When Can I have A Boyfriend

Mommy
Mommy (Photo credit: liquene)
Hi Aunty Eya
My name is Sharon, I am 11 years old. Iam in JS 1. Aunty, in my School, all my friends and many of my class mates have boyfriends. Even my BFF has got a boyfriend this term. They said that they won't tell their momms. I am now like the only one who does not want. I asked my Mommy to tell me when it is ok for me to start dating boys? she says that 20 or 21  years is Ok.

I did not like my moms answer, I told her that most of my classmates have boyfriends already and me I will just try to get to 15 before I have one. She disagreed with me. she thinks that
15 is too young to start making friends with boys. My mom is very mean sometimes. She is too strict. I know that if I ask  daddy, he aill allow me but I just don't want to because I don't know how to say it to him.

Mommy told us that she gave birth to  me at when she was 23. She and my daddy dated for 5 years before they got married. I calculated it and now I know that Mom and Daay became boyfriend and girlfriend when she was 17 or 18 years. I don't know why she wants me to grow very old before i get married.

Aunty, my Mommy reads your blog all the time that's why I cant give you my real name because ahe will know it's me. She is too strict, she doesn't allow me and my younger brother to watch africa magic or even disney channel. She allows us to watch only family programs and me I don't enjoy them. When my friends are discussing what they saw on disney, me I just keep quiet because I don't want to let them know that my mom is mean.
Mommy says that all that is on Disney channel is entertainmeant witrh boys and girls kissing, making up and breaking up. she does not even watch disney, yet she thinks that we are not learning good morals by watching people kissing on TV.
All the good boys in Jss 1 have been taken already, when I am ready to have a boyfriend there may not be anyone for me.

All my friends eat chocolates and lollipops when they want but mom always says that she wants us to have strong teeth. There is none of my friends without strong teeth. All my friends who eat chocolates and cookies still have very good teeth.
Aunty, please do you know why my mom is so mean? Aunty please what age do you think is right for a girl to have a boyfriend?
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23 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

Wow, I guess times are changing. 11 is too young to have boyfriend, and to think all her classmates are paired up. Hi Sharon, your mum is not mean, she's just looking out for what's best for you. Remember, you have all the time in the world to eat lollipops and all you want. Face your studies for now. All the best.

Anonymous said...

Its ok to have a boyfriend at 16, discuss with your mom again.

Anonymous said...

Lolol!dis post is actually hilarous.wow @11 2av a bf is actually a hard pill 4any mother2swallow o.my dear,I promise u all ur mum is doin is 4ur own good.my mum was meaner dan dis or I use2think she was bin mean.I didn't date till afta secondary schl.I was 16 wen I had my 1st bf n we dated 4most of my uni yrs.it was special.I feel u shud mature a bit 1st.let's say 15 n dats not2say u loose ur virginity cos u re dating.ders more2relationship dan sex,though its a personal decision,I won't give u an age 2loose it.bt above all b happy,b godfearing,DO NOT bow 2peerpressures dats d worse thing u can do 2urself.instead let ur friends learn 4rm u,let dem b ashamed 4aving bfs @11yrs.4d sweets,she might b more concerned bout health issues like pile n all.sweetheart ur mum loves u,I can imagine wen my baby arrives(my preggy)I'll so wanna bring her up right too.mostly n finally,talk2her like a friend,tell her how u feel.takia my dear

Amelda Quaye said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amelda Quaye said...

awww...sweetie im sure ur mum is doing all this coz she wants the best for u... U are even lucky to have a mum u can talk to, growing up i couldnt even mention the word 'boyfriend' to my mum, not to talk of telling her i wanted one.. Well relax ok.. 21 isnt too old for marriage, u'll realise that when u get there.. And remember some kids haven't even got disney to watch so it isnt that big a deal.. Take care and enjoy being a child, leave grown up stuffs.....u'll have all the time in the world trust me..

Anonymous said...

Honey, your mum is the best...and you'll find out sooner than later.

Anonymous said...

babe, ur mummy isnt mean, though u wnt undastand now. U dnt have to do wat everyone is doing just bcos everyone is doing it. U r too young for such. Wait for as long as u are 18, make friends with both boys and girls try to undastand urself, ur body, ur fellow girls and den guys b4 u rush into relationships. Once again ur mummy isnt mean she was once ur age and has seen alot. Pls face God and ur studies, take dis frm me, someone ur age cant afford divided attention btw ur religious life and ur studies, and dnt alow ur peers to influence u dat much.

Tina said...

Wow!!! I'm a young mother of a girl of 2year!! I wonder the questions she'l ask me when she becomes 11.Hi dear,your Mom is just looking out for u and she has your best interest at heart ok,face your studies for now,and I promise you'l hav the best in the future!!!

Tina said...

Eya,I'm a first timer on this blog nd iv being Amased @ ur works!!! God bless u richly,ur a blessing

Nollywood REinvented said...

Woooow,welcome to the 21st century where our kids' priorities are how and when to find a boyfriend lol.

I think the mother went about it the wrong way because I strongly believe that discouraging the kid without any reasonable reason will only cause them to do it behind their back.

The facct that an 11 year old wrote this though, I still find amazing.

But I think the mother should ask the child, if I say yes who would you want as your boyfriend then what do you want to do with him. And no matter what she answers the mother should keep probing.

Like I want a boyfriend so that we can hold hands, and then the mother should ask 'and then what'. When you continue like that to the end and the child eventually understands that there's nothing there. You explain why grownups have boyfriends in the first place.

These kids find it as an accessory but they need to understand the down sides of this 'accessory'. and I strongly believe that when they do they will no longer feel intimidated by their friend but feel smarter and wiser.

Anonymous said...

The 21st century child will not kill me ooooh, but to be honest with these kids, didn't we start having boyfriends behind our parent's backs by 15, 16 years?

An eleven year old is not too young to ask such a question. Afterall, in the name of Sex Education, her teacher may have taught not knowing where and when to draw the curtains. Her questions abduction curiosity are in line.
Jossy.

Oluwatosin williams said...

I felt like caning you when i saw the post,but on a second taught sweet,mum don't want you regretting about her making a wrong choice for you. Most of my young friends that started early wish their mom was extremely more like your mom. Mine was so hot that seeing me with a man at 20yrs meant i needed to be flogged to correct my wrong and believe me i make the right decisions as a lady now. Boys should not be a subject you take love. wait till u're 20. kisses

Anonymous said...

Your mum is the best Dearie and she means well for you. Take to her advice and concentrate on making your parents proud by having good grades at school. A boyfriend at this time won't add any value to you. It will only cause you distractions. All the best!

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Loooolz swts it depends on what u mean by the term boyfriend,at your age it won't be out of place for u to av a male friend maybe in ur class,with whom u both share ideas and do classworks together.
Coz I remember then in my junior secondary,dad was a very strict disciplinarian,but he adviced me to even get a female friend dat will help me with ma mathematics,coz I was finding it very difficult then.
My dear if am to view love from d other perspective,sorry to say u're still very young to mortgage ur heart and time,uncle Bonario is speaking from experience.
Even when I was in ma 2nd year in d university,I do hide my pictures with female friends from my mum,so dat goes to show anything u hide from mum and dad aint legit yet.
So I advice u feel free make friends with both d boys and girls,but with d sincere purpose of advancing d frontiers of ur knowledge. Plz don't be carried away by what u watch on television. Even at 20 u might still find a reason to wait till u're strong enough to take love and all its connotations. Be a gud girl dear and goodluck in ur studies.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

@ilola said...

Children are different, and from this letter, this girl is one that is easily influenced by peer pressure. Her parent would need to do a lot in helping her with her esteem and identity crisis. Please, let her know she is unique, and the fact that her friend are doing something doesn't mean it is right. She has to do things because they are right or wrong, not cos her friends are doing it.

In short, I pray her parents would pump her with healthy dose of self-esteem.

Abi Tobi said...


awwww sweeite..

11 is too young to have a boyfriend. U are both kids, U might have one crush or the other but it will pass. I will say wait till u are done highschool. or your last year in highschool

At 21, you will understand why your mom says u should wait and that woman loves you soo much.

Abi Tobi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Abi Tobi said...

but I am proud that amongst all your friends, you asked your mom and that you sought out to seek adult advice from young adults and other moms. you are a smart girl.

to add: lolipops and chocolates? see all those stunning healthy looking ladies and women? they don't look healthy from chocolates and sweets they do by eating balanced diet!

you will be fine hun x

Anonymous said...

ur most intelligent writeup hahaha ...Bomsy

Anonymous said...

Uncle Bonario clap for ya sef!
The chikoo!

Anonymous said...

I love this blog so much. Please mothers let us all include biblical teachings too. Fornication is a sin and a mortgager. Let us teach our children how to abstain until they are married. Boyfriend is risky . They might indulge in romances, oral sex, kisses etc which entail sexual immorality . Please lets guide our children in a godly path. God bless you eya. From Lovely**

cleanchic said...

Did u marry as virgin?and was ur husband a virgin?let's give reasonable answers pls,and do not judge.dear sugar,ask ur mom dis question again @ 17.and ask 4 ur friends don't mind them.11 is too young and u know that,love.

kendra said...

Lol....This blog is aazing,u are doing a good job...

Back to the little girl,ur mom is not mean at all,u have what i call a cool mom like i did when i was ur age,not every girl can tell there mom about boys without getting hooooot slaps... so dont say ur mom is mean cos she is wants the best for u... There is one thing u should know,its not bad to have male friends but do not go further than that for now.. just hang out with them,have them as friends,laugh,gist and do home works together,then when u reach a more appropriate age to date like from 17,u would undestand why ur mom said u shouldnt...

By the way,when u grow up,u would be tired of dating cos all it does is weigh u down and drown ur physically and emotionally,so enjoy being a child for now sweetie.. and less i forget,u are smart and intelligent,dont let ur friends ruin that for u

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