Tuesday, July 12, 2016
STEP PARENTING: WHAT CAN I DO TO MIND MY BUSINESS WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY?
Hello Aunty Eya, plese help me post on the blog. I am writing you this early because I need help with step parenting. My husband has a 16 year old daughter who just moved in with us last year just before Christmas. She is supposed to have left secondary school but it seems her mum couldn't afford further education and could not register her for WAEC or NECO. Now, Hubby cares only about himself and, me seeing the type of man that my husband is, I stopped after two children so that in case push comes to shove, I'll be able to sponsor my two kids without having to crawl and beg.
So, both my boys are still in Primary school but when my step daughter moved in, I asked her to go back to school so she can be useful to herself instead of just cleaning and watching TV, I have a house help so her cleaning is basically her own wears and dishes. Tried to discuss with my husband about her Education but he doesn't seem too interested, I quietly told myself that I'll do the best I can to help her. With my civil servant salary, I managed to buy school supplies and got her Registered while hubby only managed to pay her School fees after many reminders from me. She started school
and all the while it's been me providing school supplies from Sandals to school uniform to bags and books and I wasn't complaining until now.
With all my sacrifices, all I demand from my step daughter is respect but am not getting it. I see respect for a few days after she receives money or school supplies from me, after that we go back to disobedience and rebellion. Like yesterday, I told her am on sick leave and need rest from any kind of noise, then she comes home with a friend and starts watching loud TV, when I called her aside and complained, expecting she'll either turn it off or turn down the volume, nothing happened and she could't even say sorry. The loud noise continued until they ended their movie and her classmate left. I complained to my husband and all he could say to me was that when he refused her coming to stay with us, that I insisted and begged and that now she is her I should manage. This is not the first time I feel disrespected by her and I really am no longer interested in supporting her financially. Last night I took a decision to not spend my hard earned money on an ingrate and I'm feeling guilty already. What can I do to mind my business without feeling this guilt?