Hubby Has Asked Me To Abort This Pregnancy, He Wants A Male Child

 Good morning  plus WC, my story is long but I pray your readers will really understand me. Please edit this part don't want my name to show I beg you.

 Am in my late twenties married with two daughters and expecting one soon,but am tired of this life, from a poor home, am the only graduate and my hubby refused that I should work, maybe afraid of controlling me according to him, even any little business, anytime I raise the issue he'll say I should go to my father's house and work, 


 I noticed he uses his money to threaten me in the sense that any little misunderstanding , if i beg for even 1k he won't give me, so he sees himself as a God.
 He earns a good and reasonable salary but I cry cos I lack many things, can't even send money to my parents that managed to train me
. I studied mass communication but he warned me
to stay off social media, but he is on Facebook, etc.

I don't visit friends, he doesn't want anyone to visit me so people want advise me, he doesn't take me to occasions,  at times when am over frustrated, i won't lie, I throw up a fight cos am not the talking type but my hubby can argue from morning to night, nags a lot, and I just can't get him off my mind cos am thinking of running away, but to where with my kids? 

Am heavy now he was like I should abort it cos he wants a male child, that am seriously praying for God to console me with.
 He spends a lot of money outside, so much  that when I complain  to people close to him they don't believe me. 

Gives me house upkeep of 80k dats for  everything we need, except for fuel, and he wants to eat the best meal, d best soap, sure, etc, then mine, the kids  I can manage, things are expensive, I suffered growing up, and never knew I would meet things this way.  Am a housewife, I think too much, I wash, iron his clothes make sure all his things are handy or he screams the house down. 
  Am fast losing it, can't discuss anything with my hubby, we are only friends in bed, you know what I mean, if I don't, that means his body will be peppering him.

 My mates are moving forward, he keeps his girls out even the ones I know, I don't have any right to voice my pains cos  that means am disrespecting him or his culture is against it, a woman must not tell him what to do. Am tired of praying, I grow lean but the cover up that am watching my weight, let me stop here...
 Please am confused I can't have a single month filled with happiness, my in-laws are aware, my people, both families give same advice "it will be better"...

81 comments:

MAKZ said...

The mistake lots of women make is at d early stage of their marriage or during courtship. A man will be dating u n be laying down all his laws, u will be mumulishly accepting it, so he will marry u. The one u don't like u say so immediately n refuse to do it. Because u r a new wife, d man will started stating his rules n regulations, u will just be accepting it cos u were told that d man is d head. When I married newly which was 9yrs ago, as oga is laying down his rules, I was countering d once I no fit do or follow. Likewise I was gently chipping in my dos n don'ts too. If u want ur clothes clean n ironed no problem honey, just bring money for dry cleaning. As long as its not undies n simple home cloths I can't do it. U don't eat food inside fridge u want it fresh all d time, u gently say no, then mqke him understand d difficulty of making new soup daily.
All this things r possible, at d early stage of ur marriage. U can't be doing all he stated u shld be doing, yrs later u start rebelling, d man will conclude u r getting advice from pple outside.
How can u say I shld not have friends, no social network, u agreed wit it initially n see it now.
So for d new wives n wives to be, d first 6 months is d key to a sucessful marriage. Ur husband might be ur oga at d top, but u can cunningly manipulate him, without him knowing.

My sister, as 4 d abortion tell him a big NO! Girl no be pickin.

Anonymous said...

My dear jst calm down, out of d 80k his giving u pls be saving like 20 per month.u can do it bcos for me u are a slave in ur husby house. He known u dnt hve anybody expect him

Anonymous said...

Pls dnt abort d baby but u need 2 prepare ur heart 4 war incase if he brings it. Pls stand ur ground or get out of dat slavering yard dat u can marriage. how many yrs we u do dis? Ask ur self no happeness expect sex.

Flo said...

Aunty Eya I honestly think it's time to form a Wives Townhall Connection NGO. In a case like this, we will send about 3 women to go and have a heart-to-heart talk with a husband such as the one our sister described here and find out how he can be happy treating his wife, his own wife this way. Even if it takes kneeling down for him to beg him to love our sister, we will do it. You know some men listen to outsiders more than their own families.

I say this because in all the cases that I read here, our sisters do not want to leave, they want to stay and make their marriages work. Who wants to leave? Don't we all have this dream of a blissful marriage?

Dear poster, your case is a really sad one. The only word I have for you is to tell you sorry my dear. I don't know what to say because I don't know where to start. I don't understand how a man will take his money, go and marry a girl that he is supposed to live with for the rest of his life and start a long journey of bitterness, unhappiness and mistreatments.

I know some men are brought up with a mindset that this is how a marriage should be. It does not help that they surround themselves with friends who have the same beliefs. All they need is someone that will gently change their mindset so they can see that there's a happy side to this union. And this can only come from a neutral person/group.

Anonymous said...

Aunty Flo abeg which WC Townhall NGO this one that will be holding prayer meetings and buying antiseptic and band aid for victims of DV to soothe their wounds instead of getting them help to a safer place until the issue with the husband is resolved so they can move back home and back into their marriages if they so wish abeg leave that NGO matter oh! I agree with MAKZ who said that whatever you can and will not tolerate you have to say at the beginning otherwise there is no point complaining later. I think most people during courtship or just before the wedding agree to all sorts of nonsense in the fear that if they say no the marriage will not hold same thing with MIL you have to lay down the law with her from the word go am not saying sit her down oh no show her with your actions what you can and cannot tolerate otherwise you only have yourself to blame later when she and her son are acting up. Poster you are simply a slave in your husband's house that is the only way I can put it does anyone else from either family know about the abortion issue? If not I suggest you tell them maybe they can put him in his right senses. Slaves even from history have been known to rebel and turn over their masters it is up to you decide whether you want to rebel and turn things around or remain a slave forever. You have said you grow lean but cover it up that you are watching your weight that right there is one of your problems why are you covering for him? That is how you are enabling him to continue treating you the way he does good thing you have spoken out here that is the first step next step tell all your family both sides what you have been going through this man needs to be shamed into seeing sense. He keeps girls outside whom you know about and he still managed to impregnate you be careful my sister AIDS is very real be very careful I hope you have been tested so you can start taking care of yourself accordingly no matter the results. I don't know what else to tell you but this matter is beyond you and him other people need to be involved and start saving whatever you can from that 80k. I think what Nigeria needs is women's empowerment because it seems a lot of women in such situations know at the back of their mind what they want to do but do not know how to start that is the problem right there.

Brandy said...

From that 80k, although it's small, try to convince yourself that it's 70k and save 10k. Don't abort your baby, girls are a blessing too. Even Eya sef has four girls and is proud of them. Does he go to any church? If yes, report him to his pastor.

Flo said...

My dear these family problems seem to be the same plot all the time so what will I say? Was kind of thinking outside the box because all that needs to be said has been said in other posts related to this one. Find them a safe place? For most men, once you leave there's no coming back and in all these stories, you will clearly see that the women involved do not want to leave.

I agree that most ladies condone all sorts early in marriage just so that the marriage will go ahead. Even if the Poster did such, the deed has been done and right now, we are looking for a solution to the problem at hand.

As for shaming the man, unless the wife wants to leave the marriage for good, my dear that will be like pouring fuel into the inferno. I agree that women should not continue to hide the actions of such men but they should just talk to close friends or family members not try and "shame" the man because it will backfire.

It is clear that the Poster is already empowered, she has her degree and she is articulate. By reading her post alone, I see her as as someone with great potential but with the husband subduing her, what is the solution to that one?

In our culture, it is much easier to talk a man who mistreats his wife into saying bye to such bad habits than it is to make a woman understand that her life is in danger, that she should leave a marriage.

mrs S said...

Very well said!

Anonymous said...

NGO indeed!so that some married and unmarried women will further destroy homes shey?a lot of married women sleep with people's husbands so NO please!

Anonymous said...

Some of the most successful marriages today endured some sort of separation at one point #thatisall

Flo said...

@Anon 12:16 you mean they will try and snatch the man while trying to settle the matter? :D :D I trust Aunty Eya to assemble the right women for the job. There are still women who cherish their husbands so much that they don't give other men a second look and there are single ladies who know how to keep away from other people's husbands. :)))

ivy brown said...

2moro he would be d one nodding his head and saying dats my daughter forgettin dat he opened his mouth 2 say abort. Mtchew. D calousness of men. Anytym I read stories on WC, na wonder I just dey wonder oº° . Bcos somtins jst seem so unblivable. Afta all d touchin weddin preps, couple pics, all smiles, romantic getaways, my wife is my all stories, wen d woman finally enta ur house, they 4get hw dey wher sweatin n tinkin of hw 2 pop d question n strt treatin ha lyk trash. Afta sufferin 2 graduate, one mofo would say dnt wrk! Som women wld kukuma resign n seat @ home all 4 marriage. Hu knws 2mor? The virtous woman in psalm 31 sef ws a workaholic. She had a business aside takin care of ha Oga. Women r so scared of losing der husbands.... If only d men ar scared of losing der wives. Pls every woman is an asset. We hv 2 strt actin as such.
In order news, I took a leap of faith n orderd stuf on aliexpress and It totally paid out oº° #dancing. I rcivd my stuff in jst 2weeks thanks 2 d encouragement of Bee. So poster u too can strt a business wit chinkili moni......... God prosper us all.

Lady Eva said...

Flo, u are right jare. A WC NGO it is! The man needs some talking to. Perhaps our own Bona will even help us on that one to make the man knw say not all men have this 19th century mindset. My sister the poster, it shall be well. You sound like a good woman. Dnt worry. This too shall pass. And dnt think of hurting that innocent baby o.

Anonymous said...

@poster pls save @ least 10-20k every month. It's not easy, but just try my dear. If d man complains, tell him prices of things have increased. As for the baby don't abort it.

odanibe said...

Dis kind man no go get pastor oh!

Anonymous said...

Women r programmed to think that the ultimate thing in life is marriage forgetting that dey also hv d right to be happy. U do everything to please your husband , even b a zombie to answer to his every command, life isn't meant to be like that... From d honeymoon phase, d sweeting part, don't agree on everything, what u don't like u say, if not if u start be ready to finish it cos d day u refuse, den it will b like u r growing wings. Our men like to be in control... I'm currently seperated frm my hubby, n he's saying things will change nw wen I return, I ws depressed... Sometimes seperation works too. Ur case is far gone tho, pray, save up, start something. if u feel u r loosing it seperate, I think ur hapiness still matters. Hv your baby, den see wt happens, it may jst melt his heart.. Hv a back up plan, always. Men, can't trust dem...

Anonymous said...

I agree wth what MAKZ said but some men do what i dot know what i wil call it if dey know dat d family is poor dey wil maltreat d woman knowing dat she cant go back 2 her family n her family cant take care of her or d children so dey present themselves as alpha n omega to d wife. Then prevent d woman 4rm working wth d mindset dat he cant control her when she starts getting her money n also he has 2 know what she gives to her family. #isaidmymind#

Anonymous said...

I agree wth what MAKZ said but some men do what i dot know what i wil call it if dey know dat d family is poor dey wil maltreat d woman knowing dat she cant go back 2 her family n her family cant take care of her or d children so dey present themselves as alpha n omega to d wife. Then prevent d woman 4rm working wth d mindset dat he cant control her when she starts getting her money n also he has 2 know what she gives to her family. #isaidmymind#

Anonymous said...

I agree wth what MAKZ said but some men do what i dot know what i wil call it if dey know dat d family is poor dey wil maltreat d woman knowing dat she cant go back 2 her family n her family cant take care of her or d children so dey present themselves as alpha n omega to d wife. Then prevent d woman 4rm working wth d mindset dat he cant control her when she starts getting her money n also he has 2 know what she gives to her family. #isaidmymind#

Anonymous said...

Tnx all, am d poster, Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ been expectin to hear what ur advice will be, yes I told one of D̶̲̥̅̊ aunty about D̶̲̥̅̊ abortion thing, she pleaded ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ told him is bad, thou I Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ not gone for scan to know D̶̲̥̅̊ gender. I don't mind walking away but H̶̲̥̅̊♡̷̴̬̩̃̊w̶̲̥̅̊ to cope with my kids till I get a good job, dis morning I went to beg for money to fix my hair, what he wil tell me was dat I reported D̶̲̥̅̊. Issue of abortion to D̶̲̥̅̊ aunty †̥ђɑ̤̥̈̊†̥ Iτ̲̅ was suppose to be between us. So I just left with D̶̲̥̅̊ little money on my hand I fixed my weavon. My plan is to strt a little biz without his knowlegde, even if he knws I wil tell him my reason.
To those †̥ђɑ̤̥̈̊†̥ think he is been like this wen we where dating, I bet you dat he even made me to love him, because I was scared of marriage but he was so nice, goes to church then but now he is too busy for church rather tells me †̥ђɑ̤̥̈̊†̥ he is a traditionalist, this all came up after d first child, then second ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ things became worst, for this pregnancy, I was on pills just stoped a month cos Iτ̲̅ was giving me ance ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ pimple ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ before you know I took I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ . I even cried. So that's Iτ̲̅ . Tnx again, Eya I appreciate ur readers.

Anonymous said...

I feel ur pain... Work is a step in the right direction.. Plan, pray

Anonymous said...

I do not understand what is going on it seems most men do not realise that whatever you do to your wife you are doing to yourself. Madam poster I would not advice you report him to human being but to God because God is the overall head of your household. What your husband is asking you to do is considered as murder biblically and I am sure you do not want to sin against God. A lot of men find it difficult to respect a woman that doesn't work which is a sad fact and a worse fact is that some of them use money as a form of control. If you need to borrow money pls do an start a business

Anonymous said...

I agree with you separation gives both parties time to reflect and think away from each other and the situation I see it like a mini break that we all need every now and then to keep our sanity. Children have holiday from school same with university students, you are allowed an annual leave from your job I believe couples going through a stressful time also deserve a break from each other and please do not use this time to sleep around oh it is a temporary break not a passport to infidelity.

Anonymous said...

@ Brandy u js spoke my mind u can stil be saving 10k out of d 80k, u ar 4rm a humble bak ground so u shuld kno hw to economise, by d end of 1yr u wil hav @least 120k in ur a/c, dat is smting 2 start wit, buy ur foods stuffs in bulk and most of wil b able to last u like 2month (especially bag of rice) n u can use d money 4 other things, men like dat are very dangerous, they wil be nice and liberal outside bt stingy at home, and pple wil not help u cos they wil assume u ar swimming in money, and pls don't abort.

Anonymous said...

Madam u no try oh, pls start saving 10k as soon as he gives u d next allowance, wtout him knowing) u ought to know hw to manage things considering ur bakground, if he ask u tel him price of things hv gone higher, pls in God's name. did he ask u to abort cos he didn't want more kids or bcos ur kids ar girls? am confused. Bt which eva way DO NOT ABORT

Anonymous said...

No please o, some will come in the name of settling the matter but later become the secret lovers. The advice I got here brought a change to my own marriage and that was all I hear. These days that even some MOG cannot be trusted.
Unless if Eya herself will meet with the husbands and do the settlement ish.

Anonymous said...

@Ivy, thanks for the info. Now I can try cos the priced I saw there are just too good.
Any tips for a newbie?

Anonymous said...

So true!!!

Amaka said...

@ivy pls d aliexpress, is d delivery door delivery?

Amaka Hundeyin said...

What is painful is that its these men that need to donate the Y chromosome needed for a male child! In the 21st century, people still discriminate between boys and girls? Do not abort please! You need to start something before you loose it biko

Anonymous said...

dear poster am almost in d same shoe with u i.e stingy hubby,not letting me work or do business not giving me enough mone4my upkeep .though my marriage is just 10mnths old and no children yet. he often sings with ' u can't even get pregnant and u are talking of work nd business' I swear dis man wants to frustrate me but I won't let him. just hold on to prayers dear poster nd pls do not go abortion n believe in God. pls dear aunty Eya and WC members help me with trying to conceive advive am tired of visiting doctors . one will tel me is Hormonal imbalance another will tell me am perfectly okay a certain doctor has even told me is a spiritual attack that am perfectly OK for pregnancy pls I don't know who to believe or what do . my in laws are already giving me lack of peace cos of my unable to get pregnant since my wedding of 10months pls help me. this is really disturbing my marriage and am helpless.

Anonymous said...

Filling the form is giving me headache.

Anonymous said...

Your marriage is less than one year so relax and it will come. It's not yet time to even start visiting Doctors and YES your husband has a RAZORBLADE TONGUE.

Anonymous said...

At anon, yes he said I should abort cos he want us to follow D̶̲̥̅̊ ovulation stuff ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ make sure is a boy, so now accordin to him, he is not sure ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ he wldnt be happi if is not a boy, sotherefore, I should abort, yes am tryin to save just dat at times I get some calls home to assist my people, dats why I said am thinkin of startin up a little biz, †̥ђɑ̤̥̈̊†̥ he wldnt knw. Like clothes or casual jewlleries not D̶̲̥̅̊ expensive type.

Anonymous said...

Let me tell you all a little story;
There was a woman whose parents and siblings died a year after she got married to this man who had made it in life he was very rich and because her entire family was wiped out he and their children were her everything. The beatings started a few years into her marriage and society said e go better and anyway her children were still young and needed their father so she endured. She endured the beatings for many years any small thing set him off. On the contrary because he was wealthy and entertained his business associates at home he was very generous with feeding and upkeep allowance for her and the household because his wife had to look presentable at all times and present the image of a perfect wife to his associates. The straw that broke the camel's back was when her then 13 year old son held a knife to his father when he couldn't bear to see his mother beaten like that she had two kids boy and girl. The poor boy for his actions ended up in the hospital his father told the doctors he had fallen down the staircase and broke his arm. The woman said enough was enough it was one thing for her to be beaten like that but her children were not to be harmed by this brute. That was when she began planning her exit strategy she was not allowed to work, own a business or even her own personal account by said husband but thankfully the monies he gave her as allowance came in handy so she started saving and saving and almost a year later she had enough to pay rent for a little place of her own.

Anonymous said...

Story continued:
One Sunday morning during the school holidays while hubby was away for business in jand she made her move it was now or never. She had 3 live in workers a maid who had Sunday's off, a gateman and a driver. The maid left early Sunday morning as usual, she then called her driver and sent him with some foodstuffs to take to her husbands parents who lived four hours drive away she even told him that if it was too late to come back it was okay he could come back the next day she even called her in laws in his presence and told them the arrangement. As soon as he left she waited one hour and then sent the gateman on an errand that would take him at least two hours to return she left the goodbye note she had written for husband on his side of the bed where he was sure to find it on his return. Then she slowly drove out of her compound in the only car that was miraculously registered in her name on the few occasions when things were good - a fully stocked jeep she had done the packing the previous night and loaded the car in the garage away from prying eyes not even her two kids knew what mumsy was up to until they left the compound. Other than hers and the children's clothes she also stocked the boot with a mattress, beddings, toiletries, towels,kitchen utensils and long lasting food stuff from her kitchen she knew her money would not last very long so any little she could take she did. She took her entire jewellery collection which consisted of gold and diamond stuff remember she had to always look presentable for hubby's associates. She drove through the day and almost into the night until she reached her destination a town that she had lived in up to the age of ten before they moved so it was a new but familiar place for her and no one knew the adult her and her family here. They stayed in a cheap hotel for the first few days as she sought accommodation, she managed to secure a self contained room for her and the kids and they moved in which was god sent because she had only budgeted to live in a hotel for two weeks at the most. Once settled in she went to several of the boutiques in town and sold half her jewellery collection and some of her lace, shoes and designer bags. The other half she saved for a rainy day. With the small money she collected she started a small business of supplying shops with pre packed fried snacks (buns, puff puff, groundnut and the rest) which she cooked at home using her newly acquired kerosene stove. She told anybody who asked that her husband had abandoned her and the children and left the country with another woman which was true to some extent because he had plenty side chicks who he took on his overseas trips. The kids were enrolled in local schools. Her aim was to stay away until her children were of age (18 and above) so that they could not be taken away from her before revealing her location. This small snacks business grew and expanded and she was able to offer a better life for her children and opened other business as well. God does not sleep her children being very bright in school were able to get scholarships from church and other organisations up to university level the boy ended up in the UK in his second year of university thanks to an international scholarship. Today almost fifteen years later since she left the boy is an oil and gas executive managed to build his mother a house and uplift her life to better standards than she had when she was married. The daughter was not left behind she secured a good job in the banking industry after university.

Anonymous said...

Story continued:
As for the husband after a few months of pretending to look for his wife remarried and continued where he had left off with new wife including the beatings. This woman an orphan with no family other than her children left because she had the will power to do so. I forgot to mention that the boy was so traumatised by the beating he received that to this day he has refused to see or acknowledge his father. Mumsy is now comfortable looking after her many businesses flying round the world with her children for vacations and her only regret in her own words was that she wished she would have left earlier. THE END.

Anonymous said...

You can try shopping with Aliexpress cos they are very cheap then sell and make profit.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this story, if it's your story then all I can say to you is congratulations for being wise and brave.

MAKZ said...

Haba! 10 months hubby is already giving u headache n u r already panicking. Relax my dear, if u r sooo anxious d body knows n to conceive will be difficult. U r suppose to be on ur honeymoon stage, enjoying ursef now. I and hubby deliberately planned not to take in that 1st year of marriage. We were painting d town red, happily showing each other off. Relax joor, if u r doing d act, n all u r thinking of this is d night it will enter, one no fun, secondly anxiety n d rest. Tell oga to take it easy.

¤Rubynnia¤ said...

Hmmm, what an inspiring story. I want to believe you are the daughter of the woman in the story.

MAKZ, you'll said it all. What you can't tolerate in marriage, DON'T tolerate it during courtship.

If you get craze, show it! Don't let people tell you a woman must be humble, shouldn't disagree too much bla bla bla. A man that will like your craze with locate you!

By nature, I'm a no nonsense person and I tell any guy I meet my mind when he does annoying things. One day, momsy was telling me to take it cool and not be harsh and I told her I can't allow a man frustrate me with his attitude because I get irritated at things at times.

I told her this is me; this is the way I've been wired. I can't keep quiet to things that outrightly pissing off all because I want a guy to see me as a wife material.

A guy that likes me likes me for ME!!!

ivy brown said...

Yes. The aliexpress was free delivery 2 my doorstep.

Chioma said...

Hi Ivy, I just put some items in my wishlist that I want to buy, what do I do next cos I can't find where to pay for them. What's the next step I'm supposed to take pls?

ivy brown said...

I just followed d steps given on dat particular post. D important tins is 2 go 2 d nipost website and get d code for ur particular street. Some streets dnt have code oº° like my house, our estate dint show up (I wldnt hv evn used it cos d place is confusing to trace) so I just used d address of my cousin dat stays in old township ph, n informed dem so weneva d parcel arrives, dey keep it 4 me. So if ur address no dey map, u hv 2 get som1 2 do same 4 u. Its rily simple. But u also hav to make sure d store u wanna buy for are not scam artists too. That I dis by orderin little cheap tins first. I also avoided stores dt are jack of all trade. Som stores seem to be selling everything. I dint use them bcos we r supposed to b buyin frm d factories directly and I can't fathom hw they wld b manufacturing everything. So if its wrist watches, its safer to stick to a store dats solely watches and if its jewelry d same. Anyways sha we nigerians r nt ezzy to scam. Ciao

Blossom said...

God bless you for sharing this story. If only you knew how much you've encouraged me. I wish I could be as brave as the heroine in the story.

Anonymous said...

Men just think. They are doing a woman favour by marrying her. Women wuld leave her family,change her surname. Get preg, tk kia of d children.support, etc. Yet sum are ungratefl. God u dey c o

Anonymous said...

when they suppose to be 4eva gratefl. Useles bastards(sum men) i blame them mtcheww

Anonymous said...

Inspiring story, at least she had gud tins to sell to kip her ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ her children, me I don't hav any good jewellry, nice clothes, you had when I say I lack many things. D̶̲̥̅̊ car he claimed to buy for me was registered I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ his name, maybe cos of school runs I pray to take this bold step one day. ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ my peace. Please for D̶̲̥̅̊ biz, D̶̲̥̅̊ aliexpress can you tell me more about Iτ̲̅ .

Anonymous said...

Aw do u know ur preg is a girl? That means uv done a scan n fr u to know d sex tz 4 mths plus yh? Most mistakes women make is letting a man decide what u wil do with YOUR life. U are a graduate, go out there and get a job!if nut start a biz, if possible source for funds elsewea or save. Then in your own intrest stop all d mumuish wifely duties, if ez body is peppering him he shd b getting it from those ppl he gives money now! Wtf r u doin washing n ironing clothes?? R u a learner. He shd uz a dryclleaner na. Stand your own ground too don't turn in2 a fool coz u tryna please sm1 hu obviously doesn't aprc8 u.
Then, go on your kneels, pray to God, fast if possible,God wil soften his heartt.

Anonymous said...

Some men can be so wicked. Poster, u've tried o, after spending how many yrs in the uni, I'll nt work. There was one weyrey I was dating, his thinking was like that in the 18th century, over controlling dey worry am. He'll shout, I'll shout my own back. I don't like rubbish, one day I threatened him with a knife, so many things. I can't allow anyone to use my head o, in the name of being a submissive woman.
My own is that, save small money, if u can carry ur kids to ur parents house to stay for a while till u can get ur apartment, start working, did u learn anything like catering or hair making or make up... All those things. Start smfin pending when u'll get the job. If u over love ur husband, when he is normal and can see that u can do without him, he has to take u like dat and won't try any rubbish again. For now save small money.
I like that woman in that story, pack all the packables*.

Awesome Mum said...

If you are browsing with a computer, there are many Aliexpress adverts on WC blog, click on them and go to the website you'll see stuff they have and price range etc.

If you are browsing with a phone then Google Aliexpress.com to get there. Hope this helps.

Anonymous said...

@Ivy, did you register with any post office close to your cousin's house or you only depended on your cousin's address? Please reply am on it now.

Anonymous said...

Anon, I Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ع not gone for scan that's d worst, Iτ̲̅ was from D̶̲̥̅̊ first day I told him I missed my period †̥ђɑ̤̥̈̊†̥ he brought D̶̲̥̅̊ abortion story because he thinks Iτ̲̅ might" according to him because he is God. No I didn't learn but Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ plan to do †̥ђɑ̤̥̈̊†̥ by january I want to learn hair dressing.

Anonymous said...

Then go 4 d scan. Atleast u will know what sex, if its a boy u tell him immediately, so he will stop all these hateful acts towards u. Make sure u don't tell him u r going 4 scan, u can afford to go 4 scan on ur own, its not expensive. If its a girl, take ur time n tell him, he shld deal wit it. After all he married a girl to give a boy child, idiot man. Go 4 d scan, if its a boy, u tell him n atleast u will start enjoying his petting now, ask for anything possible, make ur money during this pregnancy, then u can save from it n start a biz. Cos love will be killing him u r carrying a male child, he will be dishing out d money for anything possible. Me whenever I'm pregnant whether boy or girl, I make excess money from antenatal, shopping baby things etc.

ivy brown said...

The post office said there was no need to register with dem. Dat they ll bring any parcel straight 2 d house.
Cynthia. If u have registered as a user for aliexpress, u add whteva u wanna buy to ur cart. The wishlist is 4 tins u ll like to buy later on and they would kip sendin u messageS once anytin on ur cart or. Wishlist reduces in price. Anytin on ur wishlist u wnt to order, @ the top ryt corner, u wld si "ur wishlist" click der and wen d page opens, u click add to cart or buy now. When tins r in ur cart, u can stil leav them der til when eva u wana pay for them, then u click "buy all from this seller" afta removin d one u changed ur mind on. Then u proceed to confirm ur order, dats wher u can send messages to d seller to tel d specifics u wnt, and ders also a place they said "contact" ther u shld try n send a message to d sellers inbox n wait 4 der response bcos I realised dat som shops dnt eva respond n ders no nid doin biz wit such shops. Sellers dat tak tym to respond, r better cos den u r certain d shop is stil active, den u can proceed to pay 4 ur order.
I hope dis helps(it looks like long process, but it really isn't)

Eya Ayambem said...

How can someone looking for peace turn round to become a secret lover? Na movie?

Eya Ayambem said...

A lot of married women sleep with other women's husbands in movies or real life???

Eya Ayambem said...

Everything in life is a risk, even life itself. That some airplanes crash has not stopped people from flying, neither gas road accidents stopped us from driving. Honestly, if poster was living in Abuja I won't mind having a talk with her husband cos most of these mails do bring tears to my eyes.
Trust
Some men with their wahala of going back to accuse their wives of reporting them to a third party. I just don't know:(((

Anonymous said...

Eya relax.. Dnt get involve physically..
Dear poster,Cut down expenses, especially provisions. The kids will cope, trust me. U can make do with 50k for food stuff and provision.. Sent 10k home mnthly, and save 20k.. plsss dnt stop praying, the heart of the king is in God's hands..
Search for a job without his knowledge, and when u find a good one, pls grab it, and ignore his treat! Make sure it's a good job with gud pay.. Any man that's ignore his faith is capable of anything evil!
Plan now! You've got a short time, so u ve to start now... Use any good time to ask him for money.. And save.. If u set up a biz, he can easily close it down.. So no biz for now..
Send ur CV's out, who knows,you might be favored!
Pls and pls,in all this, pray endlessly.. Make Jesus ur friend!..
Trust me, the moment my hubby says he's done with his christian faith, that's the end of our journey together! I'm really vexed right now, cos of ur background... But you know, you've Jesus, so make Him ur best friend plsss... *sigh*

Patsy

Anonymous said...

Eya relax.. Dnt get involve physically..
Dear poster,Cut down expenses, especially provisions. The kids will cope, trust me. U can make do with 50k for food stuff and provision.. Sent 10k home mnthly, and save 20k.. plsss dnt stop praying, the heart of the king is in God's hands..
Search for a job without his knowledge, and when u find a good one, pls grab it, and ignore his treat! Make sure it's a good job with gud pay.. Any man that's ignore his faith is capable of anything evil!
Plan now! You've got a short time, so u ve to start now... Use any good time to ask him for money.. And save.. If u set up a biz, he can easily close it down.. So no biz for now..
Send ur CV's out, who knows,you might be favored!
Pls and pls,in all this, pray endlessly.. Make Jesus ur friend!..
Trust me, the moment my hubby says he's done with his christian faith, that's the end of our journey together! I'm really vexed right now, cos of ur background... But you know, you've Jesus, so make Him ur best friend plsss... *sigh*

Patsy

Anonymous said...

Yes I agree, Aunty Eya just give the best advice you can to the posters and it's better if you don't get physically involved. Make u just dry help post the mails on the blog for us.

Eya Ayambem said...

DEY help abi? Ok, thanks.

Anonymous said...

The advice women get here is more helpful than some Nigerian NGOs, believe you me.

DoingItNaturesWay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DoingItNaturesWay said...

Yipee, another success story...lemme shop 4 my december wears den since this is peak period and the goods ships out fast.
Thanks 4 dis.

Anonymous said...

Gbam!!! You cannot change the rules of the game in the middle of the game.

¤Rubynnia¤ said...

Dear Poster,
After doing the scan and the result turns out to be a BOY, I will advise you don't tell him yet. If he insists on you doing a scan, look for an excuse to dodge it.

Wait till you give birth and when he "reluctantly" asks for the sex, say baby boy and watch his extreme shock! Na then you go do yanja and use that situation to your utmost advantage wella!

Anonymous said...

As for the unborn baby, do not abort. He should ask God to help him to produce a spem for a male child as the sex of a child solely depend on the man.

My dear I will not ask you to quit yr marriage. 80k is reasonable for the house upkeep considering the size of the family. Most wives do not get such amount but they do well in managing the home. Let no one deceive you out of the marriage.

Look for online business to be doing. If he does not allow you to go out, but who does the shopping for the family? You can arrange your time to allow you see those you want to see.

Be wise and play your game well and make yourself a winner.

Anonymous said...

problem with looking for a job now is that she is pregnant most people will not hire a pregnant lady her chances of working is maybe 3-6 months after delivery I think a small business is better for now

Anonymous said...

Tnx pasty, God bless you all, Eya yea, third party like family members Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ really tlked even his sisters. We ar I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ east not Abuja.

Anonymous said...

Ruby, am really praying God to use this pregnancy to console me, I pray with any little strenght I Ђ̥̊α̲̅√, you all made my day, Eya tnx again. Is like am having friends to share with. One day I knw I wil be released from this bondage, ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ I will share my joy with you all.

Brooklyn said...

My dear poster u hv 2 start praying again don't get tired of prayin if u want ur problems solved.u don't know what u carry inside of you...abortion is a big NO baby!don't let go of God's hands.hvnt u heard of scan failure?pls pray 4ur husband nd ur unborn child den try to push some cash 2ur parents no matter hw little.may d God of possibilities bring back joy In2 ur home IJN*amen*

Anonymous said...

@Ivy, pls one more help from you. I got a mail that shipment is complete for my goods, not long after that, I got another mail that delivery date has been extended to January.

I know your goods and other ppls arrived in two weeks. Getting a mail that my delivery date is extended is quite worrisome.
Did you get that second mail too?
Thanks for your time sis.

Anonymous said...

You are in the right direction. Make sure you have sometin on ground to help out financially should the inevitable happens. I see inferiority complex in him hence he will do everytin to frustrate your financial freedom. Try as much as possible to save from now onwards.
Secondly, pls DO NOT ABORT the pregnancy even if you do a scan and it says a girl. Look at Okonjos, the Diezanis, the Hillary Clintons, the Alakija's, Stanbic CEO, all these are women. Pls dont let anyone look down on your daughters. Pls hold them in high esteem and give them equal opportunities.

ivy brown said...

I dnt usually get dt mail. Bt dnt fret bout it sha. Usuallydey say 15 to 60days 4 delivery bt dis is shoppin season so dats y its faster. Bt anyhw as long as ur goods hv been shipped, u ll reciv dem.

Anonymous said...

Thank you durling.

Anonymous said...

pls how can i pay on aliexpress? i have naira master card, am seeing that their prices are in dollars. does it mean without dorm account i cant purchase? abeg how did you buy?

Anonymous said...

Pay with your MasterCard, they take only the dollar equivalent so it's the same thing.

Anonymous said...

I feel for your, poster, because you are so young in the prime years of your life and truly have an unworthy man for a husband. Look at you with the tenacity and ambition to work your way out of poverty to get your education, which was your ticket to a life of freedom and wealth, and now you are at this place. I wish more young women would use their twenties to work and build up themselves financially and worry about marriage just a little bit later. Have some life for themself, use their talents to see how far they can go and make their mark on he world.

You have no money of your own, have a husband who is a control freak, two young children with a little one on the way and living a miserable life. You will have to squeeze some money some how, if that means you buy a cheaper brand of a few items, or learn to make things from scratch, but you have to squeeze some money to set aside for yourself. It may not be much, but it will accumulate. With your degree; you may be able to do some freelance work on the side, even as a consultant, tutor to students, you could even write a book under a nom de plume, you could write a marriage manual to young girls, a magazine column..etc. There are things that you can do to earn money and some of them totally behind his back. When you have money enough to leave, then leave. You are still so young, and that is the great plus you have in all of this, your age and your health. If you intend on moving on, you cannot afford to get pregnant by him again. Any man who would tell his wife to abort their child outside of health reasons, or gross economic hardship is no man whatsoever. He values male over female, so that tells me everything I need to know about dude, and no wonder he treats you like property. So my dear, kiss ass until you can kick it, be sweet and work your plan.

Anonymous said...

God will console u with this pregnancy, it will bring peace to ur home, just ve faith and be prayerful, God listen to us women... cry to HIM

gbemi said...

Problem with some nigerian women is their desperation to get married! Its almost like its our biggest accomplisment! Now uve signed up for a misereable life n trust me its not gonna get any better. The only forward is to take some hard step backwards. U need to separate from him. After all ur education u can't even afford the assist the ones who matters to u n u matter to. Ii don't understand what it is ure clingin to. Ure no longer is patner...ure much lesser to him than that. Can't say much on this...but ur kids are not enough excuse. I really hope yall married in court. So if he decides to leave u because u took on a job...then ure entitled to some compensation. Ure parents are poor, yet they ensured ure educated. They wouldn't hv bothered educating u if they expect less or see u any less than a male child. Use ur head, be ur childrens hero n do the hard but right thing!

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