Monday, July 03, 2017

This is my fourth pregnancy, how do I cope with judgemental comments?

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Hello Aunty Eya, I found your blog in March and have been glued since then. I have a little thing bothering me and would love if you can post anonymously for me. My husband and I are working but both in the teaching ministry. Financially we are struggling because honestly it's not easy with the cost of food items and house rent in this city where we live. I just discovered I am pregnant for the number 4 time. While we are thrilled to be having this baby, we weren't actually trying to get pregnant and I'm sadly pregnant because I miscalculated my fertile days. I'd been tracking my cycle for years now, to avoid pregnancy, since our main form of birth control has been condoms. We
obviously knew the risks and were OK with them since the tracking worked ... until it failed.

 Our older kids were very well planned, and while we'd talked about how we thought maybe we wanted more, we hadn't actually decided not to go for another baby just yet until maybe the situation of things improve. I cried my eyes out when I got a positive pregnancy  test -- I thought my period was just late but I was wrong. Well after being reluctant for a while, I had to tell my husband and he scolded me for calling a pregnancy a mistake or an accident and preached a sermon that all pregnancies come from God. Now I am a bit worried about some judgemental comments from family and friends who know our financial muscle. I got a teaching job in a private school last year but had to quit because of excessive stress, now am just managing in a small school while hubby teaches in a bigger school. Both our monthly income joined together is not even up to 200k and we still have extended family responsibilities plus three kids to cater for. This pregnancy makes me feel like a fool who doesn't know what the economy is saying. 

Some years back, I had a conversation with my SIL about someone she knew who told lots of people that one of her kids was an accidental discharge. SIL was just horrified that someone would say that about their kid. And all I could think was, well, yeah, sometimes you get pregnant when you're not expecting and that's an accident. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Still, I'm not comfortable, feel like just hiding in my room all through the nine month period. I really would appreciate any advise on how to manage this unexpected pregnancy after 3 bubbly kids. Please any advise will do.


  1. Do you want to abort the baby? Once you can answer this truthfully, then you have no problem. I wonder why you are concern about what people say. Do they assist you finacially? So what is their business with the number of kids you are having? Your concern should be how to take care of your family. Go for family planning to avoid a repeat. Atimes babies bring good luck and our desired breakthrough.

  2. AnonymousJuly 04, 2017

    My dear, don't worry about it. These kind of babies bring luck. He/She will open doors for you. You will not struggle to feed or take care of this child. Just watch and see.

  3. it is well dear... im sure you know some couples would pay millions just to have that baby you currently are sad about.

    Look on the positive side of things and also other side businesses you can do to boost the family's income.

    Recall, it is God that feeds the birds in the air.

  4. Hahahaha that's the same way I felt when I got pregnant with my third baby, because I wasn't working just managing my catering business from home but all the expenses are been cater by hubby and I told myself what will be will be, you don't have to bother yourself with what family members will say, Just tell God to help you n your hubby to cater for the kids.

  5. It al boils down to planning. I know a lot of families that don't earn up to 100k a month that is both d man n woman but they still manage to live comfortably. Live within ur budget as u don't pay house rent every month.children school fees also isn't monthly sO all u both need to do is plan. I am very sure this baby is going to bring u goodluck. There is nothing to b ashamed of. God will c u tru


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