Showing posts with label relationship tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship tips. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

I Did As He Wanted, Now He Contacts Me Again?

Hello Aunty Eya and fellow blog readers, I need you all now please.
Nine months ago I made the biggest mistake of my life! I was in love with a married man who said he loved me too. The relationship lasted 3 years before we had a big quarrel I very selfishly told his wife about our relationship! I was such a fool and I've felt guilty ever since. They were both very very  angry but she eventually forgave him and took him back. 

He contacted me and said he never wanted to see, smell or hear from me again and that I meant nothing to him! I was totally heart broken and hurt, depressed for a while but I did as he asked and backed off.

 I made no contact with him, I left well alone! Then about 3 weeks ago, I started receiving emails from an unknown email address and they said they were a friend of my ex and that he had asked them to contact me to

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

He Suddenly Wants Us To Be Friends, What Did I Do Wrong?

Dear Aunty Eya,
I'm in my late twenties,and still an undergraduate due to delay..I'm in love with this guy and he is in his early thirties, we met 8months ago,became friends for a month and started dating the next month,approximately, we are 7months old in the relationship already...I can say he loves me because he was fond of me and always want me to be around him...I got to meet his family,his mom,sister,nephew and his cousins,we got so connected that I fell inlove completely with him...5months into the relationship was awesome, I already believe he was God - sent to me,cos he matched all the description of what I desire in my Man.

.6months into the relationship,he began to be withdrawn gradually, he stopped calling me as often again, initially I thought maybe because we were not sexually‎ attached (we agreed to abstain frm sex),not knowing his ex was in the picture all the time, when I got to know abt his ex being around him,he apologised,then I forgave him and we continued but it's was the same as the way we started,which one of cause can't be possible because I know relationship grow from one stage to another..

Going into the 7th month, our

Friday, March 20, 2015

Do You Compare Your Partner? Drop The Fantasy

Do you still compare
Comparison in a relationship is a disease which can plague anybody, regardless of status, colour, or race. It is that feeling that what the other person has, is better than yours, and you wished it was yours, so you begin to despise what you do have.
It's easy for people who do not have to deal with your shortcomings and imperfections on a daily basis to 'admire' you or think they are in love with you- because such feelings come with no responsibilities attached- it's free, easy and stressless- no demands. But as soon as the novelty of perfection wears off, because of the demands and expectations which come with the daily grind of living together, some go looking for the next perfect deal- perhaps another girl/woman who seems like the onion rings in the pizza, or the boy/man who makes you feel all tingly because of the nice way he talks to you. Comparison is deadly.

Like I wrote once, offences test relationships. It's easy to act all nice when everything seems rosy, but when you rub someone off the wrong way, or push them beyond their comfort zone, you will know if their humanity is humane or nasty!
Much as I love my hubby and he loves me, we

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Not Pregnancy Hormones, I Have No Feelings For Him

The Last Time We Kissed Was Our Wedding Day...

I really need your sisterly advice as well as my fellow blog very sad and I just want to be happy..Am 27,got married 3months ago,i married my husband simply bcos I got pregnant and vowed never to abort again...please dnt let me go into details on how the issue of pregnancy came about but I never loved him while dating,nothing about him attracts me,let me just say I dated him then just not to be lonely cos I was a victim of emotional abuse coupled with series of abortion from my previous relationship.

He's a very good man,hardworking, godfearing ,and he loves me with is whole heart just name it,but I just don't love him,ive tried all my possible best,prayed, and I thought things will get better after we get married that i'll learn to love him but is getting worst.


Thursday, January 15, 2015

Because of His Child Or Love For Me? What Do You Guys Think?

Good day ma,
I must say you are doing a great job and I await your recipes each day.
Am in a very tight situation now. I dated a guy for 2years, we got engaged but broke the engagement. After a while we got back together and things became good for us, fastforward to some months later, we had issues again,we both were at fault and we broke up again!

 I found

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Not Just One Of His Friends, I Want Balance In My Life This Year, Please Help!

Should I Move On Or Work On Our Friendship?

Good day Aunty Eya,

Happy Sunday and hope your family is fine.
Please I crave anonymity in this epistle that I am about to write.
I have known a young man for about two -three years now and at first when we met, he was blowing hot and cold so I moved on from the friendship with him, tagging him as not serious. Early last year, after I had deleted his contact and moved on, he contacted me and that was when I was involved in an accident.

 All through my stay at home and my rounds at the hospital, he calls and checks up on me, many of my friends didn't do that so, I valued his friendship more. I returned to work and we still continued our friendship till sometime in September he asked that we start a relationship. I agreed and we took it steady but my problem however was, this young man is very detached. He calls everyday at that time and we speak alot but we hardly saw eachother even though we lived in the same state, and when we pay each other visits we hardly talk to each other, we just browse and check out blogs and watch series on television. One day, I had gone to see him and in my presence he called a cousin of his, and because he was supposed to drop me off somewhere on the Island, he said to his cousin that 'he had to drop one of his friends off at the island and after that they'd meet up.' I had a huge problem with that statement, why did he refer to me as, 'one of his friends?' I decided at that point to create some kind of distance, 'why didn't he refer to me as his girlfriend?' I won't bore you with details of my looks. 

So, I

Help! This Relationship Is Choking

Good evening everyone. Compliment of the season. I need advice from married and matured people please.
I'm 20 something year old and have been with this guy for 6 years ( in fact, it's the only relationship I have in). We have been engaged for 2 years, getting ready to get married by first week May 2015. The problem is that I'm frustrated and depressed about the whole thing. Why?
This guy is 32 years but he behaves like a child. Early in the relationship and till now, he made me chase away all my friends.

 I stayed without friends but just him. I couldn't go anywhere apart from school, work and church. Even at that, he will call me until my phone dies, he will question every move I make and why I don't pick his call even if it's 1 miss call. He doesn't trust me too, when I'm answering a call around him, his attitude changes and he won't talk to me until I give him all the attention and follow him around. If I'm chatting or replying sms, he will be looking into my phone and same his attitude changes. He goes through my emails, chats whenever I'm not looking.

He is so self centred that he wants everything to be about him. Every time we argue and quarrel, at first my family said I'm difficult to be with because this guy sounds so nice and caring. Until I stayed with my mum and she started seeing how depress I am and the constant argument.
I have lost

Monday, December 22, 2014

He Loves Me, I Love His Friend; Domestic Violence Plus More Mails

‎Poster 1.  Hello Aunty Eya,compliment of the season, my name in my early 20s,working with a federal govt parastatal,I met this wonderful colleague of mine January this year and we became pretty close(all this time I was single) he had a girlfriend but she was a christian and he is a Muslim. 

People started seeing the chemistry between us but I never saw it,some of our colleagues will even tell us we are going to eventually get married, all I knew was I cared so much about him. Fast forward to 6mnths later,my colleague's friend saw my pic on his phone and insisted he wanted to meet me, I met him and before I knew what was happening we started dating . 

Two months into the relationship,i discovered his friend wasn't the kind of man I wanted,but I kept quiet about it,i wanted to handle it my way until my friend/colleague couldn't hide his feelings anymore and he told me he loved me,he had alwais loved me, I blamed him for keeping quiet and he reminded me of the day he asked me if I could date him and my reply was NO, because I thought he was joking that day.

Now my friend/colleague is single,he is in love with me but am with his friend even though I want to leave his friend and nothing has really happened between me and his friend,i have told him we can't be together but we can't hide what we feel.for each other. Am confused I don't know the next step to take.

Poster 2.  Aunty Eya good morning, aw is ur family? Pls can you

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Staff Cannot Marry Policy, What Can I do?

Eya Goodday ,how is your family ? Pls i need advice from matured mothers . Am a 29 yr old lady .working with The Federal Govt . While in the University, i dated a guy , we were very fund of each other, after university he started behaving funny ,i could not handle the way he follows me about . We broke up. 

After some months i met another guy from the eastern part of Nigeria , we fell in love and promised marriage , i brought him home to meet my parents cos he said he wanted to meet with them . To cut the long short , we travelled to see his mother, he has no father only for his mother to say she doesn't want her son to marry from my tribe Edo state . He promised talking to his mother and continued to asure me.But one day  he called me after some months to say he is sorry that the marriage cannot work out again cos he can't have two women who will be so dear to him not be able to live together. For that reason he ended the relatioship .

 I was

Pregnancy Weight, Romantic Husband Plus More

1. Hi aunty Eya. Hope yoџ and your family are doing great?. Please i'†ђ3 like to be anonymous.
I've been married for just 2years n my marriage isn't what ℓ̊ want it to be. My husby isn't romantic and is soo nonchalant about it. I try buh he is not encouraging me. I buy him gifts on both val day and his birthday buh he does reciprocate. even ordinary txt he won't send. I've talked to him about it and he was like those things don't matter, buh those littlr little things matter to me. We are young buh am certain our parents share more love than us. Please what can i do to gain his full attention, to make him appreciate me, to be romantic? Pls help!

2. Dear aunty Eya, pls I will be very glad if you can post this anonymously on the blog. I gave birth last month through CS so I wasn't allowed to do most of the therapy a new mum does to get back in shape but I am really anxious to get my shape back especially my tummy. What should I do pls? Is it ok to go on a diet since exercise is out for at least 3-6 months. Thanks so much.
Verere @

3. My marriage is one year, and I have been trying to conceive from onset. But nothing yet. Pls I need average priced, good fertility hospital in Lagos that I can go. And name of any doctor there that will attend and listen to me. Pls help post this on your blog.

4. I'm a secret reader of this blog.  Pls permit to use this medium. I'm  31yrs  guy, from Aks but reside in Imo. I need a lady within

Thursday, November 20, 2014

He Wants Marriage And Kids First, I Want My PhD First...

What if he stops me after we are married? What if i begin to resent him later on?

Hello...i stumbled on this blog through the internet and i decided to go thru it and i must say that i am pleased with it. I need advice because i am somewhat confused...i have been dating this wonderful man for a couple of years now,i knw his family members and they are wonderful people,my dilemma is this...

i have always dreamed of goin for my Phd and presently i am on my masters,i am pretty young. My boyfriend is nt too comfortable with me doing my Phd after my masters, he feels we shuld get married first in lyk 2 years time and after a kid or 2, i can start my Phd but i really wanna start before marriage then i can get married while on it (this is because i know we are both not ready for marriage until like 2 or 3 years time so i am like, why shouldn't I?)  he feels family should come first, i agree but i am not married yet and would like to pursue my dreams 

...i am afraid because if i don't start and i get married, what if things
don't go as planned and I can't do it? 

what if he stops me after we are married? What if i begin to resent him later on? 

I am young, he is young, there is no rush,i am 22 & he is 24. Because we aint in the same country cos i left for

Genotype SS And AA Can I Date Him?

Good evening Aunty Eya,i'm in mid-twenties and I have not been lucky with relationships even despite my love and sacrifice! Had my last breakup since may and I'm yet to go into another relationship...

but early september,i met with this guy and we've been good friends,i like him and he likes me too...just last month,he asked that we date....The clause here now is that he is SS and I am AA...please I need your advice on whether to go ahead and date him or not...

I'm really

Friday, November 14, 2014

Got No Advice, Now We Are Engaged, About To Propose, What Should I Do?

Anuty Eya I sent you a mail last year before I got engaged to the guy I was talking about but you didnt paste it. Finally am engaged to the guy, getting married soon but I still need advice on how to manage our sexual activity. Plus did I mention the guy doesnt stay in Nigeria, so its not as if I ve been with him all these while. Please I need candid advices. Hide ma details oooo.

NOW: Dear Anuty Eya,please hide my details. I have been a silent reader of your blog. I wish to commend your good work. I am a young lady of 24yrs, have graduated and served. Looking for work.

 I met this young man whom i wish to settle down with. He is tall, handsome,has a good heart and above all a staunch catholic. But the problem now is that i found out that he has a small penis size ( not so small but not as big as i like) and ejaculates even before we start making out. i want to knw if it is

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

How Do I Say No Without Hurting?

Good evening Aunty Eya and all wives connection family. I have a challenge and need your advice and that of blog members.

I have been in a relationship with my fiancee for close to 8years now. NB i met him when i just finished secondary school and was seeking for admission into the university. I was really young then so he decided not to do anything sexual to me(was a virgin n still am). He has been there for me and by God's grace we are having our introduction this december and marriage next year.

I started attending my church few months before i met my fiance as i said before i was quite young and didnt show him off cos i was worried people will think that as small as i was, i was already into a man without knowing there was no sexual attachment.

To cut the story short, a brother

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Is It Wrong Not To Support This Wedding?

I saw this comment by an anonymous reader and didn't know what to say so I didn't reply. Can anyone help with advise please:

Good morning everyone. My sister is getting married soon but am not happy. My sister met a young man and they started a relationship. Introduction was fixed and a wedding date. The church demanded for a HIV test and the man tested positive. 

My sister is negative. We all now kicked against the wedding. But she insisted. That nothing is going to change her mind she must marry this guy. 

We all thought maybe she has been exposed to the virus that's why she wants to marry him. 4months after she took another test still negative. 2 months after that still negative. But my sister still insists on marrying him. 

I know HIV is

Saturday, September 06, 2014

She Is Five Years Older, Should I Proceed Or Withdraw?

Good morning aunty eya how's your family I have a problem I'd like you to put up on your blog for discussion I am a student and I am in a very serious and comiitted relationship.

 early last I found out this girl was five years older than I am though she doesn't look it!I battled with it for a while and then I let it slide. the issue is I love this girl so much I'd love to marry her after school but till now we have never discussed age together but we re intimate on other issues. something tells me she knows I am younger but she really doesn't Act it and of recent that feeling has come back again,though we have been through thick and thin ve got this feeling that when we officially get to talk about our ages she would leave me so am really troubled.what should I do!

Eya's Reply:
Hi, sorry

Thursday, August 28, 2014

How Do I Relate With Him To Ensure Peace, Harmony?

 Dear Aunty Eya,
Thankyou very much for what your blog is doing. I cant wait to get married and having a colourful and tasteful kitchen from all the recipes. The advice on your blog is always matured, practical and effective. Also the kitchen recipes are so economical. Just saw a fresh pepper sauce and i am like wow.

 Cos i have been wondering how i will manage fresh pepper when i get married because i live fresh pepper and as my job is very demanding, i wont be able be going to the market always.My bookmarks are filled with alot of your pages.

Sorry for that long gist now the issue at hand. I am Igala lady dating

Friday, August 22, 2014

Genotype Notwithstanding, A Break Up Not An Option For Us

Good morning Mrs Eya, I read some stories on ur blog. Pls I need your help my fiancee and I are both AS, our wedding is scheduled for November this year. I read about the CVS test on your blog, pls can you enlighten more about the test cos we are both interested as a break up is not an option for us here. Thanks for your help and we are eagerly awaiting your reply.


Hi, your wedding is scheduled for November, meaning you still have a chance but you say a break up is not an option? Honestly, I think it's better to break up now than live in pain and fear. What happens when...

Love alone is not enough when it concerns sickle cell kids. I know there is nothing God cannot do for you and that's why he allowed Science to discover these things, so, a stitch in time can save nine. The stress from kids who are say frequently sick  and all is enough to shake the very foundations of any marriage. The love you confess for your fiance, is it enough to take you through the storms? This is an avoidable storm by God's grace. It is stress waiting to happen except God intervenes and gives you all AA kids or you decide not to have children. The test you mentioned, is it the one where a sickle cell unborn baby is aborted before delivery date. I like to ask this question ... How many can/will you abort?

When you say a break up is not an option, is she pregnant?

If you truly love your fiance, if she is not pregnant, why not set her free from this thing waiting to happen? The test, is done abroad, is your wife-to-be going to have all her babies abroad? The decision rests on you two. 

My advise is that you both sit down and look at it again. Are you sure this love will see you through just incase?

Dear poster,

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

My Fiance Arrested For Molesting A Fifrteen Year Old, I Need Quick Advice

Hello  ma and Wc
I dont know if this is a proper medium for this but i have to get it out.

As I speak to you my boyfriend or should i say fiance is at the station because he had sex with a 15 year old girl.  He claims  it was a one time thing but the girl in question said they have been doing it.

 Peeps from his church are

Monday, July 21, 2014

I'm In Love With And Loved By A Divorcee, CONFUSED

I am a silent reader who has been visiting your blog for 2years now. And it has been an eye opener to married life even before venturing. 

Even scared of getting married because of so many bad and failed marriages but God will see me through.

Am dating this man, a divorcee with 3 kids for close to 2 years now and I have fallen completely in love with him regardless of his complicated life and I believe he is in love too. Whenever we are together I feel so happy and different (the feeling is natural). We rarely argue or quarrel.  Now he is very serious about settling down with me but am not certain this is what I want. Am scared and afraid. I have turned down his proposal about marriage before but he never gives up.

He is a very handsome, humble, caring, hardworking, very rich, romantic, very domesticated, funny, intelligent and a religious man who respects me and treats me like a queen. One of my problems are, he labelled his ex wife evil, wicked,not a good cook and she hated his family etc.

He told me he tried teaching her how to cook but she didn't learn. Of course the story is one sided and he said he has never laid his hands on her ever (domestic violence).

At the moment, the wife is tormenting him with the kids and its weighing him down. I haven't met any of his cute children at all.

A friend's friend told me he was constantly cheating on his ex wife with this particular girl. Even to the
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