Showing posts with label marriage tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage tips. Show all posts

My Wife Only Focuses On Making Money, I Am Tired

Dear Eya and blog readers, this  is my own case,  I am a married man with three kids, de problem is dat  when I married my wife newly she was very hardworking, but now she has becoming lazy, she hardly tidied up de house, I am a hardworking man, all expenses of de  family is on me, she is doing business, she has been neglecting her duty as a wife, all she


A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.
Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.
But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband the great distress.
Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.
She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.
Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."
Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly

Your Clothes Do Not Befit My Wife ...Should I Try Hubby's Idea?

Hello Everyone
Aunty Eya pls post this for me anonymously. I need your advice & those of other wives. Thanks

I have been married for 12 years with  children and  I don tire o!!! please help and advice me on how household finances are run because I do not know how as unfortunately this was also my mother’s condition as she alone carried the family during my childhood. The issue is tearing my family apart!! God I want deliverance o!! Please!! I am a salary earner and my hubby is a businessman but his business is seasonal. once there is a need I fill it thinking we are one. Now he is used to it and whether he has or not I am stuck with the bills. Now I don't have any savings & all my money is spent on the family but my hubby still shouts that I do not do enough & that he doesn't know how I spend my money. As I am I no get gold, I no even get better clothes. Even he said this year that he doesn't like some of my clothes that they do not befit his wife!! Yet!! Do I not need deliverance so?!! Am at my wits end o!!

I want to

Do You Compare Your Partner? Drop The Fantasy

Do you still compare
Comparison in a relationship is a disease which can plague anybody, regardless of status, colour, or race. It is that feeling that what the other person has, is better than yours, and you wished it was yours, so you begin to despise what you do have.
It's easy for people who do not have to deal with your shortcomings and imperfections on a daily basis to 'admire' you or think they are in love with you- because such feelings come with no responsibilities attached- it's free, easy and stressless- no demands. But as soon as the novelty of perfection wears off, because of the demands and expectations which come with the daily grind of living together, some go looking for the next perfect deal- perhaps another girl/woman who seems like the onion rings in the pizza, or the boy/man who makes you feel all tingly because of the nice way he talks to you. Comparison is deadly.

Like I wrote once, offences test relationships. It's easy to act all nice when everything seems rosy, but when you rub someone off the wrong way, or push them beyond their comfort zone, you will know if their humanity is humane or nasty!
Much as I love my hubby and he loves me, we

While Trying To Forgive, Same Woman Is Pregnant Again

I Hello Eya, please help me before I explode here. I have spent the week searching searching old topics on the blog but can't find one related to my situation.

I have been married for eight years with no child yet, till trusting God for his blessing. I found out my husband has a two year old boy with another woman, confronted him, he apologized profusely and has really been trying to make it up to me. He says it's temptation and promised never to break my heart.

We are still in the process of trying to forgive and make up, then I discover the same woman

Not Pregnancy Hormones, I Have No Feelings For Him

The Last Time We Kissed Was Our Wedding Day...

I really need your sisterly advice as well as my fellow blog very sad and I just want to be happy..Am 27,got married 3months ago,i married my husband simply bcos I got pregnant and vowed never to abort again...please dnt let me go into details on how the issue of pregnancy came about but I never loved him while dating,nothing about him attracts me,let me just say I dated him then just not to be lonely cos I was a victim of emotional abuse coupled with series of abortion from my previous relationship.

He's a very good man,hardworking, godfearing ,and he loves me with is whole heart just name it,but I just don't love him,ive tried all my possible best,prayed, and I thought things will get better after we get married that i'll learn to love him but is getting worst.


Married, Not Happy

Aunty Eya I don't know where to start, I plea anonymity and will appreciate your word of advice via a reply.i met hubby in the university,we were friends for some years before we decided on dating,now we've been married for a little over a year,he married me a virgin.well we don't live in the country and I don't have friends here so basically all my attention is directed at hubby,the thing is that since I got pregnant he gets to complain too frequently about our sex life and my looks and Aunty I must say am trying,hand job and blow job I try to make available since my bump makes penetrative sex uncomfortable,few days ago he said he wanted to go in and I allowed him,the experience left me feeling rapedand I had Sharp back pain but with

How Do I Reduce Love For My Cheating Husband?

Hi mam Eya and wc readers,pls my dear people,my head want's to busrt like a bomb cos of what my husband is doing to me,I know he is a reader of this blog but I hv to speak to let him see what others hv to say, my husband was and is the only man that I ever knew,he was my first boyfriend and my first love. 

when I say I love this man eeeh I mean I love him with all my heart,body and soul,I don't even allow men to talk to me when ever I walk on the way cos I promised my self that he will be the only man I know but eeeh I'M regreating giving my heart to him cos I guess he is seeing another girl,as we women will alwalyS peep,I peeped in his phone I immiediatle receive a message,I opened it and it was a single lady asking him how his day went then I check the older messages and boom I saw a message sent to the maga by my beloved hubby calling the morron his love and the girl asking him to call him and he said okay and called her,at night my dear husband will go to one corner and start making calls with the hope that I'm asleep and it ends up being the lady that he calls at night. day, I took the

He Loves Me, I Love His Friend; Domestic Violence Plus More Mails

‎Poster 1.  Hello Aunty Eya,compliment of the season, my name in my early 20s,working with a federal govt parastatal,I met this wonderful colleague of mine January this year and we became pretty close(all this time I was single) he had a girlfriend but she was a christian and he is a Muslim. 

People started seeing the chemistry between us but I never saw it,some of our colleagues will even tell us we are going to eventually get married, all I knew was I cared so much about him. Fast forward to 6mnths later,my colleague's friend saw my pic on his phone and insisted he wanted to meet me, I met him and before I knew what was happening we started dating . 

Two months into the relationship,i discovered his friend wasn't the kind of man I wanted,but I kept quiet about it,i wanted to handle it my way until my friend/colleague couldn't hide his feelings anymore and he told me he loved me,he had alwais loved me, I blamed him for keeping quiet and he reminded me of the day he asked me if I could date him and my reply was NO, because I thought he was joking that day.

Now my friend/colleague is single,he is in love with me but am with his friend even though I want to leave his friend and nothing has really happened between me and his friend,i have told him we can't be together but we can't hide what we feel.for each other. Am confused I don't know the next step to take.

Poster 2.  Aunty Eya good morning, aw is ur family? Pls can you

Staff Cannot Marry Policy, What Can I do?

Eya Goodday ,how is your family ? Pls i need advice from matured mothers . Am a 29 yr old lady .working with The Federal Govt . While in the University, i dated a guy , we were very fund of each other, after university he started behaving funny ,i could not handle the way he follows me about . We broke up. 

After some months i met another guy from the eastern part of Nigeria , we fell in love and promised marriage , i brought him home to meet my parents cos he said he wanted to meet with them . To cut the long short , we travelled to see his mother, he has no father only for his mother to say she doesn't want her son to marry from my tribe Edo state . He promised talking to his mother and continued to asure me.But one day  he called me after some months to say he is sorry that the marriage cannot work out again cos he can't have two women who will be so dear to him not be able to live together. For that reason he ended the relatioship .

 I was

Pregnancy Weight, Romantic Husband Plus More

1. Hi aunty Eya. Hope yoџ and your family are doing great?. Please i'†ђ3 like to be anonymous.
I've been married for just 2years n my marriage isn't what ℓ̊ want it to be. My husby isn't romantic and is soo nonchalant about it. I try buh he is not encouraging me. I buy him gifts on both val day and his birthday buh he does reciprocate. even ordinary txt he won't send. I've talked to him about it and he was like those things don't matter, buh those littlr little things matter to me. We are young buh am certain our parents share more love than us. Please what can i do to gain his full attention, to make him appreciate me, to be romantic? Pls help!

2. Dear aunty Eya, pls I will be very glad if you can post this anonymously on the blog. I gave birth last month through CS so I wasn't allowed to do most of the therapy a new mum does to get back in shape but I am really anxious to get my shape back especially my tummy. What should I do pls? Is it ok to go on a diet since exercise is out for at least 3-6 months. Thanks so much.
Verere @

3. My marriage is one year, and I have been trying to conceive from onset. But nothing yet. Pls I need average priced, good fertility hospital in Lagos that I can go. And name of any doctor there that will attend and listen to me. Pls help post this on your blog.

4. I'm a secret reader of this blog.  Pls permit to use this medium. I'm  31yrs  guy, from Aks but reside in Imo. I need a lady within

My Husband Did Not Grieve Plus Female Pictures On Phone

Good evening ma'am. Am a married woman in my twenties and my husband is in his thirties' we have two kids together.

 I think this man doesn't respect me. Several times I see female pictures on his phone, should I secretly drop it in hot water or how do I handle this?. The recent one that happened and pissed me off  is that he came back from work that fateful night and I asked him if he was ready to eat but he said no and stepped out.

 I asked where he was going only for him to say it's none of my business. I decided to go buy something outside and I saw him and his ex in an awkward corner. I was so pissed that I insulted him and

This Drama Started When My Parents Gave Outrageous Wedding Bills

Hello Eya'
Pleaseeeeeee hide my details!
I want to commend your great work, you are indeed a blessing. Ma I am getting married in four weeks and at first my fiance and I were excited. We dated for 8 months and it was amazing, simple and beautiful.

 He is gentle, disciplined and loving, His dad dotes over me. We were (or are) our answers to each others prayers and we decided to get married. No spectacular proposals though, we both knew what we wanted. 

The drama all started when my mother gave us the wedding bills, it was grossly outrageous and way beyond his budget. He kept his cool though and simply said what he could afford. 3 months to the wedding when he went to my family house, my father gave him a verbal dress down just because he hadn't booked anything yet, things like he acts like a woman and maybe i am the one to cater for our family, so many horrible things i wouldnt want to say.

 My Dad said so many demeaning things to him and i was scared he was going to call the relationship off but he kept his cool and we were alright. My mum kept doing one form of annoying thing after the other simply because my fiance decided to contact most of the suppliers we would need to negotiate an affordable deal. My mum is a control freak and now acts weird simply because the guy doesnt seem to be a puppet.

One day, he just snapped and stopped being nice and gentle with me. He seemed to be pouring all the bottled up anger meant for my parents on me and its all new to me. He didnt call the wedding off though, he

Should I Let My Husband Attend That Wedding Or Not? Please Advise

Good day everyone,
My husband cheated on me with a particular girl and I was hurt greatly. We had a big quarrel over this same girl that my husband's family had to interfer to settle us. 

Now this girl whom kissed and slept with my husband is getting married, and she sent an invitation to my husband specifying that my husband is a special guest. 
Unlike other people who gets married and sends an invitation to my husband he shows me, but for this girl's  invitation card he has not shown me, but I just happened to see d card which he is not aware of. 

Should I allow him go for the wedding or not?. Already my husband told me he will be travelling, and after seeing the invitation card I found out that the date and duration and place my husband said he is travelling is

Leaving With My Two Kids, Is It Wrong?

Anty Eya,
I didnt know this blog exists until my friend showed me on her phone, i realy appreciate. I am 34yrs from asaba married to a  guy we met in school, he was in part 3 while i was in 4 so i cook for him and take care of his needs and we eventualy fell in love. 

After my NYSC i got a good job so we got married but, i find out now that i have been the person responsible for the family upkeep since 2010, he has a job now but does not give me anything! i pay school fees for our two sons, pay house rent, buy them wears, medical bills, pay lawma bills, pay light bills  etc. He doesn't give me anything! 
The day i

He Suspects His Wife Sends Money Home Which Is Not True, Please Help My Sister

Good day! I would like to be anonymous. I earlier posted my story on this blog which attracted meaningful advices from you and blog visitors.  This time I need your advice and that of blog visitors for my younger sister. She has been married for 2 years with a baby boy .

 Now the problem is her husband; the man is a business man and he is doing very well financially. After their wedding he made sure my sister stopped using her bank account , he in fact doesn't want her to be going to the bank for anything whatsoever.  He goes about telling people that God disappointed him by giving my sister to him as wife.

 My sister is currently doing her nysc and he told her to withdraw all her monthly allowance and give to him that he would add money to it and buy a new set of seat for their sitting room. My sister did that for the sake of peace. 

 Every now and then it is always money this money that. He suspects that she sends his money to her family which is not true,  cos our parents are not lacking. He said my sister does not give him change whenever he gives her money to buy food stuff and all that. 

 Just 3 days ago he beat the

My Marriage Is A Mistake, I Regret Every Passing Second

Hello, Am an ardent reader of wives connection  blog.  My name is Roseline Chukwu from Imo State, Madam Eya pls be kind enough to delete my details before posting this. I have a situation that I need your advice and that of others.

I have been married for two years and 8 months now and we are still believing God for fruits of the womb. My problem is my husband's attitude towards me. Every  little misunderstanding we have he would keep malic with me for days even when he is the one at fault. He has no job but  follows politicians, attends meetings with some of them and in the process they may dash him money and that is how feed and do other things. This is is a man that made me believe with some convincing evidence before we got married that he is a graduate only for me to find out later on that he dropped out of school. 

We are having fertility issues cos diagnoses shows he has a very low sperm count of below 5 million.  But instead of seeking medical help from hospitals he prefers taking herbal medicine. I dragged him to my gynaecologist some time ago but he swore not to go back to the hospital that the doctor is very expensive. 

 I am just confused. Of late he started going out without telling me his way about and would also stay late into the night. I have sat him down severally and expressed how I feel towards these issues to him all to no avail. You may ask why I married a jobless man in the first place?  The answer to this is that I was tricked into believing that he would get a job soon considering the caliber of people he mingles with coupled with the fact that he made me believe he had good certificates to go with.


Genotype Notwithstanding, A Break Up Not An Option For Us

Good morning Mrs Eya, I read some stories on ur blog. Pls I need your help my fiancee and I are both AS, our wedding is scheduled for November this year. I read about the CVS test on your blog, pls can you enlighten more about the test cos we are both interested as a break up is not an option for us here. Thanks for your help and we are eagerly awaiting your reply.


Hi, your wedding is scheduled for November, meaning you still have a chance but you say a break up is not an option? Honestly, I think it's better to break up now than live in pain and fear. What happens when...

Love alone is not enough when it concerns sickle cell kids. I know there is nothing God cannot do for you and that's why he allowed Science to discover these things, so, a stitch in time can save nine. The stress from kids who are say frequently sick  and all is enough to shake the very foundations of any marriage. The love you confess for your fiance, is it enough to take you through the storms? This is an avoidable storm by God's grace. It is stress waiting to happen except God intervenes and gives you all AA kids or you decide not to have children. The test you mentioned, is it the one where a sickle cell unborn baby is aborted before delivery date. I like to ask this question ... How many can/will you abort?

When you say a break up is not an option, is she pregnant?

If you truly love your fiance, if she is not pregnant, why not set her free from this thing waiting to happen? The test, is done abroad, is your wife-to-be going to have all her babies abroad? The decision rests on you two. 

My advise is that you both sit down and look at it again. Are you sure this love will see you through just incase?

Dear poster,

My Husband IsTaking A Second Wife, What Can I Do?

Hi Madam Eya and Wc, please help me with. My head is confused this morning. Family members are even making things worse. My husband of  20 years is taking another wife and my aged parents are OK with it. I married him at 19. After secondary school, every other Education I got was while married to him. He was very supportive during my schooling days studying Economics and making babies. He stood by me all those years paying my school fees and the children' without complaining. 
so am not yet forty, am still a young woman who tries her best to look good and take care of her family.

We are from different tribes and it has not been easy. His family kicked against our marriage in the beginning but when we continued, they began to accept me and things have been fine all these years. I have two girls for him and he has always loved his family. 

Recently, my husband's trips to his village have trippled. He spends practically every holiday at home using the excuse of checking up on the project at his home town. Even weekends are not left out, whenever there is a long weekend, he travels for one reason or the other.
I have a few friends from his village so I trust that what am hearing is true. He and his family are secretly planning to marry a very young girl without my knowledge. According to the source that informed me, the lady will not come to stay with us here in Lagos, she'll either move in with his aged parents or he'll get a place for her.

His ways have been

What Can I Do About Hubby's Stinginess And That Lady?

pls I have a challenge below. publish on ur blog. pls hide my identity, thnks.
I have been married for a year now.
tried talking about my trust for him. i told him outrightly that he does/shows things that makes me doubt him and then i told him to EARN my trust for him. How do I trust him again? 
1. I dont trust my husband at all. 2. A particular lady friend of his
has been an issue btw d both of us in the past. I stumbled on messages from her to him/him to her. I asked and he said there's nothing, just raising hopes and flirting. i ignored all that. Last week, I used his phone to send a message and I stumbled into a msg from that same girl sending her account number. One of the things that attracted my husband to me is that I never disturbed him regularly for money. I was independent. 

I never saw it as a big deal but I felt at the same time that every man should be sensitive to his woman's needs. As we got married, I still never bothered him all d time for money but d few times I ask, I was being dribbled, stories up and down.

I sometimes get jobs for him and encourage him and not even at least "thank you/dash you money" from him..lolz..if u women know what i mean. I eventually told him that he shld be try and be sensitive to my needs. 

I don't have to chase
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