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Saturday, July 09, 2016

HONESTLY, I WISH I WASN'T A WORKING MUM

Image credits; My brown baby.
When I was a little kid growing up in the North, my mom didn’t work outside of the home. Instead, she stayed home with me and my sisters, playing with us and cooking every meal we ever wanted to eat, teaching us things, reading the yellow hard cover "my book of bible stories' with us and prying along, caring for us, and when we got older she dusted her certificate and went back to work as a staff nurse at a hospital. She would “go back to work” eventually, but while we were small, she was a full-time parent. When I was preparing to have my own child, I wasn’t sure if that was something that I wanted or not. Ultimately, the financial realities of my working class family meant that it wasn’t really a decision I had to make, because my family needed me to be working to sustain us in this economy. And to be honest, being with my son 24/7 and having nothing else that I had to do during the lengthy postpartum period made me feel antsy and weird. When I started working, and especially when I started working on a  schedule, it

felt good to contribute to my family financially and have something else to think about. But as time wears on and as the baby grows and his needs change, I long for the simplicity of, “just being a mom.” Honestly, I wish that I wasn’t a working mom at all.

It’s a complicated issue, and I’m the first to admit that when we talk about “working moms versus stay-at-home moms” it’s never as simple and black and white as it seems. I’m living proof of this fact. I consider myself a working mom because I work  9 to 5, Monday to Friday every week except on public holidays and "call in sick" days, and I bring home a paycheck comparable to that of my husband. But I’m the one also home with my kid when he is sick, awake when he is sick and cannot sleep. Playing with him when he is bored. Sitting to feed lond hours when he is not interested.
Aunty, I'm sorry, mom just ranting stuff off my chest. Never looking forward to Mondays, work is intense. I wish I can stay home as we prepare for more kids while my spouse works but his paycheck alone? I don't know...

4 comments:

  1. Times haff changed. Life is getting harder. Everything more expensive by the day. Not working can be suicidal. N stress kills faster. Weigh your options. Getting a helper ( hubby relation) might help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousJuly 11, 2016

      Hubby relation ke!Except no b yoruba ooo.They don't help much lik sm1 frm d wifey side.

      Delete
  2. I felt this exact same way when I was working- I felt I wasn't giving my son the attention and time he needed. I git home from work to literally feed and bath him and we go to bed. I struggled with this but then, I lost my job at the beginning of April. Since then, I've also continued to be a working mom, only, I'm a stay at home one. It's almost even more hectic being a stay at home mum but I'm happy because my son has learned so much in just a few months courtesy of our constant communication: he's only 19 months now but he understands igbo language as that's all I speak to him.
    I'm back training for a new career path and often work online from home but I'm just glad I'll still have quite a bit of time to spend with him as I'll be putting to bed soon so I'll have some time off. When I do go back to work, I've decided to only take contract jobs of say 6 months at a time an don't really a permanent job per se.
    As much as I did feel bad when I lost my job, I was secretly relieved I now had a reason to actually stay home with my child as that was what I really wanted to do.
    It's not easy, but you have to do what's best for your family in the present times.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Being a working mum is not that easy. We only need to find a balance.

    ReplyDelete

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