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How Do I get My husband Interested In My Education After 3 Kids?

Hello Aunty Eya and WC! I have a problem, I just need some advice on what to do about that, I dropped out of school becos my hubby asked me due to my pregnancy.

 now I have
three kids and have not yet completed my studies cos hubby is not ready for me to go back, I stay home, don't work and he doesn't even give me allowance, and its bothering me. What Do I Do? Thanks

20 comments:

  1. Hi, good morning, I'll publish your mail now. Seeing that he is not interested, If you continue to wait for him you might never return back to School. With three kids now, how do you plan to cope? Do you have reliable hands to look after your kids while you are away at the Campus? Do you intend to go full time or read through Distance Learning programs? Is your husband's income enough to settle your school bills and the kids? Your husband may be thinking about all these right now.

    If you haven't had a talk with him on this, try and start the discussion, listen to what he says without complaining unnecessarily. If you can start a business for now, it might help you save some money to assist if he cannot do it alone. Three kids without any source of income or an allowance, we don't know if you have enough savings right now to start a business, if not suggest a business to him but be ready to know something about whatever business you are going to suggest just incase he fires some questions your way. Do your research before deciding and informing him. Just do something if not depression will catch up with you.

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    1. The most unhappy women are housewives who get no pay and no appreciation for the free housework they do daily, they are the most unhappy and miserable among older women. Save yourself from that. Starting a business will help you save for your Education and sometimes it's when you start something that you see him getting interested.
      Try to have a talk with him but before then be sure another pregnancy has not registered o.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9:13 AM

      Eya gud am, pls am losin my mind,are you on watsaap or bbm, I nid advice seriously. Pls

      Delete
    3. So Sorry, not on any. Can you please send me a mail (cuulme@gmail.com) I don't always go on Facebook but I'll open it now incase you are on Facebook too we can chat there if that's OK?

      Delete
    4. Anonymous10:03 AM

      Oº°˚˚°ºĶ, dnt worry I just sent you a mail, am not on facebk. Tnx

      Delete
    5. Anonymous8:22 PM

      God bless you aunty eya you have a heart of gold.I always look forward to reading your comments on every post.

      Delete
  2. Ebehi9:09 AM

    What level of education were U? You can always start a small trade to help urself. If u were at d university u can start part time. This is not the days when u wait for ur husband to do everything for you. Training ur 3 kids in school is not even easy,plus all other financial responsibility falling on him. I believe u can always help urself

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  3. Anonymous9:38 AM

    It is well dear, please seek out part time opportunities...anything to support yourself. I do not know your husband but I do know the financial strain might be too much on him. However, he should be supportive to let you get some kind of training so you can be a helping hand as well. I pray things turn out the better for you.

    Ladies, it is important today more than ever to enter a marriage with a plan of financial stability or a route to it. It should be an agreement that your husband should let you be useful to yourself from jump. If he is finnicky about it, biko think twice. We pray for long life but women become widows, men leave, men act up...the people left suffering are usually you and those kids. Fight from the beginning to let the man know you will be working or doing some sort of business. Do not stay at home doing nothing. You will have yourself to blame later on. God help us all.

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  4. Aunty Eya has nailed it already, just follow her advice and please show a desire to go back to school.

    Our dear husbands, if you know that you may not(cannot) give our wives her upkeep allowance(not the house/feeding Money) for her personal upkeep, Please allow her to work or engage in a business. Please encourage her. It makes her mentally sound and supportive. She has her own life to live, she has her own dreams too. Help her realise her dreams. Assuming she wants to help the poor or even her relation, how can she do that by depending on you (of which you have ur own dreams too) WOMEN please don't hide under the canopy that your husband doesn't want you to work, sometimes, he has not seen the seriousness in you and so he feels you will waste investment rather than make returns. Let him see how serious and eager you are and that starts by how you spend the money he gives you, what you preoccupy yourself with. Not when you are always on africa Magic!

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    1. Mrs Chukwu11:55 AM

      """Not when you are always on africa Magic!"""
      Thank you babe you said my mind. A lot of us women never think that even that TV in our sitting room can help develop our minds, all we are interested in is entertainment and fashion channels. Not referring to you please dear poster, I just feel like addressing us women.

      It mustn't always be Africa magic, Style or music channels (Channel o), try even Geographic Channels, BBC lifestyle, Learn, CNN, Sky News and the rest, you will realize that even with your Education, there is so much you never knew.

      How we carry ourselves sometimes make our husbands see us as unserious and incapable of handling serious businesses. I know women who everytime I visit, are on Africa Magic getting entertained. There is something called personal development, no School can give you that. A lot of us cannot remember when last we entered a book shop picked a book on personal development and read to the end. We complain of time, but truth is if you really want to, you'll create even an hour a day to improve on your knowledge and self. Some of you have downloaded so many books on your systems but never find time to read even one, why bother downloading?.

      I see Aunty Eya as a very busy women but the books she recommends on this blog tells me that she reads a lot. Let us try our best to win their confidence at least. Let him come back for once and meet you watching ordinary CNN instead of home videos and Mexican or whatever soap operas. Or better still let him find you reading a good book, NOT ROMANCE AND FICTION O.

      Life is a struggle, no time to waste!

      Delete
  5. Anonymous11:21 AM

    Thanks but he is financially very capable,just want me to depend on him and am tired already, I only have problem wit income to start with and am hoping I can get frm a relation cos he won't even give me, he is very well to do and even has his own company but I still don't understand d issue of keeping me indoors always, n always depending on him in every damn thing even to buy sanitarys.am d poster

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    1. Anonymous11:27 AM

      Think of a small business that you can start doing from home that doesn't require much capital and start from there event planning is a good start you can meet with clients in coffee shops, restaurants etc start small planning birthdays, baby showers etc

      Delete
    2. Anonymous11:52 AM

      Hmmm. Poster I think we are I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ same shoes here, just dat am a graduate. I dnt understand some men ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ when coming for you dey pretend a lot, then wait after d marriage ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ see D true man.

      Delete
    3. Maybe he is one of those men who think that money will swell your head and he wants to continue to control your life. When you need to get money from this type of man, do not present reasons that look beneficial to you. Look at it this way; To convince a businessman to do business with you, you have to let him see how that partnership will benefit him ( NOT YOU).
      Marriage shouldn't be this way at all but with his type, the only way you make him part with money is hiding your benefits behind his. Look for reasons and areas where he gets to enjoy or gain from whatever you need that money for. He seems a bit selfish and will only shake when it concerns him.

      If he is the type that really loves meat a lot and you need money for fish that you love, then cook without meat, pretend there is no meat and because that affects him, he might give you that money then you use it for fish. Hope I make sense. Treat it like business. He needs facts and it's only when he is convinced that his dime will drop so you too learn his ways and follow suit.

      Be wise, if you save for the rainy day, he will thank you in future not minding that you used his head. If you need anything, let me tell you here that even your tears will not move him except you convince him with concrete reasons ( He is that type). Remember to hide your benefits and present his own to him OK? God will give you wisdom.

      Whatever little you get, try your best to live simple, avoid living to impress friends and all, focus on what YOU want for your future and make up your mind to start saving even little drops. Even if it means cutting down on a few things, please do it for your future.If you start planning now, you'll be able to go back to school.

      Delete
  6. Anonymous12:40 PM

    Poster,pls try n learn a trade.It wuld really help u

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is what they call "Africa Magic Wife"

    you stay at home all day and all you need as a companion and friend is the distinguished Africa Magic!

    It's never too late to get a new lease of life! It begins with you making that decision.





    Nuff'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2:34 PM

      Such a stupidest comment!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  8. Anonymous1:49 PM

    My dear poster I am a graduate with a masters degree but oga is content to see me sit at home. To be fair to him he's not stingy when he has he gives. But he seems to have forgotten I had dreams b4 I met him.

    My family is well to do and so I have no dependents. He on the other hand provides for everybody in his family-cousins, uncles and all. He's the 1st graduate in his family.

    I don't have an account coz though he gives me money he doesn't believe I should save. He gets annoyed when I mention it. He asks me if I think he's going to die soon.


    He does nothing to reassure me dat I av a future without him.

    Infact I feel I'm wasting away here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2:37 PM

      yes you are dear, that's not too good. Incase of uncertainties, your life will make an automatic unpleasant U TURN.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3:54 PM

      My dear are you a learner? Open an account with the little that he gives you he doesn't even have to know about it if you think it will cause a problem. Have the bank statements sent to your parent's address or something. My aunt had a similar situation she too opened an account and would deposit even if it was 1k she deposited and had the statements sent to her parents address needless to say her savings came in very handy one day.

      Delete

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