His Libido Has Disappeared? Does That Happen?

Hello Aunty Eya, I am an ardent reader of wives connection that needs you to post  a little something for me. I need other people's opinion about what to do after four years of hot water in my veejay. Yes I splash in some warm water to calm the urges and it works temporarily. I have been married 6 years but we've been a couple nearly 8 years. Sex was always fine but since marrying it has fizzled out and last time we made love was nearly 4 years ago. The difference is it's my husband whose sex drive has completely disappeared. (I am tempted to have an affair) I am consumed with frustration, anger, self-
pity, but most of all frustration because I could still fancy him. I still love my husband to nuts. I have tried EVERYTHING  POSSIBLE to turn him on but nothing works and I am left feeling like a freak.  I FEEL SO USELESS AS IN WHAT ELSE CAN I DO??

I don't fancy anyone else but I know if someone came along and was nice to me - just a cuddle would be lovely - I am in danger of falling for them so I feel the only thing left that I can do is to move out but I cannot imagine raising my two kids in a broken home. I grew up in a broken home and if I try to remember what I suffered in my step mother's hand

? The story won't end today. Which woman pours iced water on a child for bed wetting? Well, that's the kind of torment I experienced and will fight with my last drop of blood to see my child raised in a normal home. I'm thinking of moving out because while still here there is nothing I can do like meeting people or dating . Moving out I feel will give me some kind of freedom but what about my kids? (While I still live with him, it's his house so he has control of everything) so that if I do fall for someone affectionate at least I can respond. It's just not what I signed up for. I feel cheated and rejected and discarded.  I feel so old and unwanted already.

I can't accept that his libido has 'disappeared' which is what he told me some years back and repeated again a few months ago. How does that happen? And isn't it the case that a man who loves his wife wants to pleasure her regardless? In my experience a man gets pleasure from pleasing the woman he's with. So what I'm left with is the conclusion that he's bonking someone else and lying about it. That's the only scenario I can think of that fits the reality. It's not pleasant and I do sympathise with my fun loving self for having to go through this in my lifetime. What am I expected to do?


  1. Sorry poster. If he is bot giving you any sign of cheating, then maybe he is not presently cheating. He can be protecting you from a disease he may have contacted outside, like HIV. Some men do that to protect their lovely wife. Pls still keep trying with him, recommend him to see a doctor. It is well with you.

  2. I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the part where she said it has been 4 years since they last had sex... My advice will be no good here. Just sticking around to tap some tips from other people's comments. :)

    Lady G

  3. For 4years? Oh dear it is too much, if he is really trying to protect u from a sickness he has I think u should hv ought to know by now or if he is cheating with another idiot u should know now Haba. Hmmm my husband thought he was smarter than me when he tried one nonsense for going to 2 month without sex with me, I guessed he was cheating, saw some foolish message from different ladies on his phone, him telling the other he really missed her and the other telling him how much she loves him and another one authorising him to give her the money he promised her, I was very double founded, shebi na me go fine wetin no dey fine me but that gave me a moral, I left the matter for some days acting more than normal but one day I confronted him by telling him why he doesn't want to have sex with me which is that he is cheating or he doesn't like having sex with me but he should know one thing which is that he doesn't even satisfy me on bed and I am considering cheating on him too, oh boy see my hubby face don change sharply sharply and he only focus on the cheating part I told him and didn't make a comment on himself cheating. It is a long story but the truth of the matter be say that thing I told him really changed him and even till yester night he has been checking my phone to know if any man send any love massage to me lol.

  4. Hmmm....this is not good. For how long will you be in the sexless marriage? Cheating is not the answer however he needs to find his libido wherever it went. Seat with him and talk about this issue again. Let him know exactly how you feel. Persuade him to see a doctor and go for tests (ensure you go with him). No sex in a marriage for few months might be acceptable but 4yrs is long. If we rule out that he is cheating then I believe there is a hidden medical condition that requires urgent attention. If it is a medical condition please support him all the way so you can get affection, romance and pleasure back into your marriage.
    Please stop the hot water. Help yourself to ease the stress and frustration in the meantime.
    Do not forget to keep praying for your husband and yoyr marriage as a whole.

  5. Pls o,what can I do or take to enhance my libido,am a woman with kids

  6. Madam start taking daily supplements, your husband won't even be able to keep up with you.

  7. Supplements like?pls help me,he was my first ad dis has been de problem since,sometimes he will said dat am sick,dat every woman is supposed to have sex urge, I asked one doctor if dere is anytin I can take but he said is from de mind set,help o I want to experience it


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