|Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)|
A nagging woman is the direct opposite of a peace loving woman. Any woman who complains all the time, always and daily has something to complain about is a nagging woman. A nagging woman is seldom happy. She is dissatisfied, has something to complain about, and feels like no body really does what she wants. A nagging spouse believes that her happiness depends on others. She looks for people who can do her every whim, obey her commands, grant her every wish, and ask her for life directions.
- Compare and contrast mode. One reason why she is always depressed, is the fact that she is always in the compare and contrast mode. Her spouse is compared to her friend's husband. This is done verbally or internally. She wonders why he cannot afford all the beautiful things her friends get from their spouses, She compares him to his best friend who has changed his cars thrice in two years. He is compared to his colleague in the office who just moved into a great neighborhood with all the luxuries at their beck and call. She doesn't seem to understand why he is more interested in savings than living large like his friends. In her head, her man is the worst compared to every other husband around her. She forgets easily that he is human and has limitations.
- Tries To Change Others. Lives the greater part of her life trying to change her spouse. Struggling to make him what she wants, to get him to eat less, get him to sleep more, make him shave more often and so on. It is good to try to influence others positively. The problem is when we try to make them be like us because we fell like we are the best thing that happened to their lives. He loves to do things like a man and she tries to make him live like her next door neighbour. No man can successfully change another. Even young children at home are born with their different personalities. Try changing your two year old and see how impossible it is. How then do you think that your efforts can change a full grown man. When we try to change adults, we only succeed in making them expert pretenders. They try to be what you want in your presence, but change back as soon as they leave your presence. If your man begins to be like you, who will take over the him that has been dropped. You cannot change him from loving big cars, you can't stop his love for outdoor activities, neither can you stop him from watching football at the expense of your soap operas. We should change what we can and ask God for the grace to tolerate what we cannot change and move on with our lives.
- She Is Unobservant; Never tries to study her spouse. Does not try to find out the reason why he could not afford an expensive gift during the last marriage anniversary. Never cares to know why he has suddenly become withdrawn, what is making him short tempered, why he talks too much lately, why he is drinking more than usual, why he has started to carry office work home, why he is always in a hurry to leave the house. In as much as she is happy, everything else can wait. She complains constantly about his working late but does not try to make the home more comfortable than his office. Sees no reason why he is suddenly a social networking guru, complains of not getting attention from him whereas she is never available to talk with. After complaining, she looks for things to keep her busy and unavailable too. She does not realize that the reason he still drives that rickety car is because he wants his kids in the best schools. All she wants is a better and bigger and LARGER life, refusing to see that he is planning ahead for the kids 'education. He has lost some weight due to the stress of work, colleagues and friends have drawn his attention to his looks except madam. He wears a wrong pair of stocking to work, the last person who sees him leave the house is you, yet it is his secretary who notices and draws his attention to his dressing. Complains about his drinking but not about her uncontrollable Television watching. He is thinking too much lately, she is talking too much about her events lately.
- A Pleaser Of Other People; She would rather impress her friends than make her spouse happy at home, tries to be every body's friend forgetting that the only thing liked by everybody is water, If we can survive without water, many will withdraw their likeness for it. Every body cannot like me! No matter how hard you try. Even among your friends, some are just frienemies. The nagging wife is always complaining because she wants to look her best at all times to impress. Wants to gain acceptance in the group. Wants him to provide the latest and most trending at all times. Forgetting that reality is different from what we see on the screen. Behind the scenes programs do not really cover everything, you know. Do not spend your few days on earth living to impress others who may not really care about you. It pays to be considerate.
- Never Content; She can be compared to Oliver Twist. Wants more of everything. The more he tries the more she craves. Godliness with contentment is great gain. Nothing brings peace and happiness than being content. While we struggle to get better and to go higher in life. At every level and step of the way, we should be thankful and content. Craving and lusting without being grateful for what we already have can steal the joy of harvest from us. A content woman is a crown to her husband. She gives him peace and helps him live long. The grass that seem greener on the other side may not really be that green when you cross over to that side. Contentment is different from laziness, it is also different from idleness. She is always pushing him hard for more, more and more. She never lets him relax comfortably because he has not acquired as much as her friend's spouses. A nagging wife is like a thorn in your pant. Lives all her life in a rat race of competition and unhappiness. She can be overly dependent too. She wants him to do everything, even where she should assist, she fails to realize that Independence is power.
Who Is A Nagging Woman?
She is a complainer. A nagging woman is always in need; physical need, emotional need, psychological need financial need and all kinds of needs, Quit being needy! and you will be respected even more. A nagging woman is like a dead sea. Always ready to receive but never giving. Imagine eating and drinking without urinating, sweating or even toileting.
A woman in the habit of nagging does not try to help or find solutions, but uses words like:
- Why are you always drinking?
- You eat too much
- your pot belly is growing by the day
- Do something about your size
- When are you going to shave and look clean?
- When last did you go for a manicure?
- Do you polish your shoes at all?
- Don't you think that your toothbrush looks old/
- I hate the way you snore when you are tired.
- You eat too much to lose weight
- Can't you just replace this car?
- You walk like a pregnant woman.She just goes on and on without realizing that there is no perfect human anywhere. When you nag, it is easy to mistake that for being truthful and frank. Every time we nag, we become obnoxious and unbearable. We become a pain in the neck. Stop nagging to get what you want! Once you have acquired that nagging attitude, you just cannot wait for him to finish his dinner before attack.
The Result Sheet:
- He is constantly uncomfortable around his family, he decides to start spending longer hours at work. Begins to hang out more. Starts working on weekends just to be away from family and trouble.
- He may begin to look for peace in places that you may not like.
- He begins to ignore you and your rantings and eventually becomes insensitive to your feelings.
- He may start doing the opposite of what you ask for just to annoy you for nagging .
There is always a time for every thing. Observing the times in marriage will teach us that there is: A time to talk and a time to keep quietA time to pry and a time to refrain from pryingA time to poke fun and a time to be seriousA time to be dependent and a time to be independentA time for the kids and a time for the dadA time to frown and a time to smileA time to explain and a time to listen.
Also Read: Your Marriage Can Work, If You Make It Happen.