Thursday, September 14, 2017

There is 💰 in 🇳🇬

About jetting out of 9ja for a greener pasture.

In 2010, one egbon saw me and instantly decided I was the perfect fit for ilu oyinbo. "Yetunde, you don't deserve to be in this country, i want you to come with me to Finland".
This encounter aroused my abroad dreams. I immediately felt like a piece of shit as a Nigerian. I couldn't wait to unleash this beautiful dream.
Egon started all the processings. He really wanted me to model for a lingerie line in the abroad. I was to meet with a representative in an hotel for a photo session. These people cannot wait to see me in photos. This your shikini bress and flat ynash is their specs for the pata and bra sometin..'as the vintage sometin that your property is na'

Chineke Daalu!!
It was going to be an all expense paid trip. From passport to visa to accommodation and i'd even get paid. Wawuu! This looks too delicious to be real.

So my village people decided to screw me. They pushed me to tell my mum about the yummy offer. I sugar-coated it so well that she gave me a resounding dirty slaps that took me to Finland and back. "ashewo lofe loma shey nilu oyinbo.. Aye mi temi bami".She called my aunts and an impromptu meeting was organized immediately.
Damn!! Damn! Omg!
My mum ruined it all.
For over 1 month, my mum filled my ears with tales of ladies that traveled to the abroad with horrible experiences.  *Sigh*.
Egbon left with a huge disappointment. His words "them don use your own head clean yansh abeg.. You're cursed"
After this event, I really felt like a failure sincerely and the zeal dropped to the barest minimum.

In 2013. I got another offer to Netherlands, an online person Nelson, we met once and dude just
wanted me to come over. He got my passport and started the travel process. He was indeed heads over heels about me. My mum sighted an international passport in my bag one morning and screamed the neighborhood down. Fada lawd!.
See enh, if Iya shade wants to disgrace me, na oversized she dey give me. The type I can never slim fit lailai.. I would need about 6 months to regain my pride,(she doesn't even see me as an only daughter kankan) Cos she would strip it off me to the skin. In short enh, the entire neighborhood knew I had intentions to go and do ASHEWO WORK in the abroad. You know what that means na.

I'm sorry Nelson. I know you were utterly disappointed. Words can't even fix that. But you see that passport, na cotonu and Togo stamp full am now.

In 2014. I had a flawless surrogacy deal for a couple in Canada. My mum somehow got  the hint of this one, she 'died' like 50times and rose again.

You see this deal enh, forget it, na me and davido for dey collabo now.  I wasn't going to tell nobody. This one no be naira something o. My friend Yetunde knows about it all. I had signed all the papers. I was going to do this behind my mom and siblings. I had damned everything and everyone.  I wasn't even packing any bags. Everything was planned NEATLY!.
2weeks before departure, my mum woke me in the middle of the night with so much tears and sweat. She had a nightmare, "I had traveled, and she saw me carrying a white baby".. Somethin somethin! Red wrapper, fire, brimstone, incoherent YadaYada.

*****please!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not even funny woman.  WTF! No be this village people wey I dey find be this?? E ma gbami ke.
After must pestering, i told her about it and it was an outright NO.
Homaigod!!.. Every morning, she would wake me up and cry her eyes out 😂😂😂😂. Chai! This woman is seriously tied to my apron.

This year 2017, I got another juicy offer... Hehehehehe
I don lock up for traveling out of this country to hustle. I have channeled all the energy into my businesses. I would travel for vacations, business trips and all the fun lots, but to go work my ass out.. I'm not sure! My own case is even different sef cos it's funny abroad travel offers I get.

I am happy I have had no regrets for not leaving my sweet country.

Yes 9ja seem all 'messed up', nothing seem to be working, corruption abounds, our leader are selling off our legacies. But I tell you, honey and milk dey this country, no be mouth. There is MONEY in this land. Nigeria is RICH!
Reminiscing through those times, I can't but reaffirm that FOR SURE, NA THIS COUNTRY I GO MAKE AM! God Bless Nigeria

-Arewa Fola

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