Showing posts with label relationship tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship tips. Show all posts

Staff Cannot Marry Policy, What Can I do?

Eya Goodday ,how is your family ? Pls i need advice from matured mothers . Am a 29 yr old lady .working with The Federal Govt . While in the University, i dated a guy , we were very fund of each other, after university he started behaving funny ,i could not handle the way he follows me about . We broke up. 

After some months i met another guy from the eastern part of Nigeria , we fell in love and promised marriage , i brought him home to meet my parents cos he said he wanted to meet with them . To cut the long short , we travelled to see his mother, he has no father only for his mother to say she doesn't want her son to marry from my tribe Edo state . He promised talking to his mother and continued to asure me.But one day  he called me after some months to say he is sorry that the marriage cannot work out again cos he can't have two women who will be so dear to him not be able to live together. For that reason he ended the relatioship .


 I was

Pregnancy Weight, Romantic Husband Plus More

1. Hi aunty Eya. Hope yoџ and your family are doing great?. Please i'†ђ3 like to be anonymous.
I've been married for just 2years n my marriage isn't what ℓ̊ want it to be. My husby isn't romantic and is soo nonchalant about it. I try buh he is not encouraging me. I buy him gifts on both val day and his birthday buh he does reciprocate. even ordinary txt he won't send. I've talked to him about it and he was like those things don't matter, buh those littlr little things matter to me. We are young buh am certain our parents share more love than us. Please what can i do to gain his full attention, to make him appreciate me, to be romantic? Pls help!

2. Dear aunty Eya, pls I will be very glad if you can post this anonymously on the blog. I gave birth last month through CS so I wasn't allowed to do most of the therapy a new mum does to get back in shape but I am really anxious to get my shape back especially my tummy. What should I do pls? Is it ok to go on a diet since exercise is out for at least 3-6 months. Thanks so much.
Verere @ georgeverere@gmail.com

3. My marriage is one year, and I have been trying to conceive from onset. But nothing yet. Pls I need average priced, good fertility hospital in Lagos that I can go. And name of any doctor there that will attend and listen to me. Pls help post this on your blog.

4. I'm a secret reader of this blog.  Pls permit to use this medium. I'm  31yrs  guy, from Aks but reside in Imo. I need a lady within

He Wants Marriage And Kids First, I Want My PhD First...

What if he stops me after we are married? What if i begin to resent him later on?

Hello...i stumbled on this blog through the internet and i decided to go thru it and i must say that i am pleased with it. I need advice because i am somewhat confused...i have been dating this wonderful man for a couple of years now,i knw his family members and they are wonderful people,my dilemma is this...

i have always dreamed of goin for my Phd and presently i am on my masters,i am pretty young. My boyfriend is nt too comfortable with me doing my Phd after my masters, he feels we shuld get married first in lyk 2 years time and after a kid or 2, i can start my Phd but i really wanna start before marriage then i can get married while on it (this is because i know we are both not ready for marriage until like 2 or 3 years time so i am like, why shouldn't I?)  he feels family should come first, i agree but i am not married yet and would like to pursue my dreams 

...i am afraid because if i don't start and i get married, what if things
don't go as planned and I can't do it? 

what if he stops me after we are married? What if i begin to resent him later on? 

I am young, he is young, there is no rush,i am 22 & he is 24. Because we aint in the same country cos i left for

Genotype SS And AA Can I Date Him?

Good evening Aunty Eya,i'm in mid-twenties and I have not been lucky with relationships even despite my love and sacrifice! Had my last breakup since may and I'm yet to go into another relationship...

but early september,i met with this guy and we've been good friends,i like him and he likes me too...just last month,he asked that we date....The clause here now is that he is SS and I am AA...please I need your advice on whether to go ahead and date him or not...

I'm really

Got No Advice, Now We Are Engaged, About To Propose, What Should I Do?

Anuty Eya I sent you a mail last year before I got engaged to the guy I was talking about but you didnt paste it. Finally am engaged to the guy, getting married soon but I still need advice on how to manage our sexual activity. Plus did I mention the guy doesnt stay in Nigeria, so its not as if I ve been with him all these while. Please I need candid advices. Hide ma details oooo.

NOW: Dear Anuty Eya,please hide my details. I have been a silent reader of your blog. I wish to commend your good work. I am a young lady of 24yrs, have graduated and served. Looking for work.

 I met this young man whom i wish to settle down with. He is tall, handsome,has a good heart and above all a staunch catholic. But the problem now is that i found out that he has a small penis size ( not so small but not as big as i like) and ejaculates even before we start making out. i want to knw if it is

How Do I Say No Without Hurting?

Good evening Aunty Eya and all wives connection family. I have a challenge and need your advice and that of blog members.

I have been in a relationship with my fiancee for close to 8years now. NB i met him when i just finished secondary school and was seeking for admission into the university. I was really young then so he decided not to do anything sexual to me(was a virgin n still am). He has been there for me and by God's grace we are having our introduction this december and marriage next year.

I started attending my church few months before i met my fiance as i said before i was quite young and didnt show him off cos i was worried people will think that as small as i was, i was already into a man without knowing there was no sexual attachment.

To cut the story short, a brother

Is It Wrong Not To Support This Wedding?

I saw this comment by an anonymous reader and didn't know what to say so I didn't reply. Can anyone help with advise please:

Good morning everyone. My sister is getting married soon but am not happy. My sister met a young man and they started a relationship. Introduction was fixed and a wedding date. The church demanded for a HIV test and the man tested positive. 

My sister is negative. We all now kicked against the wedding. But she insisted. That nothing is going to change her mind she must marry this guy. 

We all thought maybe she has been exposed to the virus that's why she wants to marry him. 4months after she took another test still negative. 2 months after that still negative. But my sister still insists on marrying him. 

I know HIV is

She Is Five Years Older, Should I Proceed Or Withdraw?

Good morning aunty eya how's your family I have a problem I'd like you to put up on your blog for discussion I am a student and I am in a very serious and comiitted relationship.

 early last I found out this girl was five years older than I am though she doesn't look it!I battled with it for a while and then I let it slide. the issue is I love this girl so much I'd love to marry her after school but till now we have never discussed age together but we re intimate on other issues. something tells me she knows I am younger but she really doesn't Act it and of recent that feeling has come back again,though we have been through thick and thin ve got this feeling that when we officially get to talk about our ages she would leave me so am really troubled.what should I do!

Eya's Reply:
Hi, sorry

How Do I Relate With Him To Ensure Peace, Harmony?

 Dear Aunty Eya,
Thankyou very much for what your blog is doing. I cant wait to get married and having a colourful and tasteful kitchen from all the recipes. The advice on your blog is always matured, practical and effective. Also the kitchen recipes are so economical. Just saw a fresh pepper sauce and i am like wow.

 Cos i have been wondering how i will manage fresh pepper when i get married because i live fresh pepper and as my job is very demanding, i wont be able be going to the market always.My bookmarks are filled with alot of your pages.

Sorry for that long gist now the issue at hand. I am Igala lady dating

Genotype Notwithstanding, A Break Up Not An Option For Us

Good morning Mrs Eya, I read some stories on ur blog. Pls I need your help my fiancee and I are both AS, our wedding is scheduled for November this year. I read about the CVS test on your blog, pls can you enlighten more about the test cos we are both interested as a break up is not an option for us here. Thanks for your help and we are eagerly awaiting your reply.



Eya REPLIES: 

Hi, your wedding is scheduled for November, meaning you still have a chance but you say a break up is not an option? Honestly, I think it's better to break up now than live in pain and fear. What happens when...

Love alone is not enough when it concerns sickle cell kids. I know there is nothing God cannot do for you and that's why he allowed Science to discover these things, so, a stitch in time can save nine. The stress from kids who are say frequently sick  and all is enough to shake the very foundations of any marriage. The love you confess for your fiance, is it enough to take you through the storms? This is an avoidable storm by God's grace. It is stress waiting to happen except God intervenes and gives you all AA kids or you decide not to have children. The test you mentioned, is it the one where a sickle cell unborn baby is aborted before delivery date. I like to ask this question ... How many can/will you abort?


When you say a break up is not an option, is she pregnant?


If you truly love your fiance, if she is not pregnant, why not set her free from this thing waiting to happen? The test, is done abroad, is your wife-to-be going to have all her babies abroad? The decision rests on you two. 


My advise is that you both sit down and look at it again. Are you sure this love will see you through just incase?


Dear poster,

My Fiance Arrested For Molesting A Fifrteen Year Old, I Need Quick Advice

Hello  ma and Wc
I dont know if this is a proper medium for this but i have to get it out.

As I speak to you my boyfriend or should i say fiance is at the station because he had sex with a 15 year old girl.  He claims  it was a one time thing but the girl in question said they have been doing it.

 Peeps from his church are

I'm In Love With And Loved By A Divorcee, CONFUSED

I am a silent reader who has been visiting your blog for 2years now. And it has been an eye opener to married life even before venturing. 

Even scared of getting married because of so many bad and failed marriages but God will see me through.


Am dating this man, a divorcee with 3 kids for close to 2 years now and I have fallen completely in love with him regardless of his complicated life and I believe he is in love too. Whenever we are together I feel so happy and different (the feeling is natural). We rarely argue or quarrel.  Now he is very serious about settling down with me but am not certain this is what I want. Am scared and afraid. I have turned down his proposal about marriage before but he never gives up.

He is a very handsome, humble, caring, hardworking, very rich, romantic, very domesticated, funny, intelligent and a religious man who respects me and treats me like a queen. One of my problems are, he labelled his ex wife evil, wicked,not a good cook and she hated his family etc.


He told me he tried teaching her how to cook but she didn't learn. Of course the story is one sided and he said he has never laid his hands on her ever (domestic violence).

At the moment, the wife is tormenting him with the kids and its weighing him down. I haven't met any of his cute children at all.


A friend's friend told me he was constantly cheating on his ex wife with this particular girl. Even to the

My Fiance Has A Good Heart But I Am Not Proud Of His Looks

Good day aunty Eya, I am 24 years old about to go for my Nysc....I gave a boyfriend who I am not proud of his looks at all...I can't even put up his picture as my dp without getting laughed at because I'm quite beautiful and he is not good looking....

He has a very good heart though....It was my friend who encouraged me to date him about 3 yrs ago...even though I did not like him...He was the one all over me..I don't know if I should go ahead to marry him because

He saw me Through School, Has A Child, I'm Very Happy Around Him, Confusion In My Head

Hi aunty Eya and everyone.
      I am a regular reader of the blog .I am 25 years old and I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 5 years .things hasn't been the way we wanted but God has been faithful.we finished nysc 2013 and he hasn't gotten a job. I am managing a little job in lagos now.

one faithful evening when I was waiting for a bus in a bus stop I met a guy and ever since then we have been going out together and I think I have feelings for him cos am always happy when am with him.I don't want to leave my boyfriend because of this new guy cos my boyfriend has been there for me.

He saw me through school and

Marriage Plans With A Divorcee, Am I Being Too Cautious?

Hi, im a silent follower of this blog, I have an issue that I will like to share with the more Christian and mature members of this blog. 
I am currently in a relationship with a man who treats me very well,  and tells me how much he loves me all the time, iv even met his family and we have been dating for over a month. 


 Now he is a divorcee , with no kids, however I don't think I am in love with him. I keep obsessing over whether or not he really loves me cos of the effort he puts into making us work. But the presence of an ex wife,  with whom he does business, and numerous ladies , who keep calling him,  just makes me very cautious. 

I went to

In My Mid-Thirties, Educated, No Relationship, No Career, Nothing, Thinking Of Ending It All

Good day,aunty Eya.Pls,hide my identity.its going to be long,pls bear with me.
I don't no where to start from but I'll start from when I graduated from the university in 2006,so after my NYSC in 2007,I started job hunting! I couldn't get any so I went to OAU to do a course in GIS,I finished 2008.I went evrywhere in search of job to no avail.

I had interview with Leadway Assurance,Oando,Schlumberger but I wld nt b called for the job.Even the schools I applied to,I was not called.i had a dream that a mark is on me that I shld go 2MFM for deliverance,I don't no y d church was mentioned to me in the dream(dat was since 2012),I went for 3days fasting(no food,no water).A senator even wrote a letter for me for job all to no avail.

I went to see

Different Views On Tithe Payment Destroying Our Relationship, Please Help Me

Good evening A-Eya..I'm in my late 20's and also a regular reader of your blog...I have this thing going on in my relationship and I don't know whether to wait for him to come back or I should just move on...I'm in a relationship with dis guy,he is in his mid-thirties,we were friends for 2years b4 I accepted to date him 4months back,we are so much into eachother and I know he loves me so much..He has even ask that I marry him,even wanting to come introduce himself ,his parent to my own parent by december.

We've actually been talking about different doctrinal believes of churches around the world and he has been of the opinion,that tithe paying is a wrong interpretation of churches today,like tithes

Wives Stop Doing These Contd

 Don’t act like your spouse is a mind reader. Instead, be specific about
 ; your requests. One busy mom said that she used to feel overwhelmed with
 t; household chores, wishing her spouse would help her. She now realizes that
> the only way he knows her needs is when she tells him. “Most often,” she
> says, “when I simply say, ‘Honey, will you tuck the kids in tonight while I
> get the kitchen cleaned up,’ he is glad to help.” She’s discovered that a
> few words are all it takes “to change a resentment-filled, stressed-out
> night into a team-effort bonding time.” Just ask..

 12. Stop putting housework ahead of hubby. One young mom told her husband
> that she didn't want to make love one night because she had just changed thesheets and she wanted them to stay clean. What do you think that response
> said to her husband? Another woman, who puts her husband ahead of the
> housework, said: “Do not leave the unfolded laundry on your marriage bed.

13. Put an end to taking the lead because

About His Status, Will The Catholic Church Agree To Wed Us?

Hello good people, Please I need your help and
advice. I am in love with an amazing man. he is so good to me and very
mature. He is going through a divorce (according to him) his family is
abroad. My problem here is he is 16 years older than I am, I am 27 years
old and secondly I don't know if the Catholic Church will wed us cos of his
status.

He says he wants to be married to me but I am sometimes worried
whether he is being honest with me about the divorce.

 Please I will like
advice as I am so worried cos its hard for me to even
like another and honestly I am not getting any younger. Thank you so very
much

Dear Wives, Stop Doing These NOW

The simple things wife shld stop doing to their husbands:
Have you ever wondered what your words and actions say to your husband about your love for him?
It is very important for U to consider ur husband’s needs and always guard urself against the use of careless words, attitudes, and actions so that U can get the best of him. Funny yeah?
I asked some of my married friends on our group on BBM “What they think a wife should stop doing if she wants to improve her marriage" and this list is based on some of their responses.

1. Stop thinking that your way is the “right” way. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it’s wrong. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, “I have to be in control.”

2. Don’t put others before your husband. It's not wise when when you put your mother, a friend, or even a child before your spouse. Actually, you take a step (often unintentional) toward isolation in your marriage. If you choose, for example, to
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