I read your blog a lot, I noticed you from Those Days you always invite people to your blog on Linda Ikeji blog.
I am in my late twenties, I am Presently in Germany studying .
-Now in 2007 I met this guy, he did not ask for friendship or anything, he just asked straight for marriage, marriage wasn’t my priority then and my idea of marriage has always been to marry my friend, I mean let friendship grow into marriage not just straight off marriage also I was so absorbed in my career and felt I wasn’t mature enough for marriage (a girl can be 21yrs and matured for marriage while a girl can be 26yr and still not matured).
- We met again in 2010 and he still asked me to marry him, and I refused, I wanted us to be friends first so I accepted to visit him and spent the weekend, but nothing happened between us, not even kissing or touching. I refused and he respected my wishes.
- Finally, I was ready to travel to Germany to further my studies late 2011 and I met this guy again and he still asked me to marry him before traveling at least a court wedding or traditional wedding and I still refused, I liked him as a person but I was not really in love . (I was dating someone else from last 2008 -2010 but it didn’t work, I was hoping it would lead to marriage, since then, I haven’t been in a relationship).
- While here in Germany, I tried once in a while to say hello, like twice a year :-), to cut the long story short, while I was doing my research I needed some documents urgently from Nigeria and emailed him , but got no response, after about three months he called me back, pleading and apologizing That he was really sorry the email just somehow went unnoticed because he does not really use his Facebook account and asked if I sorted out the issue and if I still needed help.
This singular act made me really think about this guy, gradually I realized that this could be what I have always wanted all my life and I started developing feelings for him, I struggled for about 3months with this thought but , I decided to own up and tell him my feelings, I did and he was speechless, he said he has always loved me and Has not stopped loving me, always dreamt about me being his wife and how much he adored me and how hurt he felt when I rejected him .
- Well, he told me while he waited and waited for me to love him back, he met a girl and they have been dating for over 9 months now. Well, he said he has not promised her anything either like marriage or asked her to marry him and most importantly, if he loved her as much as he loved me, he could have Proposed to her long time ago and That he wants me to come home even briefly. (I still have a 3 years left here, my program is really long) I did some digging and saw the chic, she is older than me maybe 2 years and I think much prettier and classier than me (I feel kind of intimidated :-(, really cannot understand why this guy has kept on loving me).
Well, he asked me a question if he breaks up with this "girl" what assurance does he have that I won't leave him again. I didn’t answer and didn’t feel like discussing his relationship, don’t want to get involved
- Now readers, I really feel like a boyfriend snatcher right now, I don’t know what to do, go home briefly or what? I really didn’t want to say anything when he talked about breaking up with the girl, I feel guilty but I have come to love this guy and guess what? I have been thinking about spending the rest of my life with him. I am not ready to move finally to Nigeria except few weeks visit and won’t mind getting married even before am ready to move, but am wondering will this work?
Should I return his love advances? (We talk and mail everyday). There is no justification for breaking up with the other lady right now to my thinking. He loves me a lot and adores me so much, wants to meet my parents and sibling as soon as possible.
Ladies will I be doing anything wrong by going home to? What if he changes his mind out of pity for the girl? How do I handle this?