When you feel really good about yourself, you will find it much easier to get along with others. At any point in time, when you don't feel good, getting along with others becomes a difficult task to perform. A child who does not feel good about him/herself, finds it difficult to get along with other kids in the neighborhood, at school and even siblings and extended family members.
5 WAYS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN A CHILD
- Play with the children: Find some time in your busy schedule to just sit with the children, come down to their level, try to discuss like friends. If this is not started early enough, later in life, when the kids become Teenagers, it becomes difficult to start bonding. At that age, they begin to find it strange and to laugh and get away from you each time you try to draw closer. Playing with them makes them feel loved and confident. Sometimes, just consciously pause whatever you are doing and join the children to play and have fun together.
- Create a child Friendly Home: Let your home be such that the children can feel free. There will be lots of clean up to do no doubt. If they are up to age four and above, they should be part of the cleaning up. Let your home not be the type that children are only restricted to their bedrooms because this will make them to start preferring staying in other places or spending more time in their friends houses that are more child friendly. A child friendly home builds Confidence in Kids. They grow up so fast you know, This is the only time we have them around, so it is good to enjoy it while it lasts and to try as much as possible to be their good friends so that we do not lose them later. A child friendly home should be welcoming to our children's friends too. When their friends are free to visit, it gives us as parents the opportunity to know and even monitor who our kids associate with. They grow more confident when they know that their friends are welcome at home.
- Call the Child by name and in a sweet tone: It is important that we call our Kids by their names and maintain eye contact with them. There is a kind of calling and pitch that comes when you call someone angrily. Try not to use that tone when addressing the kids. Call names in a sweet and loving manner. In a way that makes them smile when they hear their names being called. Do not talk generally and then say something like " You there, give me some water to drink" NO, be specific with the children no matter how many they are, call them and let them feel that they are also important to you. Avoid the temptation of calling only the one that responds fast or the one that runs errands cheerfully. Call often and involve even the one that shirks chores and the one that will not answer fast when called. Do not let any of the kids begin to feel like they are not important to you.
- A pet name? Yes, for me , all my kids have pet names and they love it when I call these names. sometimes I even call these pet names like I am singing a song. I try to make the name sound as good as possible. For instance, I call Ruth " Rutty, Ruty mama, Baby Ruth, Ruthie girl, My Ruth etc" She so loves it when I start singing her pet names to her. Whatever makes the kids happy, should build self confidence in the child.
- Help the child develop talent and acquire Skills: My nine and eleven years old play musical instruments in their schools. Learning these skills started at home. I remember buying them small keyboards as Christmas presents when they were still 3-4 years old. They so enjoyed playing on these keyboards, so that when one is ruined, we ensure that it is replaced.
What motivated us to start giving them Keyboards was their love for music even as babies. Meg still plays her keyboard at School while her sister has included playing the Violin too and doing it so well. Our getting them Keyboards made them better than their school mates and this encouraged their music teachers to be interested in teaching them more and paying more attention to them since they were already knowledgeable in playing musical instruments. Give them a lift, Do not depend on only the school to make the kids what you want them to be. A little push at home will make them even better and more confident among their peers.
WORDS TO USE WITH THE KIDS: