Thursday, April 30, 2015

Have you heard?

GUESS WHATS HAPPENING TOMORROW.

Something is happening tomorrow. Its something really big.Its not hidden. Some even say they've heard it on  major news network and TV station. Someone said Its on the Internet.

Something to try this weekend, Nigerian porridge

My Internet service provider were at their peak of misbehavior the whole of today. The way they render Internet service would make you wonder whether you subscribed on credit.

Thank God I didn't. Thank God I pay their monthly charge. I just don't get why I can't have a satisfactory Internet experience. Their service used to be my pride and joy before o. Suddenly, they started misbehaving. I'm still wondering what came over them.it's been so poor and terrible lately.

Ok. I shouldn't be ranting on this post abi. Well, just so you know who to hold responsible for this late post on Meal for the weekend.

So, back to the main discuss...
Our meal to try for the weekend is this appetizing dish. Yam porridge with green.

Nigerian yam porridge with green amaranthus vegetables

You would

My Husband Waiting For Me To End The Relationship?

Good morning Madame Eya and wives connection readers. I have been married to my husband for 13 years and most of it has been a great relationship. Last year in November,  I caught my husband chatting/flirting with a couple of women online. I confronted him about it, we talked through it and decided we weren't going to throw away our long enduring marriage. We promised each other honesty and transparency in our relationship. We promised to stand by each other through thick and thin, rain and sunshine. 

Although deep down inside I lost trust in my husband and was unhappy about it, I continued to work through it all. 6 months later I find my husband is chatting with women again and deleting messages so I couldn't see what was being discussed. I told him that I don't have a major issue with him chatting with female friends that he knows but I am not happy with him looking for people to chat with and then deleting conversations. 

My husband looked sober and told me the reason he deletes them is because I'll be angry if he was caught chatting with other women?? 
He also told me that he doesn't know why he does this, he's lonely but he still loves me. He feels that there is a big void in his life and that I deserve better. 
Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Mid-Week brain Teasers


Hello People,
It's time for another Mid week brain teasers.
Today, it's a collection of five questions. Let's see how fast you can come up with the answers.


1) What can you catch but not throw?
2) Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?


3) A man went into a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone at the party who drank the iced punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?


4)What does this mean? tiVALne


5) What starts with a P and ends with an E and has a thousand letters in it?


Oya o, let the answers roll in. And dnt ASK Google. Co's Google sef no know. Lol.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Someone's Letter " TO NIGERIAN PARENTS"

LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS.

I was as a student and then a resident in the UK. I live in Abuja now. One of first things that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents were. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same, except status-conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. Foreign students from other countries don't do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.
Monday, April 27, 2015

A Collection of Wise Sayings

Funny wise sayings. I hope they make you laugh like they did me.



The sayings of our elders are words of wisdom.

He who completely unwraps moimoi and gala before eating cannot keep a secret - Abraham Lincoln (1864)

Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of plantain without tasting any - Albert Macauley (1872)

He who says nothing lasts forever has never tried Hausa perfume - Nelson Mandela (1973)

Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from pepper soup, with his eyes wide open, is not afraid of anything - Williams Shakespeare (1900)

Anyone who graduates without experiencing a strike, has never been to Nigeria - Lord Lugard (1904)

He who refuses to mix agege bread and akara as a type of sandwich is a racist - Martin Luther King Jnr (1788)

Any man who drinks Alomo bitters without squeezing his face, is capable of murder - Michael Faraday (1899)

Drinking Garri doesn't mean u're poor, but allowing the Garri to swell b4 drinking is poverty - Queen Elizabeth (1893)

He who runs around looking 4 scissors to cut indomine seasoning sachet is not hungry - Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe (1947)

No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot cook yam - Prof Jega (2015)

Anyone who reads this without laughing is either looking for a job or needs money badly - Barack Obama (undated)


Lols. I'm still laughing.

Monday Morning Meditation

MONDAY MORNING MEDITATION: What to Do About the Deadliest Threat of the 21st Century

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." ~ 2 Timothy 3:16, NIV

¶ While I waited for the green light at a Lagos street junction, a man with the "Deaf and Dumb" signage hanging from his neck tapped on my window and pointed to the sign and to his mouth and stomach. Immediately, Jesus asked me, "Do you think I am deaf and dumb, Ogbo?"

"Lord, why in the whole universe would I think such thought of You, my Savior, my Lord and Master of Everything?"

"Millions of people think I am?"

"I know You know everything but how can You prove that one?"

••• Characteristic of Jesus, He wouldn't give me a direct answer. He went off to something like a tangent. In my secondary school of old, we called His kind of answer "off-point." Jesus would have failed many essays in my school. What the teacher expected wouldn't have been what He wrote. But there was a
Sunday, April 26, 2015

A different kind of picture




I actually got this from someone via whatsapps. At first glance, it looked like the normal everyday pictures you get for your dp. But on closer look, you'd realize it's actually some wisdom image.

The idea is something parents might want to consider, especially in these days of all sort of happenings and events. One can't be too guarded.

I hope you find it useful.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

See what this man found behind the closed doors




A man is driving down the road and breaks
down near a monastery. He goes to the
monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My
car broke down. Do you think I could stay the
night?" The monks graciously accepts him, feed
him dinner, even fixed his car. As the man tries
to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound.
The next morning, he asks the monks what
the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell
you. You're not a monk."

The man is disappointed but thanks them
anyway and goes about his merry way. Some
years later, The same man breaks down in
front of the same monastery. The monks
again accept him, fed him, and again fixed his
car. That night, he hears the same strange
noise that he had heard years earlier. The next
morning, he asks what it is, but the monks
reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to
know. If the only way I can find out what that
sound was is to become a monk, how do I
become a monk?"
The monks reply, "You must travel the earth
and tell us how many blades of grass there
are and the exact number of sand pebbles,
when you find these numbers, you will become
a monk."

The man sets about his task. Some 54 years
later, he returns and knocks on the door of the
monastery.
He says, "I have traveled the earth and have
found what you have asked for. There are
145,236,284,232 blades of grass and
231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the
earth."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are
now a monk. We shall now show you the way
to the sound."


The monks led the man to a wooden door
where the head monk says, "The sound is right
behind that door." The man reaches for the
knob, but the door is locked.
He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?"
The monks give him the key, and he opens the
door. Behind the wooden door is another door
made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door.
The monks gave him the key, and he opens it,
only to find a door made of ruby. He demands
another key from the monks, who provide it.
Behind that door is another door, this one
made of sapphire, And so it went until the
man had gone through doors of emerald,
silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to
the last door."

The man is relieved to know that he has finally
reached to the end .
He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and
behind that door he is amazed to find the
source of that strange sound.
He couldn't believe his eyes. At last, so this is it...
This was what was causing the noise...
What he actually saw was a...oh, oops, sorry
he can't tell you what it is because you're
Not a monk...


If you want to know, you know what to do.
Lol...
Hope you are enjoying your saturday.



Get in here people, I need your opinions

Goodmorning Family.
Get in here, let's discuss this.

Personally, as a single lady, sometimes I secretly desire to marry a widower.
You know, someone who was once married, but lost his wife, and has kids (2-3max) to cater for. In short, a  single father.

Probably in his late thirties or early forties,but he has to be a successful man o,he must also be goodlooking too...lol.
He has to be very comfortable,must be able to take great care of his family even in his sleep. Most importantly, he MUST be a Godlover. Not a church goer.

Should I come across such man today, after dating him for some period and marking my checks with yes, I will gladly be his wife and fill the mother space for those kids. Probably cos I'm a student of Education, I just love children. And what more, they love me too.

But most of my friends think I've gone mad, infact
they pronounce me insane for ever nursing such thoughts.

How could you ever think of such ? Bola wondered. She's been wondering since.

Well, that's her headache, not mine.

Perherps, you're wondering if I'm sane. Yes, I am very sane,and trust me, I know what I'm saying.

And to answer your next question, "why would a young lady like me prefer that class of men".

Well, I just believe widowed men make better husband, lol...abi?

Wait, just before you cast your stones at me... see, i'm a hardworking single lady in my late twenties, I've  seen all sort, heard stories, witnessed some, seen and read people's experiences and all, so I know what I'm saying when I said I prefer that class of men.

Compared to most eligible but unmarriageable bachelor's we have around these days, Men in this category are more matured and quite experienced to some extent, I also think they know how to treat and relate with a woman better.

Probably because i'm very matured in my thinking and attitude to life, I find it very difficult to cope with the irresponsible behaviors of lot of young men these days, even those in the church.They just don't know where they are going or what they want in life. I don't want to marry a man who can't provide me security, I don't want to follow a man who doesn't know where he's going, this is not twitter abeg, this is real life.

Again, I believe men in this class have a better developed character, they know when and where to draw the lines,and as a result of them being married once, their sense of commitment must have deepened. The fact that they have children will also
make them more responsible and committed. He will also be able to provide security in every area.

One of the things I look out for in a man is his sense of direction and character. Mr perfect doesn't exist I know that, but please, some men are more perfect than the other jor. I'm  not perfect, but I know I'm more articulate than some girls. And I'm not being judgmental.

I believe Mr widower has a clearer sense of direction,
with a better defined purpose. Would know how to cater for his family. Now that's a man worth having as a husband.

So What about me? What am I bringing to the table...don't let me blow my own horn yet, you let him find and marry me first, then come and ask him after few years. He will proudly make you envious of him. * winks*

My reasons are much more, but so as not to bore you, let me pause here.

Now, am I saying there's no guy with these qualities amongst today's bachelor? No. But you have to admit it's a needle in a haystack search.

Am I also saying that all widowers have these qualities? Hell NO! But most times, it's reasonably fair and the search is easier compared to the first set of men.

So, yesterday afternoon, there was another debate
with my girlfriends on this topic again, as usual, they all concluded I was insane...lols.

Then I thought,why not even bring it to WC sef. Let's hear what they think.
Oya o, the floor is open. Wives, Men, Ladies, mummies, daddies, widowers, everyone...

What do you think of my choice. Do you think I'm
insane wanting to marry a Cute Godloving widower?



Friday, April 24, 2015

My Sharp-sharp Nigerian Jollof Rice

Well, this might not be much news, but at least let me share...lol

Cooking is one of my favourite past-time.
Yes naa, how did you think I stumbled on Wives-Connection three years ago. I cant wait to show my hussy my small cooking skills...heeehee.
Although, im suspecting I might employ a trained cook , and that's because mental work itself is big work. But until then, let me keep practicing my culinary skills as a single lady jare.

Back to the gist, see, I love cooking so much I can cook straight from sleep, not that I'm a pro though, just that I enjoy cooking. And, I try to get creative too, mixing all sort of spice. But lately, I've cut down on most of those spices, especially when WC recipes hardly mention them.

So, I made this Nigerian sharp sharp jollof rice this morning, abi is it emergency rice sef..At first I didn't
want to share, but then I said, why Not.

It's my sharp-sharp jollof rice picture story.

Twas quite delicious. Nothing much went into the
prep, apart from the remaining smoked hotdog and small chicken( smoked too) in the freezer, haaa, yes, I added small garlic to the pepper before blending.


Pepper + tomato+ small garlic+ onions = pepper paste.

The pepper wasn't smooth . What else did I add O... haa, yes, I added curry and thyme too...lol.
I wanted to add dry fish, but I forgot... lol.
By the time I remembered, my rice was done, well, it can't waste, im using it for my soup tomorrow.

OK, so here's the picture story. ENJOY!


The making. I fried the onions first before pouring the pepper mixture.


When the pepper was a bit fried, I added the hotdogs and chicken.

lets see how fast you can figure out this illusion

Get in here people. It took me quite a while to crack this smart image. Let's see how fast you can crack it.





Amazing illusion.
Look again.
What you see is sometimes not where there is.

What do you see?

#Apologies for this week missing Wednesday brain teasers. I lost my device last Saturday and couldn't retrieve lots of my contents,(including my collection of brainteasers). But not to worry, we won't miss it nextweek.


Now back to the illusion. WHAT DO YOU SEE ?








Thursday, April 23, 2015

WEEKEND RECIPE 5

INVITING RIGHT? YEA, I KNOW TOO.



Personally, im not a fan of egusi soup, (except of course its my grandma cooking it).Its just not on my list of top five Nigerian soups, but thank God, everyone isn't like me. And i shouldn't deny blog visitors this recipe just because im not a fan.

Ordinarily, egusi soup is not something i would delight to cook, but trust me, with a recipe as sumptuously dishy as this, im seriously considering cooking egusi soup this weekend. You know that feeling you have when you just want something very different. Besides, this egusi is just too inviting and irresistible... abi dont you agree with me?

As usual, below is the link to the recipe, open it and view the wonders people with magic fingers can perform in the kitchen.

http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2013/10/how-to-cook-egusi-soup-with-sweet.html


Im tasting this soup in my mouth already. Why not try it this weekend. Im sure your taste buds will thank you for it.


Happy cooking.

Water In Your Phone? Get A Bag Of Rice




I am one mom who's very good at hiding her mobile phones from restless crawling walking babies,blaming other mothers for letting kids throw their phones in buckets of water and I called that carelessness but, this time, I don't know what happened and he found it. Before anyone could stand up to grab, it was aleady in a cup of water. I vex eh! The phone continued to work after I opened and cleaned it up. Later in the evening, everything went blank and it won't come on. My Bil overheard me talking about taking it to Emab or GSM village for repairs and he tells me there's no need for repairs, that rice alone can fix it for me. The bag of rice delivered


It's been three months now and the phone is still working perfectly fine and even posting to the blog. I opened it up, brought out the battery and sim cards, dipped the phone in a bag of rice and left it there for two days as advised. I forgot to bring it out on the second day so the following day it came out looking very dusty. I wiped with
Tuesday, April 21, 2015

I Did As He Wanted, Now He Contacts Me Again?

Hello Aunty Eya and fellow blog readers, I need you all now please.
Nine months ago I made the biggest mistake of my life! I was in love with a married man who said he loved me too. The relationship lasted 3 years before we had a big quarrel I very selfishly told his wife about our relationship! I was such a fool and I've felt guilty ever since. They were both very very  angry but she eventually forgave him and took him back. 

He contacted me and said he never wanted to see, smell or hear from me again and that I meant nothing to him! I was totally heart broken and hurt, depressed for a while but I did as he asked and backed off.

 I made no contact with him, I left well alone! Then about 3 weeks ago, I started receiving emails from an unknown email address and they said they were a friend of my ex and that he had asked them to contact me to
Monday, April 20, 2015

Royco Women Who Really Cook Contest






















ROYCO WOMEN WHO REALLY COOK CONTEST.
 Royco Nigeria is Rewarding Women Who Make Tasty Meals
So everybody says you make delicious meals. Are you the go-to person when that friend wants to try a traditional recipe or prepare the old ones in a new way? If you are, then this competition is for you!
Royco seasoning cubes which consist of Royco Beef, Royco Goat Meat & Royco Chicken cubes is giving away Full Kitchen appliances and N100,000 to amazing African cooks.
Do you want to be a winner in the Royco Women Who Really Cook Contest? It is very simple. Every week during the competition, Royco will give out a cooking theme from the different ethnic groups in Nigeria. Participants will be required to follow these themes when preparing their winning African dish. To participate; all you need do to is upload quality pictures of indigenous and original recipes you have prepared! One African woman will be selected by the Royco team.

Entries will be selected based on the following: cleanliness, theme of the week, presentation of Meal, the quality of your image & use of Royco.
A little birdie said submitting your entries in a collage form showing yourself making the meal can earn you extra points. Remember you must capture how you used any of the Royco Seasoning in your picture and also your pictures should be of good quality. When all this is done, upload your picture here: https://a.pgtb.me/c98hbK

Follow Royco Nigeria here: http://goo.gl/i9Bmjn for more information.
Remember terms & conditions apply: http://goo.gl/PaQA5F
Get cooking and start winning now!Get cooking and start winning now!

MONDAY MORNING MEDITATION 5

MONDAY MORNING MEDITATION: The Malignant Pathology of Nigerian Tribalism (PART 2)


"Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him." ~ 1 John 3:15 (NIV)

¶ The brutal murder of Emmanuel Sithole, a Mozambican in South Africa, captured by a journalist, is a grim reminder of what hate can do with the human heart. Poor Emmanuel probably expected too much from the human heart - to have casually walked into the streets of burning hate and expected to make it through. Those who found him dead saw three armbands on his wrist that read: "United for Bafana."
The events in South Africa, and the recent pushing overboard at sea of Nigerian and Ghanaian Christians explains Jesus's teaching that he who hates his brother without a cause is guilty of murder - and why no tribalistic person will 'smell' heaven, no matter how religious.
Let's bring it home to the stench of tribalism in Nigeria, and moreso in the Nigerian church.


••• During the Oba of Lagos saga (which

How Do You Save With Fifteen Thousand Naira Monthly Income?

Savings on very low income, is it possible?
This was meant for me but I couldn't answer so I'm posting here, who can help break down fifteen thousand naira for a 30day month and leave something for savings? Please help us. Is it possible to save on a monthly salary of #15,000?

PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP AUNTY...MY SALARY IS #15,000 MONTHLY,I AM WORKING AS AN OFFICE
Sunday, April 19, 2015

Should People Take Off Shoes At Your Doorstep?

Shoes inside or outside the house? 

Shoes are seen at doorsteps, beside footmats almost everywhere one visits. Some shiny, dirty, unpolished, with tiny dog poop, with some careless driver's cough phlegm or mucus, with some mud, stepped on some roadside leftovers... Inside the living room some people are seen still wearing their well buckled shoes while in some cases, children and domestic staff like drivers and gatemen plus househelp are barefooted.

In Canada for example, people must wear their shoes at all times whether they are guests visiting or in their homes.

I have a few experiences where I leave my shoes outside only to be made a little uncomfortable by dust or sand on the floor or carpet.

Whether it be
slippers, bata sandals or any type of shoe, I am one person that doesn't like to take off my shoes unless
Saturday, April 18, 2015

Throw-back Saturday

Hey family.
Happy Saturday.
Who remembers these biscuits?



As a kid, I loved eating Okin shortcake back then. I wonder what happened. Who else remembers these biscuits.

Anti-Immigrant Violence In South Africa, Who Remembers How We Fought Apartheid?

 Image courtesy: Biyokulule
You fear strangers? Who helped you then?
I was still a child in Primary School, we were taught about a country called South Africa, a system of Government called Apartheid, Nigeria and other coutries in the fore-front to set YOU South Africa free.
South Africa today is maiming, killing these same people who stood by her without

Please Vote Baby Barry Joel

Please click the link to vote Barry



Hello Eya, I'm a regular reader of your blog and please, I need fellow blog readers' assistance to help my son win a baby competition that he is in. Please I wish to
Friday, April 17, 2015

Your Clothes Do Not Befit My Wife ...Should I Try Hubby's Idea?

Hello Everyone
Aunty Eya pls post this for me anonymously. I need your advice & those of other wives. Thanks

I have been married for 12 years with  children and  I don tire o!!! please help and advice me on how household finances are run because I do not know how as unfortunately this was also my mother’s condition as she alone carried the family during my childhood. The issue is tearing my family apart!! God I want deliverance o!! Please!! I am a salary earner and my hubby is a businessman but his business is seasonal. once there is a need I fill it thinking we are one. Now he is used to it and whether he has or not I am stuck with the bills. Now I don't have any savings & all my money is spent on the family but my hubby still shouts that I do not do enough & that he doesn't know how I spend my money. As I am I no get gold, I no even get better clothes. Even he said this year that he doesn't like some of my clothes that they do not befit his wife!! Yet!! Do I not need deliverance so?!! Am at my wits end o!!

I want to

How Do You Wear It Better?


This is me, after my baby's dedication and Reception back home in December.
This is from my Facebook photos and I know some of us have seen it. I didn't share his dedication pics here in December because connection at the village was poor and uploading pics took too long. So, my sister says combining white with yellow is not great. She thinks that because we were dedicating a baby boy, white and blue would have been perfect. I disagree and for me, any colour or dress is perfect if it looks good on you.
After the child dedication service, hungry, tired, and sweating, I'm still a wrapper-tying learner. Would have done two wrapper if I could. lolz
I am not particular with colours, I go with what I find that's why sometimes I arrive late because I never pick out a dress ahead of time. I don't know if there is anyone else like that. I wait until it's time to go, then then begin to look for what to wear and sometimes I even walk out, get to the door, realise that what I'm wearing doesn't look ironed, or has a question mark, then I rush back in, look around and pick what is available. This is not the best but I guess that's how he created me because while I continue to repeat and repeat the easy to wear outfits, some would have spent a year without being touched.

 I hate it but do not know how to change. My
Thursday, April 16, 2015

Something to try this weekend 4




Let's go native this weekend. Something exciting to explore. You know groundnut soup is not an everyday soup. Why not give it a try this weekend. You will love it.
The process is fully explanatory.


http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2013/03/nigerian-groundnut-soup-with-ugu.html?m=1


I'm so trying this soup this weekend, but I intend to buy the grinded groundnut paste from the market (skipping the roasting part,lol).

Give your

Vegetable Soup Should Not Have Meat, Crayfish, Fish, Snails?

Vegetable soup with meat, stockfish, periwinkles, smoked fish, how can one suggest we take away all these proteins from the soup
This reply was left on my vegetable soup post, written by Chukwudi Udeh and it's worth sharing wioth you. After reading, I'm like... without the meat and fish and snails and cow skin, where will the Animal protein come from. If we just added vegetable to water and cook without some protein, what happens to God's command to Adam and Eve to Kill and eat the animals in the garden of Eden because those are there for food.

READ HIS COMMENT BELOW, left on the afang soup post.

Vegetable soup should only have vegetables in it. Whenever we start adding Goat meat Crayfish,
Smoked cat, Stock fish, Snails, Cow skin, Dry Shrimps, Bonga fish, it is no longer "vegetable soup". The health benefits of the soup has been tainted with the slaughtered blood and flesh of a once living, breathing being added in to it.

When we begin to kill to satisfy cravings is when we twisted our fate from eternal life to slow, conquering death. As stated in the ingredients, the meats are optional. Not required. However, We fail to realize that it is the seasoning, i.e. dried and grounded herbs/roots that gives the pleasant taste and aroma that excites the taste buds. The okazi, Water leaf, Periwinkle, and Hot leaf all contribute to a long and healthy life since the body processes this much faster then any flesh we trick our

The Pharmacist who commited sucide


Earlier this week, I read a post on another blog about the young  pharmacist who committed suicide. He was married and appeared happy. I also read that his widowed wife has since been detained and she's been questioned. Poor woman ( or maybe not) at least innocent until proven otherwise. Hnmmm... I happen to know someone who knew him (the deceased) from afar. According to him,there so much going on under the skin than on the surface. And here's  what he has to say concerning the incident.


.........................................................................
 Dr Ayomide FB  reaction to the incident.

Just reading this article about the demise by suicide of Paul Olafare, and I am only just learning of the arrest of his wife on suspicions of having murdered him. Checking around just now, I've seen many posts (both on the article and here on Facebook) from family and friends who knew him and are convinced he couldn't possibly have taken his own life.


Sorry, people, but no. Please. You can't KNOW that.


I've seen enough suicide attempts to know that hardly do others see suicide coming. What, after all, do we really know of the heart of anyone? I barely knew him myself (we did go to the same school, but that was about it), and I don't pretend to have the slightest clue about the details of the story. But I know enough to know that suicide can be as sudden as lightning and far more unpredictable. More than any other kind of death, suicide leaves in its wake the unanswered — and perhaps unanswerable — "Why?" The person who takes his life will never, by definition, offer an explanation.


And so a suicide becomes the ultimate loose end.

I say all this with the greatest respect for the grief of all who mourn him, family and friends. But I say it also wondering about his widow, in custody now for something that may well have been both more rudely shocking and devastating to her than anyone. I don't know her, but my heart goes out to this woman and her two children.

Who is looking out for them?

I fear she may be an innocent victim of our all-too-human aversion for loose ends. I fear his death may take two (or more) for the price of one.

May we all be more willing to leave questions unanswered than to hang another with an answer.




Dr Ayomide Adebayo is a Nigeria based Medical Doctor with speciality in Psychiatry. Two of his main focuses are depression and anxiety. He shares helpful tips on how to "Rise above it" on his twitter handle. 


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Mid-Week Brainteasers


Oya, let's see how fast you can get the answers.







Question 2 : if you are in a dark room with a candle, a wood stove and a gas lamp.

You only have one match, so what do you light first?


My Home Made Aganyin Beans.


Beans and stew with plantain.

Last week, I cooked beans. It's supposed to be aganyin beans, you know those well cooked beans you eat with special local stew. Only that, in my own case, I didn't have that special local stew. I hope I can still call it aganyin beans. But I made it anyway and i enjoyed it with my previous day left over stew... aganyin stew replaced with my local left over stew. Problem solved.
Enjoy my picture story,







Carefully handpick beans. You don't want to crush stones while enjoying your beans. The best variety of beans for this is Oloyin beans. Rinse and pour in pot, pour cold(ordinary) water, slice enough onions,and put on the stove. Dnt add anything. I understand some people add potash to soften it, I didn't add potash. All it takes is patience. Oloyin beans soften overtime.




Beans boiling. Allow the beans boil till very tender. keep adding water in gauged quantity. Nothing is added yet, not even salt.
You know the beans is soft when the water becomes very thick. Infact, it will start sticking to the pot.




 

When beans is fully cooked and very soft, I added salt, dry fish, half knorr cube and a little grinded crayfish. Then I covered for another 10mins. No pepper or oil 




Beans is READY!!!





Ready to be devoured...lol.


You  can try it too. It's something different from the everyday jollof beans we cook. If you cant  go through the stress of frying the special stew, make your own stew and give it a name. You can use palm-oil or Vegetable oil. Stew na stew jare.abi? Lol.






Win Free Airtime For Cooking Something Different

If you know any African/International recipe that is not yet here on our foodious wives connection, please cook, take step by step pics and send to us at cuulme@gmail.com
Explaining a bit how the meal is prepared. Your recipe will be posted here and you win free airtime for cooking something different.
Remember this, we have it here
This too is on wives connection
Our lovely Chicken Lasagna ingrediets, remember it?



All the recipes youn guys have posted are in this kitchen
The ones including my recipes can be found in this Dining Room
For recipes of  Nigerian soups with fufu swallow, check out this  Picnic park







There'e so much to cook already, we have hundreds of recipes on wives connection to the credit of our able chief chefs moi inclusive. I'd have loved to post all the pics so we remember what we already have here but that won't be possible so I'll just leave the links ( scroll back up to see them), so we check out for ourselves and know if what we are planning on experimenting is already on the blog or not. Sometimes our

Abducted Kids Have Been Found


Just going through my Dashboard for updates and there's news that the kids (3 boys) abducted by a housemaid have
Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Nigerian Chicken Sauce

Very well cooked, soft, tasty, juicy chicken in vegetable sauce, no oil added.
My Nigerian chicken sauce cooked with vegetables was served with spags and rice. This is truly delicious, plates were cleared and fingers licked. The step by step pics are so many and uploading too slowly, I'll keep updating when I upload until

The three stages of food/ body cycle



The body is designed for foods, not drugs. But when you eat at odd or irregular intervals, you will feel sluggish,weak and tired. It's advisable you observe and know your own body. Here are the three stages of food/ body cycle. I read it from a health book written by 'Ojo David Fajana'.

Replenishing Phase : 12:00noon to 8:00pm .
This is the best period to eat all your food if you want to stay healthy. It is the period for digestion and activity burning. When you eat during this period, you will feel good because your body has fully prepared to accept the food. This is the period your body is physically active and in motion. Body motion helps the digestion of food faster.


Rejuvenation Phase : 8:00pm to 4:00am.
This is the phase for relaxation, rest and sleep. It's is
the period the body processes and utilises the food eaten during the day. This is the period where the body breaks-down, and distribute nutrients into various department, to renew, reconstruct and build new body tissues. Healing takes place during this period. Repair and reconstruction are best when the entire system is at rest. When you sleep enough, you will wake up renewed and refreshed.


Elimination Phase : 4:00am to 12:00noon.
This is the period the body gets rid of waste and toxic
materials generated from the food we eat during the
previous day. During digestion, a considerable amount of wastes are generated. This waste must not accumulate, they must be completely removed. So this period is not the best time to eat. Whatever you eat during this period has the tendency to congest the system and force the body to re-absorb the waste and toxins. This could be a disaster sooner or later.

Well, since I read this piece, I've stopped eating breakfast at 8:00am. I have moved it to 11am,and last sunday, I ate breakfast (or is it brunch) at 12noon.
Wao, I couldn't believe it! Lol.

Instead, what I do in the morning is to drink water,or tea, sometimes I take fruits like banana or foreign pear, or I simply stay put on my tea. And I must say that, I've noticed considerable improvement in my health and systems.

I know it might be quite difficult to start this regime,
especially some of us who are already used to eating early. But it's something we might want to check out.

Nothing beats living healthy and staying healthy too.



Monday, April 13, 2015

Monday Morning Meditation 4

MONDAY MORNING MEDITATION: The Malignant Pathology of Nigerian Tribalism (Part 1)

"And they sang a new song, saying: 'You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased for God persons from every tribe and language and people and nation."" ~ Revelations 5:9, NIV

¶ Every tribe has their core strengths and weaknesses. Our Nigerian tribal weaknesses are well rehearsed daily, but very few of us have taken the time to meditate on our strengths. Take for instance these personal observations of Nigerian tribal strengths:

• Yorubas - diplomacy, spirituality and ancient wisdom (read the Yoruba proverbs!)
• Hausas - dependable, friendly, mercantile 
• Igbos - enterprising, daring, adaptable (they live in every corner of the planet!)
• Tivs - bold, warrior-like, hardworking
• Itsekiris - geniuses in administration and erudition
• Ijaws - dexterous masters of the sea 
• Efiks - extremely creative geniuses (I love them!)

You can add yours … Urhobo, Nupe, Kanuri, etc. Can you imagine what this country would have been if we made room for each other's strengths than sweat over tribal weaknesses! The sheer combined strength of 350 tribes would have made us the major power on earth, ranking us with the US, China and Russia! But all that remains a dream that will never be. I'll come back to that.

"Democracy" will never work in most parts of Africa just like it isn't working in the Middle East. Experimenting for 300 years is a waste of time - you won't be alive.The only system of government that would work in Nigeria is the very one our African ancestors practiced at about the same time democracy was budding in Athens. In the earliest of times, relationships between African tribes were sealed by covenants! And it worked!

Once a blood covenant was cut between two African tribes, peace and prosperity were permanently guaranteed. Intermarriages sealed bonds. I still remember communities we cut covenant with - even a thief won't steal from them! Therefore the system of government that will work in Nigeria is what I would hereby call "Tribal Covenants." You can break laws and go free but you can't break covenants and survive.

Nigeria was never put
Sunday, April 12, 2015

Re: Eko Hospital, There Is Nothing Any Hopital Could Have Done

Just to clarify,I am a medical practitioner myslf and there r various forums both social and otherwise whr we meet to exchange ideas and discuss various issues. Obviously when d story broke,no1 cud believe it cos sm things just didn't add up. Thr is no hospital whr d nurses esp those who run shifts will keep handing over a dead body supposedly abandoned on d ward by d hospital staff,it's impossible. Rigor mortis sets in after abt 6hrs and d body becomes stiff and difficult 2 move,who wants to deal with that?

The main issue is d cancer,look at d measures Angelina Jolie and Giuliana rancic took jst to save their lives? Yet this beautiful african woman,because of societal pressure didn't accept d offer of a mastectomy 2yrs ago because it's jst not comprehensible here. Which young nigerian woman in d prime of her life wt a fiance and plans for her future will cut off her breasts in a supposed attempt 2 save her life? Imagine d questions that arose in her mind: y me? Shd I tell my fiance? Even if I did,will he still want 2 continue wt d relationship and marry me? Hw will I breastfeed? Whr can I do breast reconstructive surgery in niaja and who will pay for it? I guess she decided to take her chances,live a normal life and pray for d best. Unfortunately pregnancy accelerates cancer cos of the hormonal influence and d minute she got pregnant,as harsh as it may sound,medically she was basically dead. D rest was jst borrowed time. Thr is nothing any hospital cud hav done for her on d planet if metastases is involved. The sudden death was most likely due 2 her throwing an embolus(a clot dislodged frm smwhr and got stucj in her lung,occluding her oxygen suppky and dt was it). It really is unfortunate.

Dnt get me wrong,I have my issues wt d hospital and hv been vry vocal abt dm and if any1 had told me I'd be an advocate for dm rt now,it wud hv caused a fight. Bt I'm honest and believe in giving honour whr due. This death was not their fault. It jst occurred in their hospital.
I'm taking my time 2 explain frm a professional view so u can understand. During my House job in luth a 4mths pregnant woman was found 2 hv cancer. She was offered d choice of terminating d preg instantly and starting chemo and radiotherapy 2 save her life or risk having the baby and hoping she wud hv enuf time left 2 fight d cancer after delivery. She was advised against d latter option bt dt was d choice she made. She hd her baby who was healthy bt was dead within a month of delivery. The hospital has its own issues but patient care and safety is not one of them. In fact!they are known ard as d hospital dt accepts cases othrs have rejected and dy dnt even insist on an admission deposit. Even wtout a kobo,u are given a form 2 fill and sign an undertaking that u will pay the deposit within 24hrs and once dts signed,dy commence treatment. All they ask for is your honesty that you'll keep ur word which some still don't do. Imagine sm1 that begged and his wife had her delivery ther,baby had jaundice and was managed accordingly. B4 hand he was told his estimate and agreed. Upon their discharge,he dropped twenty thousand naira and said that was all he had and ther was nothing they could do abt it. Who does dt?

R u aware that d reason y

My Own Made Fried Rice

So, I got bitten by the fried rice bug, I decided that after church today, I will experiment what I've learnt so far. This is about the third time I'm cooking fried rice in my entire life.
Pls don't laugh at me o, afterall I already confessed I'm not a professional yet. lol.

But, the fried rice came out well. Quite tasty and oil-less.I shared with my neighbour and my visiting friend. They all enjoyed it. I didn't even put curry or thyme or chicken stock. All I added was knorr
chicken, and fried rice spice. Well, it shows that curry isn't what makes your rice sweet and colourful jor...
Everybody knows how to make fried rice naa,so  just enjoy my pictures.


Frying onions, green pepper and red pepper. The onions went in first, I tossed it for like 5mins before adding the green and red pepper.

Diced Carrot goes

Commentary Reacting To Eko Hospital Press Release


The Eko hospital press release on the recent maternal death seems to have gained a favorable response from a good section of the public. Some have even branded it professional. We at Patient Safety Nigeria think otherwise. In italics is our commentary and the questions we would like answered: 
The management’s attention has been drawn to a one-sided social media narration of the unfortunate and tragic loss of 36 years old Mrs. DolapoAdesanya after child birth while under the care of EKO Hospital on Sunday, April 05, 2015.
In addressing the misinformation contained in an expectedly emotion laden though vitriolic missive by a “good samaritan” over what is truly a sad and tragic outcome of an event, the hospital will consistently respect the ethical patient-doctor privileges even as it acknowledges the deep sense of loss being felt by the family, friends, colleagues andindeed her husband and parents.
Given the public interest in the matter however, it is important to be aware of these facts:
  • Every loss of life is regrettable and death is occasionally inevitable in a hospital, EKO hospital will continue to dedicate itself to the highest level of healthcare service which allows it to treat from the simplest to some of the most complicated cases for
  • almost forty (40) years. It also uses all in its capacity to avoid preventable fatal outcomes.
  • Pulmonary embolism, the cause of death in this case is an entirely preventable outcome. She reportedly complained of leg pain and attended your hospital days prior to her death. This may have been the warning for an impending pulmonary embolus. Was she assessed for a deep vein thrombus at that time?
    • The

Re: Negligence At Eko Hospital

In response to the post on the alleged  negligence at Eko hospital that led to a mother's death almost immediately after child birth, this mail came in and the reason I'm publishing my personal mail here is to give us a better understanding of the Bimbo Ayuba's response below. It's always good not to conclude based on a one sided story...

The Mail:
I have read a bit about all the stuff going on online about the tragic young lady's death.
Yes it's true that bad news spreads like bush fire bt it should be the truth at least and despite the bad publicity and all the hate going on all over social media,even when the hospital released its statement,it still covered up for the deceased just so that her soulk could RIP. Remember it's not easy for hospitals to respond in times like this because of the Dr-Px confidentiality clause bt finally someone else has decided 2 speak out and honestly say what happened.

Yes the hospital has its lapses and so many things could be better but the one thing they do not joke about there is their patient's welfare. Each life is important and the medical staff there have been known to do their best just to save lives there.
Aunt Eya,I'm posting this here because you are a respected woman and I know you stand for d truth. I also made my enquiries there and got to know what happened but because of this confidentiality clause,they could defend themselves and the family requested it stay so,jst so the lady could rest. If you can ma,u do your own investigation. Unfortunately,u can't be shown her case records or anythn but contact her family(that is if they even knew because this same lady booked for her antenatal care at the same hospital using a different name and made no reference to the fact she was an old patient there and even had a file that was why tracing her records were quite difficult.

I just got this frm the hospital site and a concerned friend of the deceased I assume,put this up and I've decided to share it with you ma. Please stand for the truth,the hospital management aren't prefect and yes the hospital could be a million times better bt as regards a patient's life? No,they don't joke with that as many are practising christians and don't joke with their faith. For this death,they aren't to blame. Even her HMO and employers have investigated and absolved the hospital of any negligence. I am jst a concerned party who respects your blog and what you stand for. Please quote me as anonymous bt this is a copy of the mail sent in by their friend a Bimbo Ayuba which I'm resending to you ma. Let's not kill the morale of the few good Drs and nurses we have left here lest they all decide to relocate and leave the country stranded. God bls ma.
PS ma: this email is NOT for this Bimbo Ayuba o!! I jst saw this there and decided to forward it to you ma!

From Bimbo Ayuba:
My heart
Saturday, April 11, 2015

The Obama's At Church, No Special Seat

 At any available seat, First come basis?
When I opened this picture, was like wow! This, is the President of the United States of America, the most powerful man in the world right now, The first family sitting in the congregation with everyone else. Would you prefer they were given front row seats or this is just fine?

For me, I

My Miracle Has Arrived, Mid Night prayers Helped

Please all WC give this Mighty GOD,irreplacable GOD,Extra-Ordinary Strategist,the Reason for My Existence.give HM a thunderous Alleluiaaaaa for making it possible for me to conceive and deliver succssfuly 30days ago, a bouncing baby Girl.My joy has no bound.I was told i had PID (Pelvic inflammatory diseases)after a scan text t.My doctor recommended HSG,after that.HSG result showed very very clear that my two fallopian tubes

My Sour Experience At A Nigerian Hospital, Share Your Story

 Outside a hospital ward photo by: Nigerian curiosity
Reading the Eko hospital maternal death caused maybe by the Doctors' negligence and my experience when my daughter was taken to see the dentist, I have just concluded that these things cannot be happening in just these two hospitals and the appropriate authorities need to know while others read, learn and become more careful.
If you have an experience at any Nigerian hospital that left you feeling worse, disappointed, embarrassed and unhappy, please share. Great and plausible experiences too are welcome to the credit of those who are still diligent and competent.

I just paid for dental services rendered my daughter in March, this is about a month later.Not my fault, but not for the fact that I went back to a different department this time and suddenly remembered I hadn't paid for some dental services, when I got to the paypoint and told the lady that this payment is for old services rendered a month back, she didn't understand me but I paid anyway cos she clicked and my girls profile came up.I didn't bother taking the receipts to them for record keeping. Still in my bag.

My baby girl came home from school with a broken tooth, apparently, a very playful classmate had pushed her from behind, she fell, stood up and her piece of tooth was seen lying on the floor. The next day, we went to the dentist and a conversation ensued;
Me: good morning Doctor
Dentist: Good morning Madam, what can we do for you
Me: My daughter has a broken tooth
Doctor: What happened to her? ...Let's have a look.
After examination he explains that the only thing that can be done is refilling, he tells us to return when we are ready, then, I cut in with " we are ready now, what's the cost? she can't go home with a mouth looking like this, where can we go to pay?
He tells me to wait, while he commences work and I was pleasantly surprised because never have I received treatment in any Abuja hospital before payment. I stood there watching him and the nurses fix the filling. While he was rounding up and called me to see if I am satisfied with the job, a consultant walked in and instead of leaving immediately as expected perhaps, she just sits there asking questions and scolding defaulters.

Job done and no one is talking about payment. I walked a few steps and turned back to ask again where I can pay and I was told to sit down and wait. What? wait again? I then thought ok, maybe there's still some medications to be applied to her mouth or something. We sat down at their reception, waited while they start working on another patient. This lady consultant is still seated here scolding like there's no tomorrow. I waited for sometime, ahn! ahn! what is happening? let me have a note to go pay please.

I got

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