Wednesday, June 08, 2016

My Fiance Relocated To Abuja; Should I Move On With My Life?

Guys I need your advice, because am tired and confused at the same time. Am 24yrs being dating these amazing guy for 5yrs now and the relationship has be OK even talking about settling down. Late last year he relocated to Abuja and since then things has changed. He got a new job and all the things he does like calling, texting etc stopped. I complained because the whole thing was annoying, We had issues ‎and for 1month to 2months we didn't talk, his best friend called for a meeting and we saw after. After the meeting I kept asking him what's in between us and if he still loves me like he used to, I got the
shocker of my life when he said it was complicated and that I made it so. Have tried by all means to know his reasons for that statement  but nothing is coming out of it. 

I spoke to his friends few days ago his friend made a suggestion that we should play a foolish game and watch what will happen. His friend suggested that I send him a messages which I did but he didn't reply, his friend said I should relax since I have played my own part. His friend told me that he doesn't have anyone in his life because he doesn't even have time for himself. My problem now is I don't even know what's in his mind, should I just be patient or just move on with my life am very very confused and hurt. I really love him sincerely and his mom has been so wonderful to me.
 please what should I do?‎

13 comments:

  1. Well, I'm not a guy but feel like saying something to you. 5 years, that means you started dating him at 20 and uptill now you guys are not even engaged? Distance can lead to a whole lot of things. This Abuja eh, some married men come here and fall prey to "Abuja marriage" I'm not trying to scare you but life is not easy right now. Does he have his own accommodation or squatting with someone?

    Ok, he says "it's complicated" without fear that you might leave him? If anything was your fault, he'd have told you, the fact that you are trying so hard to make him talk and he is refusing to talk should tell you something. I'ts complicated? If he was talking, you'd have known what to do next but he isn't and I don't think you want to be kept in suspense until God knows when. I hope he hasn't found someone and is trying to play games while smartly trailing you along?

    Don't base your judgements on just what his friends are telling you, they will be more loyal to him. Send him a message again that since he isn't ready to tell you what you did wrong and isn't talking about what's complicated, that you don't think you can continue that way. If he still doesn't reply or call, you are an adult, not tied with any ring. Think of the wasted years maybe and ask God for guidance.

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  2. AnonymousJune 08, 2016

    I think you should move on

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  3. Dear Poster, I understand that you need closure right now, but the way he is acting is typical of a man who doesn't know how to break up with a woman. The length of time you date a man doesn't mean he is the right person for you. Long distance relationship is hard and only people who are truly meant for each other will make it to the alter.

    I think you should move on with your life and end it with him. You are too young for this drama. Get over him and start dating again, you'd be surprised you will meet someone soon who will treat you better. Good luck.

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  5. AnonymousJune 08, 2016

    Poster I really am not sure it can be sorted out on phone.have u tried meeting him one -one over this issue asides the meeting u had with his friend as the mediator?if he has a place of his own why not pay him a surprise visit and have a heart to heart talk with him.if there's anything wrong,ul surely be able to place ur finger on it after that visit and please remember during d duration of ur visit there to keep your thighs glued together as though u used alraldite!discuss with God before makin any move.

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  6. AnonymousJune 08, 2016

    Poster I really am not sure it can be sorted out on phone.have u tried meeting him one-on-one over this issue asides the meeting u had with his friend as the mediator?if he has a place of his own why not pay him a surprise visit and have a heart to heart talk with him.if there's anything wrong,ul surely be able to place ur finger on it after that visit and please remember during d duration of ur visit there to keep your thighs glued together as though u used alraldite!discuss with God before makin any move.

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  7. Okay. But I decided on Sunday not too call or next him anymore. After I sent him a message he didn't reply I called he didn't return or pick the call. Then I sent him a message again that I tried calling that he didn't pick then he replied with it is well. That's when I decided not to call or text anymore. But I send him a message just as you have directed.

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  8. All we would advice here would be based on assumptions & personal experience... There are many possible scenarios, but I think the primary ones are:
    1. Your guy is unsettled in his current job - challenges in the office, not sure he made the right decision, etc. Hope he shares his 'good & bad' moments with you - that's a +ve sign. If not - hmmm
    2. He might equally be reviewing his relationship with you - are u really the right girl or you're just fun to be with? A man planning to settle down does real analysis.
    3. Some other girl have come into the equation and he's really confused. Does he look like someone that is ready to settle down or he's just a soup taster? Tough question to answer, if all you care about is actually momentarily fun.
    Whatever the situation, you should not be too anxious - maintain a +ve attitude & give him some space to clear his head. It is the man's place to do the chasing... it's not fun when it's the other way round, expect you committed an offense!

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  9. Please Ignore him forever. Hate cowards that can't spell things out. Go through the healing process; cry and move on

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  10. AnonymousJune 08, 2016

    Well poster, since you've called and messaged again and he didn't reply. I'll advice you to move on with your life. When a good guy goes, a better one comes. That's my slogan. Maybe God is preventing you from future issues in marriage.

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  11. AnonymousJune 09, 2016

    Move on.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My dear poster,, my advice for you is that you should give him some space and let him remember your worth, it's not your job to do the chasing. Some similar happened to me. Let me give you the advice my grandma and mother gave me some years back. They said, a woman do not put a man in their heart, you out a man on your shoulder so that when the wight gets so heavy has you currently feel now, you can easily put it. I hope you got my point?? As I was saying, something similar happened to me years back, I was dating this guy who I was so stupidly in love with and he started misbehaving so! I let him be for 3/4months without calling and texting, and when he called after that 3/4months later I presented not knowing who was on the line Hehehehe!! My dear, after a week of that call, he came down from Abuja to kaduna to see me and that's how he proposed and met my mum and sisters that same day! How I am happily married with a 2 beautiful kids. I'm not saying, my truck will work for you but my point is, give him space and have an open mind, who knows what could happen!! You may meet the Mr right at that time.

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  13. The best advice you'd ever get is 'MOVE ON'. It is very hard, and no one would bear the pain of moving on except you but for your sanity, you need to do it. You are 24 and still young so, why are you saddled with a man for five years, since you were nineteen right? Explore the world my dear and meet incredible people. Have an open mind, invest your time in something worthwhile, make new friends and hang out more often. Erase him from your mind and one day, you'll see that he'll call you to explain things but when that day comes, you'd have distanced your heart from him.

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    ReplyDelete

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