Showing posts with label marriage tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage tips. Show all posts

My Marriage Is A Mistake, I Regret Every Passing Second

Hello, Am an ardent reader of wives connection  blog.  My name is Roseline Chukwu from Imo State, Madam Eya pls be kind enough to delete my details before posting this. I have a situation that I need your advice and that of others.

I have been married for two years and 8 months now and we are still believing God for fruits of the womb. My problem is my husband's attitude towards me. Every  little misunderstanding we have he would keep malic with me for days even when he is the one at fault. He has no job but  follows politicians, attends meetings with some of them and in the process they may dash him money and that is how feed and do other things. This is is a man that made me believe with some convincing evidence before we got married that he is a graduate only for me to find out later on that he dropped out of school. 

We are having fertility issues cos diagnoses shows he has a very low sperm count of below 5 million.  But instead of seeking medical help from hospitals he prefers taking herbal medicine. I dragged him to my gynaecologist some time ago but he swore not to go back to the hospital that the doctor is very expensive. 

 I am just confused. Of late he started going out without telling me his way about and would also stay late into the night. I have sat him down severally and expressed how I feel towards these issues to him all to no avail. You may ask why I married a jobless man in the first place?  The answer to this is that I was tricked into believing that he would get a job soon considering the caliber of people he mingles with coupled with the fact that he made me believe he had good certificates to go with.


Genotype Notwithstanding, A Break Up Not An Option For Us

Good morning Mrs Eya, I read some stories on ur blog. Pls I need your help my fiancee and I are both AS, our wedding is scheduled for November this year. I read about the CVS test on your blog, pls can you enlighten more about the test cos we are both interested as a break up is not an option for us here. Thanks for your help and we are eagerly awaiting your reply.


Hi, your wedding is scheduled for November, meaning you still have a chance but you say a break up is not an option? Honestly, I think it's better to break up now than live in pain and fear. What happens when...

Love alone is not enough when it concerns sickle cell kids. I know there is nothing God cannot do for you and that's why he allowed Science to discover these things, so, a stitch in time can save nine. The stress from kids who are say frequently sick  and all is enough to shake the very foundations of any marriage. The love you confess for your fiance, is it enough to take you through the storms? This is an avoidable storm by God's grace. It is stress waiting to happen except God intervenes and gives you all AA kids or you decide not to have children. The test you mentioned, is it the one where a sickle cell unborn baby is aborted before delivery date. I like to ask this question ... How many can/will you abort?

When you say a break up is not an option, is she pregnant?

If you truly love your fiance, if she is not pregnant, why not set her free from this thing waiting to happen? The test, is done abroad, is your wife-to-be going to have all her babies abroad? The decision rests on you two. 

My advise is that you both sit down and look at it again. Are you sure this love will see you through just incase?

Dear poster,

My Husband IsTaking A Second Wife, What Can I Do?

Hi Madam Eya and Wc, please help me with. My head is confused this morning. Family members are even making things worse. My husband of  20 years is taking another wife and my aged parents are OK with it. I married him at 19. After secondary school, every other Education I got was while married to him. He was very supportive during my schooling days studying Economics and making babies. He stood by me all those years paying my school fees and the children' without complaining. 
so am not yet forty, am still a young woman who tries her best to look good and take care of her family.

We are from different tribes and it has not been easy. His family kicked against our marriage in the beginning but when we continued, they began to accept me and things have been fine all these years. I have two girls for him and he has always loved his family. 

Recently, my husband's trips to his village have trippled. He spends practically every holiday at home using the excuse of checking up on the project at his home town. Even weekends are not left out, whenever there is a long weekend, he travels for one reason or the other.
I have a few friends from his village so I trust that what am hearing is true. He and his family are secretly planning to marry a very young girl without my knowledge. According to the source that informed me, the lady will not come to stay with us here in Lagos, she'll either move in with his aged parents or he'll get a place for her.

His ways have been

What Can I Do About Hubby's Stinginess And That Lady?

pls I have a challenge below. publish on ur blog. pls hide my identity, thnks.
I have been married for a year now.
tried talking about my trust for him. i told him outrightly that he does/shows things that makes me doubt him and then i told him to EARN my trust for him. How do I trust him again? 
1. I dont trust my husband at all. 2. A particular lady friend of his
has been an issue btw d both of us in the past. I stumbled on messages from her to him/him to her. I asked and he said there's nothing, just raising hopes and flirting. i ignored all that. Last week, I used his phone to send a message and I stumbled into a msg from that same girl sending her account number. One of the things that attracted my husband to me is that I never disturbed him regularly for money. I was independent. 

I never saw it as a big deal but I felt at the same time that every man should be sensitive to his woman's needs. As we got married, I still never bothered him all d time for money but d few times I ask, I was being dribbled, stories up and down.

I sometimes get jobs for him and encourage him and not even at least "thank you/dash you money" from him..lolz..if u women know what i mean. I eventually told him that he shld be try and be sensitive to my needs. 

I don't have to chase

My Husband Is Lying To Me At This Early Stage Of Our Marriage

Hello Eya,

I'm a married woman and have been married for about 9months now. There's this particular girl that came to me all in the name of friendship so that my hubby could assist her get roles in a movie.

 I have been assisting her get roles in movies produced by my husband after much pleading with him. All of a sudden she started misbehaving and the last one she did was gossip, I'm not a fan of female friends cos I hate their wahala, so, to put a stop to it, I told my husband I don't wanna see her in his jobs again and I don't want someone that will break my home. 

To avoid problems, he deleted her frm his bbm. Since then I have been asking if she called him to

Should I Insist On Getting A Househelp?

Hi Aunty Eya and my lovely WC readers,pls I want to know you peoples opinion on this matter,I'm a mother of two expecting the third,my hubby says no house help, but one of his brothers lives with us, he's in his early 20's and he does help out but there are some chores I don't like him to do for me, like bathing my girls.

I really need a house help(female),  but, he says he doesn't want peoples wahala, that any time our kids are on holiday we will travell to his people, who honestly I can say do take good care of us too. and honestly I love going to his people cos they love me and my kids very much as if I'm their child.


Condoms In My Wife's Handbag, Should I Believe Her Story?

Good evening WC. I'm just trying to bring out my wife's ringing phone from her bag and here is a pack of condoms before my eyes.she says they are for when she is not safe but I'd be a fool to believe that crap.I know things are a bit hard of late but I still try my best to provide for her and our daughter. I work

My Husband In A Rampage Mode, I'm So Confused, What Can I Do Now?

I have been married since 1981. I always refused my husband sex, last year he became tired of waiting, he had found out about some affairs, and he decided he supported me for 31 years , He was owed, its not that I did not want sex. I love sex. Its just as the last year has proved. He does not feel he owes anyone any thing in his life. He was forced to be the better man by me refusing keeping him in line. But the last 14 years he has hurt nine men very badly because he refuses to give up any more rights. 

5 in the last year, two on Saturday. He has become controlling, if its in his house it is his business, I was always taught if you are told even in your own house you are not invited or its none of your business you stepped out for a few hours. Saturday His father invited me to breakfast to talk about what has been happening with my husband. 

Two of his fathers friend forced him away with two unloaded weapons and I went with them. My husband tracked us down where we were eating and he did not show any mercy when he waded into us with his cane. I am living with my father and mother in law right now, The police said we needed to let my husband cool off but there was not an arrest made because two fire arms were uses as a threat, It did not matter they had no bullets. My mother in law says I am to

Husbands, Stop Doing These Things, Post By Eesah

Ok guys, we've talked about what women should stop doing to their husbands.... and even more
 Now to balance it since lots of husbands visit this blog as well.. What are those things husbands need to stop doing that hurt their darling wives....Wives this would interest u too..
Sometimes men need encouragement in their quest to step up and be the men God has called them to be. Sometimes they need information, and sometimes they need training. Sometimes they need a mentor, someone who will show them how to be godly men, how to love their wives.
Here are ONLY 40 ideas. Of course, not all of these items apply to all men. But perhaps something here will hit home for you.

1. Stop acting like the battle is won in pursuing and getting to know your wife. Have fun together, just like you used to do before you walked down the aisle.
2. If your wife is a stay-at-home mom, stop treating her like her work during the day is somehow less strenuous or less important than yours.
3. Stop coming home from work and plopping in front of the television for the night, leaving your wife to bear the responsibility for everything else going on in the home.
4. Stop working so much. Find a healthy balance between work and family. Your wife would rather have you than a big house, nice car, etc.
5. Stop acting like you’re listening when you’re really watching TV.
6. Stop allowing the spiritual leadership of the family to default to your wife.
7. Stop being passive when

My Husband Fast Asleep In Same Bed With Male Friend

Hello Aunty Eya and WC, I am a new reader of your blog,and l find it very entertaining and educating. I was moved to tell a story of a friend who is very dear to my heart,so that your readers can give advice on this story am about to share. It's a long story but l'll try to make it as brief as l can.

         A very close friend of mine who is in her early 20s fell in love with a man 10years older than she was and that year in 2012 they got married. But had not been able to conceive. In 2013,her husband lost his job and things became financially unstable for the couple. But later that year,she decided to travel out of the country to stay with her mother for a while at least to clear her mind off the stress. Early 2014. 

She came back to the country and noticed that everything had changed for her husband. He now had a job in a big company,he was living in a company house,he had a brand new BMW X6,and lots of money to spend. She asked him how it all happened and he just simply said that an old friend of his gave him the job and helped him bounce back. She then insisted they go over to his house to thank him and also meet with him. So on a chosen day they visited the friend's  home,he was still single and lived alone. They went out to have dinner.

 The friend later suggested they

No More Love For My Husband,What Do I Do?


Please I feel compelled to share and get advice.

I have been married for 3 years plus and I am at a point where I resent my husband and his presence irritates me.

This is an aftermath of abandonment when I was pregnant 4 months into the marriage and his repeated infidelity to the point he got someone pregnant.

I can not just bring myself to trust him and I always see an ulterior motive in all his actions.

At this point in my marriage I feel like throwing in the towel because I don't love him and care less what he is up to.

I am most happiest when

My Husband With A Call Girl, I Need Help

Good afternoon A-Eya, wc peope I hail o.I have been a reader of this blog but have never wrote to A-Eya before. Wells I got married early 2013. My husband is ten years older than me and I don't really understands him any longer he comes home very late, sometimes around 11pm past 12 etc and I was pregnant all this time and have been receiving threat messages from his female lover telling me I will loss my baby that am not the only one pregnant for my own husband and I showed my so called husband the messages but he said he does not know who is sending the messages to me and that I should never in my life show him the messages again,and I was already heavily pregnant so I have to go and see one of his friend told him he knew my husband was cheating and he never advised my husband so l left the guys place so I guess the friend called him on the phone and told him I came so my husband started calling me but I did not pick cos have already packed some

Can Low Sperm Motility Be Corrected? Visit Doctor Before Fertility Prayer Please

My lovely WC family. Its been awhile! Trust you are all doing well? Ok , can you recall a woman who wrote to ask about HSG sometimes ago? OK, its me and am back with my praise report.
With mixed feelings I went for the HSG! Mehn! It was a bit painful but all thanks to the radiologist who is a true believer, she was like a mother, she was really gentle and kept encouraging me. (God bless her). The result came back very good.

I saw the doctor the next day and he ask me to go for hormonal profile and my honey boo boo for sperm analysis.
With anxiety and all I wanted for cycle day 21 for the blood sample to be taken for the test. And hubby went for his sperm analysis. Hubby was diagnosed with low sperm motility and he was placed on Vitamin E. Can  low sperm motility be corrected?

For me, I waited for more than a month for my hormonal profile result to be ready. Mehn! I didn't know it will take that long. There were days I couldn't sleep, thinking and worrying for nothing!
Finally, result was ready. All hormones shooting very well expect progesterone which was within the range but not too good. I was placed on clomid and metformin.
I trust God that He will complete what He has started in us. And I know I will come to this page I share my testimony.

For someone trusting God for the fruit of the womb, abeg go see a doctor so that your prayer will be properly directed, know what you want God to correct! 

My Husband's Friend In Love With Him, What Should I Do?

Hello Anty, I know you want to rest till July but this can't wait o, I need advice on how to tackle this challenge from my husbands friend, please help me , also keep my ID from readers. I have been married to my hubby for 11 years, he has a close friend , I know very well that my husband looks at this lady as a friend but she is in love my husband , she will call at anytime of the day, even at midnight just to say say hello and know how hubby's day was .

 I have  told my

Wives Stop Doing These Contd

 Don’t act like your spouse is a mind reader. Instead, be specific about
 ; your requests. One busy mom said that she used to feel overwhelmed with
 t; household chores, wishing her spouse would help her. She now realizes that
> the only way he knows her needs is when she tells him. “Most often,” she
> says, “when I simply say, ‘Honey, will you tuck the kids in tonight while I
> get the kitchen cleaned up,’ he is glad to help.” She’s discovered that a
> few words are all it takes “to change a resentment-filled, stressed-out
> night into a team-effort bonding time.” Just ask..

 12. Stop putting housework ahead of hubby. One young mom told her husband
> that she didn't want to make love one night because she had just changed thesheets and she wanted them to stay clean. What do you think that response
> said to her husband? Another woman, who puts her husband ahead of the
> housework, said: “Do not leave the unfolded laundry on your marriage bed.

13. Put an end to taking the lead because

About His Status, Will The Catholic Church Agree To Wed Us?

Hello good people, Please I need your help and
advice. I am in love with an amazing man. he is so good to me and very
mature. He is going through a divorce (according to him) his family is
abroad. My problem here is he is 16 years older than I am, I am 27 years
old and secondly I don't know if the Catholic Church will wed us cos of his

He says he wants to be married to me but I am sometimes worried
whether he is being honest with me about the divorce.

 Please I will like
advice as I am so worried cos its hard for me to even
like another and honestly I am not getting any younger. Thank you so very

Dear Wives, Stop Doing These NOW

The simple things wife shld stop doing to their husbands:
Have you ever wondered what your words and actions say to your husband about your love for him?
It is very important for U to consider ur husband’s needs and always guard urself against the use of careless words, attitudes, and actions so that U can get the best of him. Funny yeah?
I asked some of my married friends on our group on BBM “What they think a wife should stop doing if she wants to improve her marriage" and this list is based on some of their responses.

1. Stop thinking that your way is the “right” way. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it’s wrong. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, “I have to be in control.”

2. Don’t put others before your husband. It's not wise when when you put your mother, a friend, or even a child before your spouse. Actually, you take a step (often unintentional) toward isolation in your marriage. If you choose, for example, to

Am I Being Selfish? Please Guide

Ok errrmmm....i'd like your opinion/advice and that of WC family on this issue bothering me.
I'd like to remain anonymous. My fiance and i had this talk recently and for the first time we couldnt agree on a particular issue.

Just this year, he rented an apartment and bought a car and about two of his friends moved in with him almost immediately and about 2 others have come visiting for about 2 weeks and left. Bottomline is, as one friend leaves another comes in. Am not so comfortable with that and i had a talk with him, asking him if this is gonna continue when we get married and he said yes!. I was shocked and told him that i would like to live a private life when am married. Am not saying i cant help people but not having people crawl all over the place.

He then explained that when he came to Lagos, the 1st person he stayed with accomodated 6 of them and when he was about getting married he told them to leave, but that about 3 of them had nowhere to go so

My Husband Is Fifty, Celebrating Big, What Is Expected Of A Wife? Tips Please

Madam Eya, please I need some tips and suggestions from the wonderful people on your blog. Apart from my wedding and Child dedication for my children,I've never really celebrated nor hosted any big event.My husband is fifty today and it would be celebrated by this weekend (Saturday).I don't want to fall my hand please help.LoL

I usually bought him birthday presents but stopped three years into our marriage cos he never gave me gifts on my special days. We have been married for ten years now.Today he is fifty, I don't know what is expected of me as a wife; Am I supposed to take charge like host and take care of expenditure? This I know is very heavy for my meagre Nurse' salary cos he is a big boy with big friends who should be there.

He is highly

Ten Years Older, Is He Too Old For Me?

Dear Aunty Eya,
I love your blog, it high level of sensible posts and comments. Very matured and decent.
I am in a dilemma. I am 28 years old. Eldest in my family. There has been pressure on me to get married. I work and earn well. However i have not been moved by the pressure, because i believe God has beautiful plans for me.
Recently i met and fell in love with a man 10 years older that me. I fell in love with him before i knew how old he was. We blend and connect well.He adores me and recently asked me to marry him.

I totally love the idea, but some issues bother me.
1. Is
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