Need your advice urgently
I suspect my wife is cheating on me and am contemplating filing for a divorce. Well, I haven't exactly been caught her red-handed. But I have reasons to believe she is.
We got married about 4 years ago and have a kid together. I am actually very crazy about her. She is the kind of wife anyone would pray for, she is smart, God-fearing, beautiful and diligent.
So what exactly is the issue? Well, a few months ago, I met one of my wife's colleagues at an occasion and just as I was about to leave, he got close to me and whispered in my ears, "I slept with your wife". I was shocked beyond words, but couldn't react then because I didn't want to create a scene and didn't want to embarrass my wife in front of her colleagues. I brought the issue up with my wife on our way home and she dismissed it saying the guy is known to be a nuisance. I waved off the incidence and never thought of it again until 2 weeks ago.
About a fortnight ago, my wife and I had a very heated argument. I have to admit I was at fault, I had done something very silly (had nothing to do with infidelity, I played a joke on her). In the heat of the quarrel, my wife bloated out "You want to know the truth, I slept with my colleague X (the guy at the event some months ago), I also slept with Mr. Y and Mr. Z (Mr. Z being my neighbor). I was devastated. After she had calmed down, she came around and apologized, claiming it was a lie and she said it to get back at me. I believed her and forgot all about the incidence until yesterday.
Well, the last straw that broke the camel's back happened yesterday, while trying to retrieve a message from my wife's fone, I saw a message on her phone to Mr. Z (my neighbor), telling him she is been trying to reach his fone without success and that she is waiting for him at a bus-stop a few streets from our house. I was shocked, I checked the call history between the 2, 3 missed calls from the guy to my wife's fone and no other conversation history. I immediately brought the issue up with my wife. She got quite irked, in her words "you are just overreacting and being childish, he only wanted a ride to work. I saw his missed calls, I called back, he told me he had left earlier, so I asked him to wait for me at the bus-stop". I wouldn't have been too worried about it if not for an event that happened a month after our wedding, 4 years ago. While discussing how to decorate our room, my wife suggested we decorated it the way Mr. Z decorated his room downstairs. I was utterly taken aback because I had lived in that house for 2 years, prior to that time, and had never seen the inside of Mr. Z's room. How on earth did my wife know how Mr. Z (a bachelor then) looked like. I challenged her and she said she escorted a friend to the room to collect some books. I believed her back then, so I didn't make much of an issue then.
But thinking about the whole events I am worried sick, can't concentrate at work. Am I just being paranoid or do I have a case of a terribly cheating spouse on my hand. I don't want to bring up the issue with anyone around us, because I wouldn't want to embarrass her. But am just very worried.
Please advice me.
P.S. I am posting this on your forum because it is her favorite blog and I know she would get to see it.