My Husband Has Low Sperm Count Yet Impregnates Another Girl

Good day aunty eya, I need serious advice asap. My hubby and I have been married for 5yrs now , nov 1st was our anniversary but I found nothing to rejoice about. We have done everything medically but the result came out that my hubby had low sperm count which we treated all to no avail which led us to doing IVF.

The last one we did was negative & they gave us drugs to prepare us for the next round that was when my hubby got another girl pregnant, when I got to know he said it was a mistake, so along the line to the glory of God I got pregnant & that was how
my hubby turned a monster by beating me at every slightest provocation even with my state and he hasn't stopped.

Though he will beg that it's the devil but I am tired I don't know what to do. I think we need a counselor because I have reported him to his mum several times and no sign of change. 

Please help me. Please hide my identity & I need an outsider like a lawyer to help me talk sense into him   because I am seriously considering divorce but I don't want to have his baby outside his home.  
I am scared they might bring the other girl because that is what my mother-in-law wants. What should I do please?

52 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:34 PM

    You need to get out of that house. The man who will beat you while pregnant will soon kill you. Instead of reporting him to his mother, pack to your own family who will care for you. Remember the life of your child is your priority and the only way to keep your child safe, so you don't lose the pregnancy, is to put yourself in a safe place. The devil that made him beat you, is that the same devil that made him sleep with a girl and get her pregnant? that man is lying to you and doesn't consider you at aaaallll. Please don't listen to anyone telling you to stay and put up with his beatings. Your life is more precious than that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes... According to "terry G"

      Sare.... Wa Sare! Lolz.
      Very funny, every solution here na pack and run!

      In the same song; he, Terry G admonished that, if you run too much you may run mad!

      In as much as the act is totally bad, despicable, retrogresive and myopic, women also need to check themselves also so as to prevent all the "Sare" advice!




      Nuff!

      Delete
  2. U better report him to ur family members n his own too n leave that house before he kills u n ur baby. A dead person cannot complain ooooo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous3:44 PM

    Do not allow yourself to be killed in that house oo, pregnancy is risky enough, a beating on top is a hmmm..protect yourself and your child biko, he has no respect for you or your unborn child. If he did he wouldn't be acting as insane. But in all take your request to the almighty and let him guide you..all the best dear.

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  4. Anonymous3:57 PM

    Its like when men want to send their wives packing now, dey start wit beating, so dat, wen she can't take anymore she will leave, den dey can bring in anoda woman. This DV is getting too common n seriously needs to be addressed

    ReplyDelete
  5. You disappointed him. He probably had already started making secret plans to marry that girl with the excuse that she is carrying his baby then out of no where you fall pregnant. Instead of rejoicing he is angry cos your pregnancy makes his excuse useless.

    Your God defended you and turned things around.
    If I talk now, they'll say Eya supports Domestic Violence when I DON'T. I don't know how to advise you right now o and pray other commenters will have what you truly need.

    Yes, I know that once a man hits you, he will hit again. I also know that men who beat their wives do not change. HOWEVER, in this my short period on planet earth, I have seen couples who fought physically breaking things in the sitting room, I have seen them forget that lifestyle for ever. How did it happen? The women tamed her razor blade.

    Dear poster, why I add this part is because almost everybody believes that leaving a violent man is the solution to Domestic Violence. What about men who go through Domestic Violence in their marriages?

    Before my family moved to Abuja, I have seen neighbours who fought every weekend. I have seen those beatings end completely the day the wife stopped flogging with her wicked tongue. Yes, I know that these men won't fight their bosses for using harsh words on them, I know That already o. Must we as wives continue from where their bosses and outsiders end?

    When we advise women to run away, without ever blaming the woman for anything (NOT THAT I SUPPORT DV, NO!!!), very soon, we may have more divorcees than couples in this country o. Yes women die in the process but that doesn't change the fact that many women going through Domestic Violence do have the power to change things but have not tried to discover that

    We are still a developing country, many women are not yet financially empowered to take care of themselves and three, four, five kids all alone. They still need help. Imagine leaving and withdrawing kids from school because you can't cope, or leaving and becoming a burden to aged parents who before now depended on you. It's not funny o, you lose all the respect they once had for you. I won't advise any women in a violent marriage to endure the beatings cos it can lead to death, neither will I ask you to quickly run away. Look inwards, your case may have a solution other than leaving.

    Nigeria is not yet that developed and I can tell you that even NGO's here may not be doing as good as those abroad. Yesterday, I read on a blog, women leaving comments on how they took their cases to these supposedly good NGO's campaigning against DV yet nothing has been done up till this moment.

    The solution to one woman's DV may be leaving, to another it may just be doing things differently to get a different result.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5:41 PM

      Inshort, u are saying she should stick in dat same house with him till he beat the pregnancy off. Her belle shey?.

      Dear Poster, is there no one in your family that this man respect? He married you officially or Didn't he? My own is, don't let this man beat u till u loose your pregnancy o... Be wise like a snake and gentle like a dove... if u still have parents,move in with them and let his parent and yours have serious discussion abi d man wan kill you ni...this life gan sef..hian

      Delete
    2. NA wah o! Beat beat is too much on this our WC blog. I thot 80% of marriages r like mine, wonderful n loving, with minor problem. God thank u for my husband, lemme multiply my love for him more. With things I'm reading on this blog all d time. Men what is happening to most of u. Its so sad. I'm tired of giving advice sef. WC abegi over to u pple. My sister make I pray 4 u.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous8:58 PM

      There are a hundred and fifty million people in Nigeria. Get that?

      Delete
    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    5. @MAKZ, you can start with a
      blow-job!

      And I hope and pray you
      don't bite off his tin anyway...

      Delete
    6. Anonymous10:16 PM

      Eya..pls consider the fact that she is pregnant. If she not leave for herself at least fir the baby. Would you want to see a mail in your box saying. ." I lost my baby due to beating? . Madam abeg consider the innocent baby before you advise.

      Delete
    7. @ Eyaa, for the first time, a woman is saying exactly what I've been saying all along. Not all DVs by men are done by wicked and senseless men. Some are driven into it. If some women can look inward and curb their tongues, I can bet that DV in marriages will reduce significantly. Definitely, there are some men who indirectly derive pleasure from causing pain. For those sort, the safest and best bet is to flee. But if you have been "blessed" with the gift of the tongue, please learn how to exercise that gift when with your husband. Thanks Eyaa for this comment and let the beautiful women who have ears hear.

      Delete
  6. Anonymous4:35 PM

    The man is just being defensive of his 'randing' life by beating you so that you will not have mouth to talk. On top of the fact that he was responsible for your 5 year childlessness, he has the audacity to beat you in pregnancy! This man does not love you anymore! he thought you will not be pregnant and wanted to push you out by the time the mistress put to birth but God decided to give him a shocker hence his bitterness. If I were you, I will report him to his Pastor and if nothing changes, please my dear, atleast you have somebody to care for and keep you busy, just pack and leave. i hope you have something doing (financial). The joy of motherhood will make you forget he existed!

    ReplyDelete
  7. MissDee4:52 PM

    @Deborah Bala, I saw your good news comment but couldn't comment on that post.
    Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy!!!
    May God bless and keep you and baby.
    Congratz!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous4:58 PM

    Poster. Pls 4 Gods sake dnt leave ur matrimonial hum 4 one idoit, if u leave he wil marry dat girl asap. Just report to pple he respect. Tel d pastors. Get a lawyer. But dnt 4get To trust God and pray. Pray ur heart out.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous5:08 PM

    My dear don't sleep on a bicycle o! Run to any mountain of fire and scatter dat mistress a.k.a strange woman, I thought mistresses are just after money, why getting pregnant again? Even if u wanna leave d man, make sure u scatter them with prayers, afterall u are d woman he married.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5:32 PM

      Anon 5:08, God bless u jare, pls others telling her to leave, what wld b her gain?
      My dear poster, am really sorry abt ur situation but if u ve razor mouth I beg u make it blunt, if not for anything for ur preg state. N If truly its d devil, its only prayers o, prayer is d key,d one way good na prayers, won way e no good na prayers tooo my dear. Na d market make u face not d market noise o...U need to make urself happy and b very prayerful...please...
      It is well with u dear poster.

      Delete
  10. Anonymous5:58 PM

    My uncle and his first wife fought a lot, he beat her like on a weekly basis even after 3 kids. She later tan away and after s few years he met another lady and got married again.
    It's been 12 years with no single fight or Domestic violence in that family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6:00 PM

      Sorry about my typos.

      Delete
    2. wornuholar6:19 PM

      Hmmm....Men. *Speechless*

      Delete
    3. The same man with two different marriages! What changed in the two? Is it the man that changed of the or the attitude of the two women that was different? This is a clear example of what I've been saying. We always say that behind any successful man is a good woman. I dare to say that behind most physically violent men are verbally violent women.

      Delete
  11. Quick question: could you also post some positive stories on this blog? I'm not saying you should not write about these domestic violence cases; on the contrary. It just would be nice for readers to also see that there are loving, healthy relationships

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9:03 PM

      you guys are the ones sending only these stories to her. You want Naija women to start forming stories of how hubby bought them private jets no? I like it realllll

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10:21 PM

      Babe..it is good for these women to come here. That way people will learn from. A lot of women are going through domestic violence in their homes. These women have no one to talk to that is why they come here. It is the person that is sick that needs a doctor not the I ne that is healthy. Or better still you can start by telling us how wonderful your husband is.

      Delete
    3. Maria5:45 AM

      AnonymousNovember 23, 2013 at 10:21 PM
      You even get time to reply that yeye comment, we are waiting for your story on how wonderful your NAIJA husband is.

      Delete
  12. SINGLE HAPPIEST MUM.8:29 PM

    Why would you stay with a man that beats you even when pregnant? Is it by force to be with a MAN? Na wa oo. There is no excuse for what he is doing to you.He even got someone else pregnant and you are there.some people are saying that you shldnt leave if not he will bring in another woman. DO YOU CARE?? Let him bring in 20 women if he likes.How is that your business? Just leave the BASTARD. How will the child be born in a home where there is no peace? How would your child feel if yoou inform him/her that while he or she wast still in your womb,he/she was being beaten. Madam! Are you a learner??? This is not even about death,don't you want to have a peaceful pregnancy? Leave him.your husband is USELESS he even has unprotected sex with another girl and you are still there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:46 AM

      I agree one thing I know is that when you are pregnant whatever emotion you are feeling the baby is feeling also so if you are happy baby is happy if you are miserable and sad so is baby stop being selfish and think of your unborn baby's wellbeing

      Delete
  13. Anonymous8:37 PM

    Thx to u all for all ur comments, those dt want me to leave d marriage I understand wat u feel for me esp aunty Eyas response I will adjust & see if things change. Btw we'r muslims so I can't report to a pastor bur I av reported to my family, they warned him & he promised dt it won't happen again. I thank u all for ur advices. POSTER

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous11:29 PM

      My dear your priority now is your health and safety and that of your unborn baby. Has it occurred to you that he may be beating you so that you may loose the pregnancy so that he can bring in the other girl? no one is telling you to divorce him we are saying that for you to even carry this pregnancy to full term and have a safe delivery you need to leave the abusive environment. Leave adjusting matter for after the baby comes stay there and there might not even be a baby to talk about and either way he will have achieved his goal of sending you away and bringing in the other girl I wouldn't be surprised if it is his mom that advised him to start beating you coz you say she wants the other girl shine your eyes oh!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous11:32 PM

      and why is he being a coward since you are both muslim he is allowed upto four wives i wondeer why he is misbehaving when he knows he can marry upto four wives if you are on board and okay with it suggest marrying the other girl as well and see if that will help not that I am for polygamous marriages but your religion permits it and it seems like he wants this girl in his life too

      Delete
  14. Anonymous12:21 AM

    My aunt who has been married for over 10 yrs and had 6 miscarriages, was finaly able to have triplets tru d help of IVF. Her husband who supported her tru out,d whole trials, and process of IVF and d birth of their children, started beating her Oo°˚˚˚°! SerIous beating and started womanizing openly. it got so bad she had to leave d house wiv her children. Luckily she is made, and got her self her own apartment.
    We her family believe that what happend is more spiritual than physical. Becus how can a man who loved u tru out ur childlessness, suddenly turn into a monster now that God has blessed ur marriage wiv children.
    We wives should always be prayerful becus d devil is working over time to destroy marriages. And he is doing it tru DV. And wives pls be wise!!!.if d beating gets too much RUN
    Nuff said!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:24 PM

      You are right! !

      Delete
  15. MRS IJ1:44 AM

    I don'tsupport Dv,neither the Div also,its gud u let ur family know abt it.whateva ur family says its what u will do,accompanied by voracious prayers........RCCG or MFM r well known for dat.Restore ur home ,also check ur self,ur tongue let it b tamed,but hot with fire of prayers my sister.Mean while allow ur man some space,while u use dat tym to seek GOD of SHILOH.GOD bless n direct u.ur mother in law shdnt b left out of dat prayers cos sum of dem r destroyers of peaceful marriages.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:45 AM

      Didn't you read she just said she was a muslim how does RCCG take concern am? And please stop shifting blame to her sharp tounge et al no one asks to be beaten up and no decent human being would raise their hands at someone else because of a sharp tongue. Sick and tired of people telling victims of DV to "check themselves" the people you should be asking to check themselves are those useless husbands who raise their arms on helpless women. And Eya since you claim to know people who fought and broke things but are now living peacefully please interview one of them so the man can tell us what lead to him beating his wife. Ladies please have your own money if you ever need to leave and start on your own stop depending on your husbands 100% for everything that time is gone. One thing I know is you can never force a man to love once the love is gone it is gone men are not like us women who can learn to love over and over again there are so many women in Nigeria who are married yet very much single as in married only in name then they only realise they should have left and found their own happiness much later in life when in their fifties meanwhile the husband has been enjoying his happiness with his mistress since he was in his thirties.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous11:49 AM

      Na wa for you o.

      Delete
  16. Anonymous9:05 AM

    single mum dnt gv d poster wrong advice!

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  17. Anonymous12:32 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  19. Anonymous3:41 PM

    in ds particular case, I don't tink divorce is very necessary, have tot about d fact dat som1 has gone diabolical jst to separate u n ur hubby, dts d rsn 4 his sudden hatred 4 u, since u didn't tell us if he has bn beating u like dat b4, u wl need serious prayers,(pls don't go diabolical o, so dat he won't run mad) I don't know hw they do it in ur religion bt pray. And take to Eya's advice, since sh believes every DV victim is caused by their razor mouth

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous9:33 PM

    Anonymous 3:41pm, I totally agree with you it is possible that the other woman is pissed off that you have finally been able to give him a child and now she is using diabolical means to get you out of the house you need to pray agressively

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous9:42 AM

    pls do not leave the house- the true test of an african woman is how well she can take a beating and still remain humble. never whimper when he hits, just grit ur teeth and stay still but not too still so he doesn't feel like he is not beating you well. remember if you leave the house, you will doom the next woman to the beatings too. humility and silence is all you need. he might not stop. but its better than letting another woman get beaten. jazakallah...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mz Tee6:00 PM

    Some of dz leave leave advice, hope it's not d other woman advising oh so she can enter and balance well. Hmmmmm. I tire!! Fight for ur marriage, and if there's nothing left to fight for, then I can't help.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous9:58 PM

    I think I agree with The moderator. .
    There are three versions to a story... That of the man, the woman and "The Story"
    We have just heard that of the woman. Those who quickly advice "pack and leave" most times go through worse things in their marriages and are still there.
    Let the woman check.. Does she have a flippant tongue? That alone could turn a very loving Man into a monster over time. It's foolishness for any woman to take pride in arrogance or use of a flippant tongue because they end up suffering.when they start suffering they'll run to this blog to be advised "pack and run".
    The solution to this issue Lies in the hands of the couple. woman, treat the pregnancy of the foreign lady as a non-issue, sit your Man down, talk things over with him, no nagging whatsoever. Make him realise that God who ordained your marriage will see you through.no foreigner has a place. Those advising you to move into your extended family's house. . What if this is a test. Both you and the intruder loose the pregnancy(God Forbid). By then you have left (consider you have left for good because he ain't gonna come begging you to come back).. You have lost your home to some other lady. Be wise and ask God for guidance

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous10:10 PM

    Eya spoke my mind for the first time oh!
    Dear poster, love God, respect ur man, and apologize for every little mistake b4 it lead to fight.. Play the fool for now, for your baby's sake!
    As for the other lady, ignore her, and dnt taunt ur hubby with her issue.. Act like she doesn't exist.. You can do it... Let love return back to ur home again... Send me an email, so I can give u tips on how to win him back.. patsypretty@yahoo.com
    Pls ignore those mountain of fire prayer of scattering ur enemies, pray a prayer of love...
    Trust me, those mountain of fire pple, have greater problems than you, their enemies never seem to die, I wonder how many they are...
    Love ur enemies, and pray for them, do good to those who hate you!
    Why didn't Jesus call down fire from heaven to destroy His killers, yet He choose to forgive them...
    Jesus gave a standard of love, pls let's walk in His stead!

    Patsy..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:31 PM

      Patsy, you have started again abi?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous11:03 PM

      Woman. ... consider this learning point...
      Who's report do you believe.. God's word or the doctor's report. Who labelled your Man as having low sperm count?
      Don't you know that God who gave you a husband is faithful enough to give you your children. Such reports shouldn't even be condoned in your home.
      If you welcomed that verdict then that's part of your problem because you may have inadvertently rubbed it in his face sometime along the line and he decided to experiment. I don't subscribe to domestic violence of any sort but check yourself... You may just be the architect of your misfortune

      Delete
    3. Anonymous8:29 AM

      @ patsy, how about sending in the tips for everyone's consumption. I'm pretty sure we all will benefit from them.

      Delete
  25. Anonymous12:11 PM

    Let the love return to your home abi? The man no dey read tips ni? Is it always just the woman? There is 'NO HOME' any man that beats his pregnant wife dosnt need love. Leave him,or he kills the baby,shikena.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous10:26 AM

    Im really baffled by the comments im seeing here..the poor woman is pregnant and u plp want her to stay with the beating? A violent man is always violent. ..pls let us stop blaming women for all the wrongs in her marriage. .pls poster for your wellbeing and her safety of your unborn child keep safe. .

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous11:00 AM

    Aunty Eya I dont really like your advice, a man impregnating a girl outside and beating up his wife carrying his child should tell you of his character, you are indirectly telling me that it is ok for a man to treat his wife's mess up with violence. Domestic violence is high in nigeria because there is no law or repercussion against it..and we encourage it by giving excuses for the man..a wife should control her tongue. .so should the husband his temper.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous11:01 AM

    Aunty Eya I dont really like your advice, a man impregnating a girl outside and beating up his wife carrying his child should tell you of his character, you are indirectly telling me that it is ok for a man to treat his wife's mess up with violence. Domestic violence is high in nigeria because there is no law or repercussion against it..and we encourage it by giving excuses for the man..a wife should control her tongue. .so should the husband his temper.

    ReplyDelete

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