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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Confused Two-Time-Bride To Be

If I say that this platform has not made me an intercontinental cook in my husband's house,know you that am the worst liar on earth, this blog has made me the best cook in my home,in fact ,other wives and sisters in-law can't even see my brakes light,all thanks to wives connection oo, Aunty Eya please am writing this on behalf of my cousin sister,she got married in 2011 and left the marriage in early 2013 with a baby girl due to domestic
violence from the side of the man. Right now a guy is asking her hand in marriage but every thing change immediately she informed the guy she got a baby, he did not ask her how come instead he went and told his mother, his mother called her and was asking her if it was thru CS or normal delivery,the sex of the baby and so on,then she told her to come over to the son's place that they got some discussion and that she will be spending the night with them,so my cousin went and during the discussion it was his mother that made all the interrogation while the guy did the listening,the woman told my sister that she need to travel home with them to join them in their family liberation,two days ago she called and told me that the guy said that the mother told him that she my cousin do not love him enough,Aunty Eya check this,I told my cousin that this guy is not man enough, that I don't like the way he position his mother at the centre of their relationship,if they eventually marry the mother will be the one running the affair, Aunty this lady need a motherly advice,she's an orphan,the same year she lost both parent was the same year she left the God forsaken husband. she have gone thru a lot catering for her daughter from the first marriage all alone, I don't want her to make another mistake,meanwhile there was a day she overheard the guy on phone telling her male colleague that what he's seeing is beyond him that was  after my cousin told him she have a baby, Mummy Eya please we need ur piece of advice and other visitors of WC,thanks and God bless.

10 comments:

  1. I don't think its a good idea for her to marry him.
    The guy is still young at heart and can't make a decision without his mum.

    Let her not rush, a more matured guy will come her way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Abeg abeg abeg whats all of this just because he wants to marry her please he should have several seats, its either he wants to marry her or not why is she going to the village, they are treating her like this because they believe she has no family. Tell your cousin to put her foot down and say no and she should not follow them for any useless family meeting, where they will dissect her matter in a a way that is almost humiliating. So she has a child so bloody what whats the big deal, the only thing is that next time whoever she is dating she should let the person know up front.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Poster, your cousin left her husband, of about 2years, due to domestic violence… So I can assume that she’s separated and not divorced? Between 2013 and now, both families do not see any reason to intervene – abi dem no marry am properly; as in pay bride price? From your story, the husband’s case seems to be closed. However, if not properly closed, the husband can still claim ‘ownership’.
    Ladies (women) in the house, what would be your view if your son brings this poster’s cousin as the lady he wants to marry – knowing the little that you know about her…
    Some mothers can be overbearing and might be very outspoken. That does not make their sons’ mummy’s boys. The maturity of the guy will be tested on his own merit, and not because he informed mummy. If he had told pastor, would it be any different?

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  4. Let her not marry him if not she will go tru another divorce again,the right man will show up soon

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  5. Mbok y is he behaving like marrying her is ticket to heaven? Mitchewwww abeg let her leave him joooo n move on. Some families over do things dis era. What d going to village thing for n What's cs birth for? Some people can be backwards sha

    ReplyDelete
  6. If u marry dis guy u will divorce again. Y cant u pray dat God shud touch ur hubby and change him.d devil uses anger to spoil a man mind. Know d things he doesnt like and desist from it.ur MIL to be is nt okay wit ur baby status likewise d son. Let me tell u there is a couple dat use to fight each other wen they jus got married, buh guess wat, she studied her hubby and stayed away frm d things dat get him upset. Today they ve been married for ten yr and no more fighting. My hubby has never raised his hands on me. Bcos wen he gets me angry i am d one dat says i am sori, bcos i wont b able to pray to God of i dont. Buh do u kn wat God has averted frm ur way jus for saying i am sori. Pls if u marry dat guy, u will find sumthin u hate still and myt marry a third one. No one is perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Madam poster, calm down haba! why cant u advise ur cousin to focus more on loving herself, her baby?
    Now to d lady in question, didnt u learn anything in ur first broken marriage? Where are u rushing to?
    Why cant u focus more on the taking care of urself and ur baby pkus making more money and let love find u? Sorry for asking too many question even thoh am not expecting ur answers here but i will b glad if u could answer them in ur heart. That boy wil make ur life miserable if u marry him coz he is the only one in ur relationship. Mybdear Gather strenght, flip your hair and walk away from that situationship u call relationship.


    Zee

    ReplyDelete
  8. Madam poster, calm down haba! why cant u advise ur cousin to focus more on loving herself, her baby?
    Now to d lady in question, didnt u learn anything in ur first broken marriage? Where are u rushing to?
    Why cant u focus more on the taking care of urself and ur baby plus making more money and let love find u? Sorry for asking too many question even thoh am not expecting ur answers here but i will b glad if u could answer them in ur heart. That boy wil make ur life miserable if u marry him coz he is Not the only one in ur relationship. My dear Gather strenght, flip your hair and walk away from that situationship u call relationship.


    Zee

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  9. Tell your cousin to calm down. The break period is too short to jump into another marriage or is she doing this just to give the baby a father figure? She should do a rediscovery of herself first and things will fall in place with time.

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  10. The way people jump in and out of relationships is alarming. When leaving a relationship, make sure you severe all ties before hopping into the next.
    Poster, your cousin should get used to having meddling mothers in her business as long as she has a child and was married before. Most African mothers do not want to hear such news as, the girl has married before or has a child for a former husband and so on...
    I don't think she should have followed the man to his place for liberation and the stuff you mentioned in the post, it makes her come off as too desperate.
    I think she needs to sit down and have a clear map of her life in her head because as it seems, marriage is very important to her.
    Does she work? Is she doesn't, let her find work asap!
    She needs to re-evaluate her life and stop letting these men toy her around. Imagine this! The first one was a wife batterer, while the second is a scared mommy's boy whose mother would dominate her home. Doesn't this spell as a disaster already?
    Tell her to come back home and look for what to do. When her right man comes, he'll find her and will value her.

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    ReplyDelete

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