and respect them. You didn't specify your age range but if you are considering marriage then you should be old enough to let your man know you've past the stage where one man would juggle you with one or two or more ladies. Once you find yourself in a relationship you know you deserve better yet you are too scared to walk out, then you know you are in the wrong place. A man who knows a lady has the gutts to bounce if he doesn't treat her right, will respect her. Men respond to consequences. If he is getting away with eating his having it, why should he stop? We know how men are, so aiming at being the only woman in his life MAY be a tall order but let him know you are way too fabulous and you love yourself too much to share your man with another woman. What that does is he upholds you like his only woman and if he has to "play rough" it would be under a lot of tension and anxiety because he loves you too much to lose you, if he doesn't then love isn't there. Why settle for less?

    Bonario made a very objective comment, especially being a man. He knows men better and the games they play. Have you ever wondered why your man still maintains that relationship after all these years? A man who really wants to marry you doesn't need one year to know! You guys may date longer but trust me he already knows if you are the one or not. So all these "what if I marry you?" Lines are just used to keep you hooked because he knows you love him too much and still remain with him even when he openly flaunts his other relationship. Do you think a man who loves you will start preparing for your "mistresship" while hoping to marry another? Honey, that right there is all the sign you need! How insulting to seduce you with a car and a house @ the cost of your womanhood? When God blesses you, you can afford all that and much more.

    As for "men or women of God" who use God's words as oracles to know "strange women" and "familiar women" please be cautious! A friend who went "seeking" was told by one that the man in her life is the right one for her. Another "pastor" told her he isn't. So which way to go?

    Honey I think your prayer should be that God should make the person you end up marrying the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh, if not, the union should never reach the stage of marriage, unless he is the one.

    Sorry for the epistle. Lol! Am very passionate about ladies making the right decisions. I hope you do too. Have an amazing weekend honey. *hugs*

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  18. Anonymous4/17/2013

    In the name of God, ignore some of these 'prophets' that lead people into trouble, using the phrase "God said". What kind of "god" tells you that the woman who has been there for 7 yrs is the strange woman? I'm sorry, but YOU are the strange woman in this situation! If you were the daughter or younger sister of this 'woman of God', would she be OK with seeing you in pain, whilst she claims "God said"?

    I have serious issues with this "God said" business. I see it as an attempt to control - actually a form of witchcraft. This person isn't sharing the heartbreak with you, yet they can tell you "God said he is your husband". Even if you do marry him, no pastor will live inside the marriage with you - and they will certainly not be there, should he begin to cheat on you. The guy has shown he can and will cheat in a marriage - he's already doing so. A piece of jewellery will not suddenly make him a one-woman man! Many women have had their lives destroyed by this craziness. He has already taken the girl to his village - what do you think she went as, his long-lost twin sister? If care is not taken, you will receive his wedding IV, and you will still be believing "God said". Don't let someone who will not bear the consequences with you, mess up your life - simply because they have a title.

    I personally do not believe that God 'orders' people to get married. I've read the Bible and the only person I read that God told to marry someone was Hosea - to a prostitute. None of these people who claim to hear "God said" seem to have heard they should marry a runs-girl or a prostitute that stands on the road. So, why should I believe such a thing? Many who do believe such, are reaping the fruits of that; and they are not good fruits. A good friend of mine was told by some guy (who had liked her for 5 yrs) that "God said you are my wife." She said "I haven't heard such from God" and I kid you not - bobo was married to someone else within 4 months! Which 'god' spoke? And on another level, he had liked her for 5 yrs (although she was totally oblivious to it), so why won't he start hearing what he wants to hear? I've just been speaking to a number of women and their marital experiences of "God said" - only one of them has a good story to tell. All the others have suffered all kinds of abuse, and some are even divorced by those same men who claim "God said you are my wife." Pastors and bishops are divorcing their wives in Nigeria, wickedly using "God said I should divorce her" as their reason. After a woman gives you 20 years of her life, instead of being honest and saying "I want to play the field and act like a buffoon", you insult her intelligence and insult God by claiming He asked you to divorce her! On Myne Whitman's blog, I read of a lady who's been married for a long time (14 years, this year) who appeared to be the only one in her family, who didn't go a-consulting. Her elder sister did (to those who claim they heard God) - she is a divorcee now, after less than 3 yrs of marriage. Her younger sister did the same (they were even more stringent) and is a widow today - that marriage didn't even clock 3 years. All the people who claim they heard God for the sisters, didn't see/hear this part? She (the middle sister) who blatantly refused to do any of that craziness, is still happily married.

    The point of this long essay is "Do not allow anyone wreck your life because they claim they heard God - especially when what you know, is contrary to what they are claiming they heard."

    ReplyDelete
  19. Verere7/10/2014

    Ah Miz Jayde, U said it all! Right on girl. Hmmm Tessa, its gud U av made such a great decision. Ur heart is in d right place my dear.
    Verere.

    ReplyDelete

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